When Van and Miranda asked about those pictures, they may as well have hit me with a hammer. Van was being curious, but her talking about it, left it fresh in Miranda’s head again. I felt like I took one step forward and six steps back with making amends.
When I found out about Miranda, I left the pictures on the table. Conner took it upon himself to gather them up and put them in the woodstove. He didn’t tell me til we were getting ready to leave the hospital and I remembered where I’d left them.
He should have just burned them there and then, but instead he left them there for me to do.
Van followed me into the barn and I went rummaging into the stove looking for them. “Don’t you know where they are in there?”
“No, look don’t tell Miranda, but Conner put them in here.”
“What? You mean he knows?” She looked shocked.
“He’s who I called that night. He knew the plan the whole time and was kind of in on it with me. He’s the one who suggested I was drugged.”
She sighed. “Since he hasn’t beaten the shit out of you I should have guessed that. Wow, I never would think he’d want you doing anything like that.”
“Everyone is forgetting that this was always about Izzy. Conner knew it was the only way to secure her as my daughter and keep her away from that piece of shit old lady.”
“I didn’t forget.”
I found the pictures and handed them to her. I watched her reactions as she looked at each one of them. I was about to grab them out of her hand when she started going through them a third time, but she held one up in front of my face. “Look at this picture, Ty. Look in the background at the mirror.”
I took the picture and tried not to look at a naked Heather on top of me. In the mirror I could see someone standing there holding the camera. “Holy shit; there was someone else in the room. This person could prove I was drugged.”
“Or that everything was staged. You don’t even know you really had sex.”
She was right and I wanted to believe that even in an incoherent state, I would never do that to my wife. I needed to find this person, but the picture was too small to tell who it could have been. All I knew was that she had blonde hair. It was little to go on, since Heather’s friends all had blonde hair. Even if I did figure out who it was, none of them would be willing to screw her over.
“This might help Miranda believe me, but I doubt we can prove anything else with it. I should have just had a drug test. I just honestly wanted to bury it, Van. I didn’t want to ever talk about it again. I should have known Heather wouldn’t stop until I was miserable.”
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself and prove Miranda wrong. She’s crazy in love with you. What happened to the Ty who was sexy enough to get whatever he wanted? Maybe instead of dwelling on the negative, you should just try to make her want you again.”
I held my hand up in front of her face. “I know I joke around about sex to you, mostly because it drives you crazy, but I’m kinda weirded out right now.”
She started laughing. “You’re kidding right?”
“Not at all.”
She pushed me away from her. “You were my first. It’s not a secret. I’m sure you and Miranda have done more than I could ever even imagine, but one thing I know for a fact is that when you love, you do it with your whole heart. I’m not saying to attack your wife sexually, but maybe if you could show her that being with her sexually isn’t just about the sex, it’s about the connection you share together. There isn’t any other person that either of you will feel that with. Look, I’m not saying sex is the solution, but maybe you should stop crying about it and try another approach.”
“I refuse to take sexual advice from you.” I was being sarcastic, but she still rolled her eyes anyway.
“You and Miranda were good friends, but your relationship is also very physical. Right now half of your relationship is missing and you’re both paying the toll. I know she isn’t supposed to have intercourse yet, but her holding out on you isn’t just punishing you, I’m sure it’s punishing her as well. You know I’m right.”
I walked over to the pool table and tossed the balls around. “Maybe, but it doesn’t change the fact that she doesn’t want me touching her like that. I’m just a constant reminder of the person she never wanted to be with.”
“Do you remember when Colt’s dad died and he pushed me away?”
I rolled my eyes and leaned over the table to face her. “Of course I remember. If you’ve forgotten it was when you dumped me for my cousin.”