She stood there speechless for just a second before I turned around to walk out the door. I felt objects hitting me and my Jeep as I climbed in and peeled wheels off of her street.
Fuck!
That wasn’t how I wanted things to go, but at least she knew I fucking hated her. She ruined my promises that I’d made to my wife and I would never forget that. I hated the bitch and if she got hit by a fucking car, I wouldn’t care.
Instead of going home, I stopped at the bar. Conner ended up meeting me and I filled him in on my fucked up afternoon. As much as I expected him to say something smart, he sat there and listened.
“This is all fucked to Hell, Man. I don’t know how much longer I can keep this secret from her. It’s ripping me apart inside.”
Conner had told Miranda he was meeting me, but it didn’t stop her from texting me.
Is everything okay? – M
Just a bad day at work, Baby. Will be home soon. I love you. – Ty
“Ty, I don’t know what to tell you. That bitch took advantage of you and whatever happened wasn’t because you wanted it to. You need to remember that. You didn’t willingly cheat on Randa. I don’t believe that for a second.”
I appreciated his trust, but it still killed me knowing what did happen.
After a few more beers, I called it a night, while Conner insisted he was staying out for a little while longer. I thought back to that night where he had called me Amy. “Are you seeing Miranda’s boss?”
He cleared his throat, shocked that I just came out and asked. “Why would you say that?”
“You know my darkest secret. Just spill.”
“It’s complicated. As much as I would like to say that I am, I can’t. Am I spending time with her? Well, yeah, I am, but it’s hard to explain.”
I finished my beer and shook my head. “Whatever, Man. Don’t let Miranda know. She will flip out on your ass. That woman, Amy, has problems. Her old man is a drunk.”
“I know all about him. Don’t worry about me.”
We shook hands and I left him in the bar. I appreciated his friendship after everything and there was no way in hell I was going to tell my wife about him and Amy.
When I got home the lights were already turned out. The reflection of the television screen caught my eye as I walked in the door. Miranda was sprawled out on the couch, sound asleep. Even though it was quite difficult, I lifted her up and carried her to bed. About halfway, she wrapped her arms around my neck. “I left you dinner in the microwave. Are you mad at me?”
I tucked her under the covers and kissed her head. “I’m not mad at you. I love you with all of my heart, until my last day, I promise. Get some sleep.”
I wasn’t that hungry, but I ate anyway. Miranda would get upset if I didn’t. After I cleaned up my plate and showered, I finally climbed into bed next to her. Her body was so warm and I cuddled up closer.
I messed up getting the paternity papers again, this time permanently. We were going to have to fight this out in court. I should have never even tried this convoluted idea in the first place. To add insult to injury, I knew that somewhere down the road I would have to come clean about that night. My wife would leave and I would be without my children.
As I lay awake staring at the ceiling, I contemplated never telling her. My life could be full of happy memories if I could just get past the one bad one. We could give our kids a great life together.
Would I be able to live with myself to give them that life, or was I just being a selfish asshole, hiding from the truth and what I deserved?
Chapter 17
Miranda
The eighth month of my pregnancy went by so slow. I decided to rearrange all of the furniture in the house, and since I couldn’t move it all myself, I would text my brother to stop what he was doing to come help me. To say he was a bit pissed at me would have been an understatement, especially since I kept changing my mind.
For the past week, I had reorganized a bunch of things, put all of Bella’s old clothes in boxes and cleaned all the sheets in the house, including the already clean ones in the linen closet. I just couldn’t stop my madness. Ty came home each day to fancy gourmet meals and I insisted on doing the dishes afterwards.
I don’t remember nesting with Bella, in fact as far as my pregnancies went, this one was completely different. Aside from the Tucker’s mom drama, I was happy and safe. I wasn’t fighting with a lousy abusive boyfriend, or begging him to grow up and be a father. The father of my twins was the perfect man. He was everything a girl could ask for and more.
A sudden knock at the door startled me, because everyone on the farm just walked in. I walked out of the bedroom to see a familiar face staring at me through the glass in the door. My stomach dropped and I immediately got my hopes up that something good was about to happen.