Risking Fate(27)

A little while passed before both of our mothers came running out of the house. Colt wasn’t able to reach his lawyer directly, but left a message that it was urgent for him to get back to us. I didn’t care what I had to do, or what it cost. I needed to protect my family.

We tried to relax enough to enjoy dinner with the family, but the room was filled with concern. What happened didn’t just affect me and Miranda, it affected our whole family. Lots of hugs were exchanged, along with even more tears.

It wasn’t a life or death situation, but it felt that way for me. I felt like someone was taking my heart and ripping it out of my body while I stood there and watched. That child was my life. I’d loved her since she took her first breath of air. I was the only father she ever knew. Every day of my life revolved around my love for her. How could someone be able to just rip that away from me?

She would always be Miranda’s child, but this woman threatened my whole relationship that I had built with her. I’d never felt pain and fear like this.

After dinner, Miranda went upstairs to take a nap. She needed to try to relax. It wasn’t helping that it was all the whole family was talking about. Conner had even asked if I wanted him to make the woman disappear. As much as I did, I couldn’t imagine him committing acts of violence to protect us.

I was sitting on the porch swing outside, when Izzy climbed up into my arms. I zipped up her coat and kissed her on the head. She slipped her little hand inside of mine. I looked down at it and felt my eyes burning. “Daddy, what’s wrong with you?’

I let go of her hand and wrapped my arm around her while putting my other hand back in hers. “Nothing’s wrong.”

She gave me a silly look. “You’re sad today.”

I kissed her nose. “Daddy just loves you so much, that’s all. I just love you so much.”

I kept my mouth over her head so she couldn’t see the tears pouring down my face. I tried not to sniffle, but it was impossible. It was inconceivable for me to be able to give up being her father. I knew it was just a formality and I would always be her dad, but I wanted to be the only one. She was my baby, my little girl. I helped bring her into the world. I kept her safe and loved her unconditionally. It was me who rode with them to the hospital. I changed her diapers, I spent hours talking to her through a computer screen. I visited to be able to see her when she was a baby. I taught her how to get dressed, how to eat French fries, how to brush her teeth, how to pray and how to sing.

It was my job to tuck her in at night, to make sure she took her bath and kissed her mommy enough. It was me who loved her little personality, who cherished her sweet kisses, who kissed her goodbye every day before school. It was me who played Santa and took a million pictures. I had built us the perfect house and given her the best room she could have ever asked for. It was me who she came to when she had a bad dream, and my side of the bed when she wanted to cuddle with us at night.

None of that had anything on what she had taught me. Izzy had taught me what the real meaning of love was. She had given me this life I was living. She’d led me straight to Miranda. She made our family complete.

I looked down at her hand holding mine. Her little perfect hand that I remember being so small it could only hold one of my fingers.

Izzy never let go of her hold on me, perhaps knowing that I just needed to hold her, or maybe she was afraid of seeing me so emotional. I just couldn’t help it. I’d never felt so sad about anything.

Conner came walking out and I didn’t even care about him seeing me upset. He gave me a nod and approached us anyway. “Hey Bella, Grandma says that she has somethin’ for you and Noah to do. Can you come with me for a sec?”

Thankfully, she didn’t turn back to look at me. I watched her walking away and felt like the life was escaping from my body. I put my hands over my eyes and just sat there as the night sky turned to black.

A little while later, I heard someone approaching me, but never looked up. Someone sat down beside me and reached their arms inside of mine. Van’s soft voice spoke close to my ear. “I thought I’d find you out here. I leaned my head down on top of hers and just sat there saying nothing. I wasn’t crying as bad as before, but I still couldn’t see clear on account of my eyes being filled with wetness.

“Colt will do whatever it takes Ty. We won’t let her take that title from you. This whole family knows who that child’s real father is.”

That’s when I just lost it again. Van pulled me close and wrapped her arms around me. She rubbed my back and let me cry. “I love her so much, Van. Maybe it’s wrong for me, maybe it’s selfish. I just don’t want to share her. She’s my baby, not anyone else’s. She’s my little girl.”