Rich People Problems (Crazy Rich Asians #3)(130)

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After their audience with the sultana, Kitty remained silent during the helicopter ride back to Singapore. As she alighted from the chopper, she turned to Oliver and said, "This house the sultana was referring to, how much are we talking about?"

"Kitty, I know you heard what you heard, but the Dowager Sultana lives in a bit of a fantasy land. Colette would never buy Tyersall Park."

"And why not?"

"I know my cousins-they would never sell the house to her."

"Oh really? You said Colette would never be at your auntie's funeral, and yet there she was. You said Colette wasn't a threat, but then she bumped me off the cover of Tattle. I don't think I can believe anything you say anymore."

"All right, I'll admit, I'm not the Oracle of Delphi. But there are some things that even Colette could not make happen. For one thing, there is no way she can afford that house." 

"Really? How much is it?"

"Well, I'm told the highest bid right now is four billion. And I know Colette doesn't have that kind of money on her own."

Kitty frowned. "She doesn't, but she has a trust fund worth five billion. She can borrow against that trust if she really wants this house. And something tells me she does. She wants so desperately to be the queen of Singapore, queen of the fucking universe!"

"Look, Kitty, if it will stop you from losing your mind from this ridiculous rivalry, go ahead, try to buy the house. I'll even go to my cousins with your offer for you. But just so you know, in order for the Youngs to regard your offer as serious, you've got to come in with a bid that wipes everything else off the table clean."

"So we offer them five billion."

"That's not going to work. You have to realize something, Kitty: You are a Mainlander who's married to a mogul with a very big but very new fortune. You haven't yet gained the degree of respectability that these people value. If you want to steal Singapore's most prized estate away from its snottiest family, you've got to do it in a big way. You need to shock and awe them with your money."

"How much will that take?"

"Ten billion."

Kitty inhaled deeply. "Okay then, offer them ten billion."

Oliver was taken aback by how quickly she responded. "Are you serious? Don't you need to talk to Jack first?"

"I'll worry about my husband. You worry about getting me that house and you better get it before that little snake Colette comes around with her tongue out. If she steals this house from under my nose, I will never ever forgive you. And you know what that means," Kitty warned, as she got in to her waiting car.

After waving her off, Oliver took out his cell phone and punched a number on his speed dial.

"Hallooooo?" a voice answered.

"It worked. It bloody worked." Oliver sighed in relief.

"That Kitty girl is going to buy the house?"

"You better believe it. Auntie Zarah, I could kiss your feet."

"I can't believe it was that easy," the Dowager Sultana of Perawak said.

"The minute you started talking about Tyersall Park, she forgot all about the stupid title. You were absolutely brilliant!"

"Was I?"

"I had no idea you could act like that!"

The Dowager Sultana giggled like a schoolgirl. "Oh my goodness, I haven't had this much fun in a long time! That ridiculously formal way you were speaking to me-'If I might venture to ask'-hahahaha, you sounded like you were in a Jane Austen novel! I was biting my lip to stop from laughing. And oh, and I have a horrible neck ache now from wearing all those damn necklaces! I thought I was going to be strangled by diamonds, heeheeheeheehee!"

"If you hadn't been dressed like that, Kitty would not have been in such awe of you. She's been spoiled with jewels herself, so we really had to lay on the shock and awe."

"Shock and awe indeed! Did you like what I had my guards chant before I made my grand entrance into the room?"

"Oh my God, I almost peed in my pants! I was thinking, why are they chanting the Singapore Children's Day song?"

"Heeheehee! Remember when your mummy made you sing it to me one day when you came home from school? You were so proud to sing a song in Malay. Now, did you like my mention of China's First Lady?"

"I did, I did. Very appropriate, Auntie Zarah."

"I've never even met her, heeheeheehee!"

"You deserve an Oscar, Auntie Zarah. I owe you big-time."



       
         
       
        

"Just send me a jar of those pineapple tarts that your cook makes, and we'll call it even."