I'm terrified and my chest is getting tighter. I can't do this. I can't.
"Shawn sent me a package." I look up and see Troy's body straighten. "It's not what you think. He sent me our scrapbook, a letter, and the engagement ring. He asked me to marry him and when he was down on one knee, I saw you," I sob. "It's always been you, Troy. But I hurt him and I'm so scared I'll hurt you."
"Don't be scared. I have the same fears. Together we'll figure it out and we'll make it through, okay?" I don't respond. "Do you still love him?"
"No." I wipe my tears. "I owe him this. He's in town and wants to talk. Will that be okay?"
"I don't know. I mean, I guess, but the idea of you being with him pisses me off. I'm not happy about you seeing him. You need to tell me where you're meeting him and when."
"I'm so sorry, Troy," I tell him, crying, and holding his hand. "I love you so much, but I just . . ."
"I love you too, baby, and we'll figure it out whatever is going on, okay?"
Before I can say anything, Will's throwing Troy off my bed. "What the fuck, man?"
Troy quickly gets up and gets in Will's face. "We're just talking. That's it."
"Oh, really? So professing your love is a figure of speech?" He pushes him again. Carter runs in and gets between the two. "Move, Carter."
"Not a chance, man." He looks at both guys before looking at me. "Is everything okay?" I pull the covers up and shake my head.
"Will, you need to calm the fuck down," Troy yells. "We were going to tell you . . ."
"No," he screams. "Not my fucking sister, man. You can have anyone. I fucking told you to stay away from her. I told you, bro code. We've been best friends since day one and you helped me take care of her and now you're fucking my baby sister?"
His words make me wince. I can't look at anyone right now.
"She's more than that. I love her. I fucking love her and want to be with her."
"No. You wouldn't. No."
My heart breaks listening to them. I've ruined their lives. Will's never going to forgive me and Troy's not going to want to deal with this drama.
Everything's in slow motion. Will pushes Carter out of the way and punches Troy in the face. He goes down hard and blood comes out of his mouth as he turns to his back and Will kicks him in the side. Carter rushes up and pushes Will down. Troy's broken and holding his mouth and side, yet I'm sitting on my bed. I can't move. I can't save either of them.
"Get the fuck out of my house, Troy. The one thing I ask of you and you couldn't even do it. Get out." Will stares at me. "You disappoint me. I never thought my sister would betray me. It was always us, Charlotte."
Troy slowly gets up and looks at me. His bloodied mouth is bruising and the anguish in his eyes is killing me. I should get up and hold him. I should care for him.
"I love you," he tells me, holding his side. Even though Will and Carter are in the room, it feels like it's just us. "Say something, please." I can't. "I was going to give you the world. You have to know how much I love you and how long I've been waiting for you. It's just you, Charlotte. I'll give you space, but that doesn't mean I don't love you, because I do. With my whole heart."
Sobs wrack my body and I want to get up and jump in his arms. I want to wipe the blood from his lips and kiss his bruises. I want to ice the side of his body and care for him. He didn't deserve this.
Only, I can't move. I'm frozen on top of my bed.
He looks at me again and walks out of my room, leaving me feeling alone and scared.
Chapter 35
Charlotte
I'm staying with Aubree for the time being. Things with Will aren't good and it's best that I stay away. I haven't reached out to Troy and I'm not sure how he's doing. I have no idea what to say to him.
"Are you going to meet him?" Aubree asks.
"Yeah, I think so." I smile at baby Blaire and blow her kisses. She giggles and it's honestly making things better.
Last night Aubree broke down and told me that Blaire is her baby and not her God-daughter. The father isn't in the picture and she doesn't know how to handle it. She told me he's in town and they haven't seen each other since the last time they slept together. She loves him, but knows he's not ready to be a dad. My heart breaks for her and I want to do anything I can to help her.
"You and Blaire are so loving this morning."
"She's so cute," I gush and give her more kisses. "I'm scared about today." Last night before I went to bed, Shawn's text came in asking to meet. We're meeting today for lunch and I'm a little nervous to see him.
"Don't worry. Now go and stop using my baby to shield yourself."
"Fine."
When I get to Trata I walk in to find Shawn sitting by the hostess stand. He smiles when he sees me and gets up.
"Hey. You made it."
"I did." He's wearing a casual outfit-jeans and a white polo paired with gray sneakers.
The hostess leads us to a booth and hands us menus. I can't look at it right now. I need to talk to Shawn and get this out of the way.
"Why did you send me the letter and box?" I blurt out. Great, this is exactly how I wanted to start the conversation.
"Honestly, I want you back and seeing you feels good. Tell me what's going on, please."
"I do love you, Shawn, just not in that way. We turned back into friends and as much as I respect you, I can't be with you. I appreciate you trying and coming back here. I'd like to be friends and still have you in my life."
"I don't get it. You and Troy?"
"Yeah, I mean things are bad right now because Will just found out. I love him, Shawn, like to the moon and back kind of love."
"I can love you like that. Will wants us together. We spent so many years together. This isn't something I can let go. How can you do this?"
"Because I'm not selfish. I know you love me and I'm going to hold on to our memories. I'm letting you go so you can be happy and I can have a chance to be with the man I love."
"I came all the way here to get you back."
"I know, but it's not going to work out. I don't know what else to say to let you down easy. I'm sorry. So sorry."
"I had to try one more time, Charlotte. All I want is for you to be happy. You deserve all the happiness in the world and if someone else can do that then I commend him. Things in life might seem unfair at times, but everything happens for a reason. We meet people, and our lives change. You changed me and I hope to make someone very happy one day."
"And you deserve that too, Shawn. I want that for you."
"Thank you. So, I know there's more. Talk to me."
I tell him about Troy and the past when we were younger. I tell him about how much I love him, and how badly I hurt the two most important men in my life.
"Here's the thing. Love is never perfect. Sometimes people aren't right for each other in the beginning, but then they are given a second chance and the timing is better."
"Maybe. I guess. I don't know. What am I supposed to do about my brother?"
"Talk to him," he reaches out and holds my hand. "Tell him how you feel and how much you love Troy."
"It's not that easy," I explain. "I couldn't save him from Will. We haven't talked in a few days. Things suck right now."
"Because you have to face the storm and conquer it before you can enjoy the sun."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing in life is perfect. If you don't face these obstacles now, you'll get used to being perfect all the time," he explains. "For every obstacle that comes your way, and for every obstacle you successfully conquer, you and Troy get stronger and can take on anything that comes your way. Remember when I used to want to talk to you?" I nod. "Communication is key to every successful relationship. Sure, sexual desire and the fire is important too, but that may die a little as life progresses. Communication and the need for that doesn't change."
I hear everything he's saying and have to agree. We've conquered so much already and if I can't get over this, then I don't deserve him. I came to Rochester to reunite with my brother and get the man I love. Wallowing in my own self-pity and crying at night isn't going to solve anything. If I don't do something now, then I don't deserve someone as amazing as Troy.
"Thank you for talking to me," I tell Shawn. "I'm glad we can be friends."
"Always here for you, love."
Chapter 36
Troy
Sitting alone in the dark isn't how I pictured my life at this moment. I'm not sure what time it is or what today is. Still wearing my sweatpants and tee-shirt, I fumble for my glass of whiskey and stare at the TV screen, holding my game controller, and not giving a fuck about anything or anyone.
The other night I helped Sal out at a nightclub promotional party for some B-list celebrity performing in downtown. We were security for the night and dealt with fucking assholes who couldn't hold their liquor. Towards the end a fight broke out and some idiot thought punching me in the face would earn him points with whoever he was trying to impress. I smiled when he hit me and took him down to the ground. It felt good hitting him back and getting him down on the ground. Little fucker cried that I was holding onto his wrists too tight. I didn't give a shit and went home to the bottle of whiskey.