River Wolf(98)
“No.” Swift. Certain. Absolute. “Except you are avoiding the rather large elephant in the room.”
“If I turn into an elephant, I promise not to avoid it.” Shuttling aside her discomfort, she reached for a piece of sausage. “I don’t know what to say about the wolf thing. I don’t know how it happened or if it will happen again or even how to control it.”
“I know and we’ll work together. You’re a bright, sharp woman with a hell of a survival instinct. You and your wolf need time to accept each other…and until such a time as you can, I will control her.”
Biting off a piece of the sausage, she studied him. His offer sounded good in theory, except… “I don’t give up my power to anyone.”
“Not even to someone who will never abuse it?” No hurt in his question, only genuine curiosity.
“Brett, if I give up my power, how do I save you if you need it? No one controls me.” The words escaped her before she could rein them in. “I don’t want to hurt anyone, least of all you, but I barely understand who I am now and even struggling to hold onto this sliver myself I know without doubt, I will not surrender who I am to you or to that wolf or anything.”
“That wolf,” he said carefully. “Is a part of you. It is an extension of who you are, and all the potential you’ve kept bottled all these years. It’s…what do you remember from the last two days?”
Two days? What?
“It’s been over thirty-six hours since you changed. Last night, while you slept, you finally let go of the wolf and became human again.”
Two days? Her brain seemed to be stuck on some kind of Matrix glitch. “I…I was on the porch with you and Trent last night.”
“Night before last.”
She put the sausage down. The last time she’d blacked out…her stomach lurched. Brett cupped her cheek and the icy stain of apprehension slithering over her halted.
“Colby, deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth.” The command resonated through her and she let out the breath she’d sucked in and held. Another breath and the spots dancing in front of her eyes diminished. “Listen to me, if you believe nothing else, believe me when I say this gets better and you will be fine.” He offered her no other alternative.
“I don’t remember.” She hated the quivering note.
“I know, and we’ll work on that together, but until you—Colby—are as present with your wolf as you are now, I will control her.” He stroked his thumb along her lower lip. “I will always protect you and her, but I will never force you.”
Trying to reconcile the information with the kernel of fear in her gut, she said, “Is that what it means to be Alpha?” She hadn’t forgotten that part. Brett was Alpha. He led his pack—Hudson River.
“Part of it.” He released her cheek, then tapped her plate. “You need to eat. Shifting burns a tremendous amount of calories, do you remember talking about that?”
“Yes.” She hadn’t slid out of the bed to look in the mirror yet, but before she did… “Do I look different to you?”
“You look like my Colby.” The possessiveness in his tone sent a shiver through her. Trusting his word, she took a bite. He didn’t let her say anything more because he used a fork to begin offering her some of the food. What appetite she had grew with every morsel.
Finally, she cleared the plate and the last of the queasiness and jitters seemed to have evaporated. “I’m going to have to get to know myself all over again.”
“Probably, but think of it as an adventure.”
“Easy for you to say, you’ve always been the big bad wolf, I thought I’d get to be a kick ass Red Riding Hood or maybe Mulan. I could handle Mulan.”
“Mulan who saved her whole country by defying convention and going into battle pretending to be a man?” He sounded as though he weighed the idea.
“Yes, her only pretense was gender. Her success and her skill were her own.”
“I can handle that—but you don’t have to pretend to be a man for me, sweetheart. In fact, I think I can handle being the only dick in the family.” His tongue in cheek delivery left her gaping.
“That’s such a me remark.”
He grinned, then glanced at the door and said, “Do not come in.”
“What?”
“No problem. He’s running early. He’ll be in place in fifteen minutes.” Luc’s answer startled her, but then she heard him walking down the stairs. The sound rushed in and she was acutely aware of other voices in the house. Gillian was back and her husband, too.