She shook her head and walked into the bathroom with me. “I think you are a chicken shit.”
I smacked her ass before we both stood over the tub looking at Iz, playing with her mermaid doll. “Mommy, Daddy says that I can’t show my girl parts, but you do it all the time. How come?”
Miranda looked at me and smiled, before looking back to Iz. “Sweetie, little girls can’t show their girl parts. You can’t show your girl parts until you get married.”
“So Daddy never saw your girl parts until you got married?”
“That’s right,” Miranda lied.
It would have been too easy for the conversation to end at that. “Well, do you like looking at Daddy’s boy parts?”
Miranda rubbed her belly and I had to stick my fist against my mouth to keep from busting into laughter. “Why do you want to know?”
She shrugged. “Well, I know Daddy looks different than us.”
Miranda looked shocked, like she was going to scream. “And how do you know that?”
“Noah showed me his boy parts before. He said that all boys look like him. How come we can’t stand up when we pee pee?”
Of course my wife turns to me for help. I leaned against the bathroom door and took a deep breath. “Iz, girls and boys have different parts. Little girls are too pretty to stand up when they pee. God wanted you to be comfortable when you had to go potty. Boys are tough so we have to stand.”
Miranda took her hand and smacked her face, shocked at my answer. I threw her a wink. “So God thinks girls are pretty?”
“Yes, he thinks you’re beautiful. Now get washed and get out before you turn into an ugly prune.” Miranda stood up and walked me out into the hallway. “Really? God wants us to sit when we pee? You know she is goin’ to tell her teacher that.”
“It’s better than her talking about you staring at my dick like it’s a bedtime snack.”
Miranda kept walking, while shaking her head. I followed behind her and sat down on the couch. My dinner was cold again, but I didn’t care. I was starving.
While I ate, she continued to watch me. “You want a bite?”
“I’m goin’ to bite somethin’.”
“Want me to lift my plate up, so you can get started?” A large pillow came at my head. Since I was eating, I didn’t have time to protect my face.
“You pull it out and just see what I do to it, smart ass.”
The truth was that I was getting hard just imagining her mouth on it. I was trying to chew my food up, but my focus was now on my cock. Miranda got up from the couch and left me sitting there alone.
“What do you want to drink, Babe?”
Aww, she was being nice.
“I don’t care. I can share yours.”
Izzy came out and jumped on the couch. Her pajamas were stuck to her body. “Can I have a bite?”
I handed her a green bean and touched her pajamas. “Iz, did you get dressed while you were still wet?”
“You forgot to give me a towel.” She grabbed another green bean.
“Are you cold?”
Miranda walked into the living room and sat down on the other side of me.
“My feet are.” I set my plate down and started warming her little toes.
“You better give Mommy a kiss, we need to get you in bed.”
She sadly crawled over my lap and kissed her mother. “Goodnight Mommy.”
“Night Baby.”
I picked her up and carried my big girl to her bedroom. After I got her tucked in she folded her hands like she always did.
“Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord my soul to keep. In the morning when I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take. Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, bless the bed that I lay on. God please bless my Mommy and my Daddy and my Uncle Conner and Aunt Van, and Uncle Colt and Noah and Sam and Christian and my teacher and Harvey.”
She opened her eyes. “Did I forget anybody, Daddy?”
I leaned down and kissed her.” No, I think God knows you love everyone.”
“I forgot Mimi and Poppy and Grandma.”
“It’s okay; I think he knows you love them too.” She remembered Colt’s dog though.
“Daddy, are you mad at me?”
I looked right at her. “What are you talking about, Iz? Why would I be mad at you?”
She shrugged. “You didn’t get me from school today and you didn’t come home to eat dinner. Mommy looked sad too.”
“Isabella, Daddy isn’t mad at you. I love you with all of my heart, Sweetie. I had something to do tonight, that’s all. I’m sorry I made you think that. You know you’re my favorite girl in the whole wide world.”
“And Mommy too.”