"I'm so ready for you," she moans. "Since I saw you, all I could think about was fucking you hard and fast. Put your mouth on me."
I smile and slowly slide down her black thong and toss it aside. Kissing her inner thigh, I lick her clit and all I can think about is Charlotte. This isn't right. I try hard to get her off and let her moans take away thoughts about the one I truly want to be with. Fuck, I'm not even hard and her moans are getting annoying.
"Yes! Yes," she screams and scratches the hell out of my neck. "Meow!" I quickly stop and look up at her.
"Did you just meow?"
"Uh, no."
"I think you did." She gets up and pushes me against the wall and pulls down my pants. Before I can say anything else, she grips my cock in her hands and licks the head.
"Oh, you want in my mouth," she asks and licks again, caressing my balls. "Get hard for me."
"Keep doing that," I tell her. I force myself to think of anything to get me hard and it's just not hard. Imagining Charlotte in a bikini gets me hard in seconds, though.
"There it is," she whispers and covers my cock with her mouth. I hear her sucking and feel teeth against my cock.
"Careful," I tell her. "Fuck."
"Don't you like it rough?" She nips the head of my cock and I'm ready to kick her ass out. This is the worst blow job ever.
I have to stop this before she bites off my dick. Before I can pull myself away I hear a gasp and heels clicking against my marble floor. The door slams and I push her away. Fuck, that was Charlotte.
"Who was that?" Rae asks. "Will never said you had a girlfriend."
"I don't."
"Then, were you expecting a third, because I'm totally down for that."
"I have to get you home," I tell her. "This isn't working out. I'm sorry. I had a nice dinner with you."
Rae glares at me and points her finger to my chest. "Listen, mister. I haven't had sex in a year." I'm not surprised. "So you and I are going to fuck. I want your dick in me now."
"I'm sorry, Rae. Maybe next time." Or never. "I need to take you home."
"Fuck this. You're not a man at all. Waste of time. I'll find my own way home." She walks away and whips out her cell phone. I figured I'll give her some time to get a ride before I go out and look for her. Taking out my phone I send Charlotte a message.
Me: Talk to me.
Charlotte: What for?
Me: I'm sorry you had to see that. It's not what you think.
Charlotte: Really, Troy? I'm pretty sure I know what I saw.
Me: It's not what you think.
Charlotte: Oh, okay. So she tripped and her mouth landed on your dick? Oh wait. She spilled something on you so you had to take down your pants and she thought it would be fun to check out your cock? Please stop me if I'm wrong.
Me: It's not like that please can you come back over and we can talk . . . I kicked her out, so I'm here alone.
She doesn't respond and for a moment I think she'll never talk to me again. When I hear the door open, I quickly head over and see sweet Charlotte standing in my entryway.
I close the space between us. "You scared me. Tonight was stupid. Your brother thought it would be good for me to date and I brought her home."
"And what?" The annoyed tone in her voice is obvious. "What do you want?"
"I want to make sure you're okay. Things have been weird between us and it's my fault. I'm sorry, okay?"
"Whatever. It's not like I want you or anything. We're friends and you can do whatever or whoever you want. We'll never be together."
She's slowly killing me. I need her to understand where I'm coming from. Hearing her words doesn't make it easy. I don't want to feel when it comes to her. She's pushing my walls down and making me see I can't treat her wrong and push her aside.
"Sweet Charlotte. Things are complicated and I don't know where to take what I'm feeling. There are things about me you don't know. I'm not the same guy as before. You deserve better than me."
"You can think that, but I know what I want."
"It can't be me."
"Why?" Her voice rises. "Why, Troy?"
"Because you left without a word," I scream, moving closer to her I see the stance she's talking. She's not backing down. "I wanted you to come clean with Will and not be with Shawn. We had a plan. We made a promise. We could have told Will together. You will never be able to stand up to your brother and because of that we can never be together. I wanted a fucking chance with you. I wanted to fucking make you happy and love you forever."
"I get it," she screams. "You're right, I'll never be able to stand up to Will, but it's not like you took the matter into your own hands. You know how I feel about Will. He gave up his life for me! I don't want to disappoint him."
"So you'll be miserable forever? Is that it?"
"You're not the only one this was hard on." She grabs my face and makes me look at her. "Stop acting like I'm not hurting."
I shake my head and think about Will. I think about our bro code. I think about not wanting love and not giving her what she needs. "I can't give you what you need."
"How do you know?" Her hands rest on my face and I close my eyes, afraid to continue looking at her. "How?"
"Because I don't believe in love. I'm tainted and dark. Sex is sex to me. You don't deserve that. You deserve a knight in shining armor, not the devil or joker."
"You'll never be that to me, Troy," she smiles and leans to softly kiss my lips. "Never."
Slowly moving out of her grasp I look away. "You need to leave, Charlotte."
"Are you serious?" I nod, and don't respond. "You want me out?"
"I do."
"Fine."
Without another word, she leaves me alone in the dark. This is how it should be.
Later on, I get up from the couch and turn off the TV. It's been a long night and all I need is to forget Charlotte and the look on her face when I told her to leave. I need to forget she's the biggest part of my life and the only woman I want. Even though we want things in life, it doesn't mean we deserve to have them. Everyone wants love and to be happy, but when it gets hard, they run because dealing with the hard shit takes too much effort.
Before I get into bed, my phone buzzes in my pocket. I grab my phone to see a text from Jane.
Jane: You need to come to the hospital.
Me: What? Why? Is it Avery??
Jane: It's Charlotte.
Chapter 20
Troy
Running down the hospital hall, I nearly push down a pregnant woman walking with her husband, boyfriend, baby daddy, whatever he is and some old man almost pissed himself when I yelled for him to move.
Finding Jane, I rush over to her and fire questions.
"Calm down," she tells me. "Will's in the room with her now. She was walking out of the grocery store and when she got to her car, someone pushed her and kicked her in the ribs. They stole her car and purse." Jane dries her eyes and clears her throat. "The doctor said she'll be okay. Nothing's broken and no concussion, but she needs to stay overnight just to be sure."
"How did they know to call you?"
"Because I was the last person she was texting. I'm surprised the asshole didn't take her phone."
"Yeah." I look around and turn back to Jane. "Should I go in?" I have the sinking feeling this is my fault. I'm the one that dismissed her and made her leave. If she stayed or if I made sure she made it back to Will's, then this wouldn't have happened. Fuck. This is why she can't be near me. Too much bad shit happens.
"Go see her," Jane urges.
I hesitate, turn to look at her, then head down the corridor to her room. When I walk in, Will's sitting next to her bed, holding her hand, and I hear them talking.
"I'm glad you're okay honey. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I want to find the fucker and beat his ass. Fuck!"
"It's okay, Will. I'm fine. I have to look at the bigger picture. I'm alive."
"Yeah."
"Charlotte." Both heads turn to look at me. Charlotte's eyes soften for a second then she turns ice cold.
"Troy. To what do I owe the pleasure of having you here?"
I ignore her snarky comment and walk in. "I'm sorry this happened to you. I'm going to do whatever it takes to find the asshole and make them pay." Will nods and agrees.
"Will's on it, so don't worry. I won't need your help."
"Don't be like that, Charlotte." She eyes me again and before she answers, I lean down to kiss her forehead. "Let me know if you need anything."
"I'll be fine."
"Sleep well." I kiss her again, shake Will's hand and walk out of the hospital room.
The next morning I'm on a flight to Michigan. My dad called me from Spain and told me that Mom's terribly sick and needs me to come home. Dropping everything and booking the earliest flight out I find myself worried about her, and Charlotte. I think about the last time we talked and what I said to her. It's the truth. I can't give her what she needs. I can't give her the love and tenderness that she wants. The fairy tale in her head is something I'll never be able to give her.