"She could've asked me."
"Well," I shrug and take a seat on the other couch away from Charlotte. "I'm the better trainer, so it makes sense."
Will watches me and nods, accepting my lie. Charlotte comes back with her wine and sits down. The three of us watch Boy Meets World for an hour and then Will decides it's time to head to bed.
"Troy, I'll see you tomorrow."
"Sounds good. Night, man," he grunts out as he leaves the room. He knows full well I wouldn't do anything with him upstairs above us. Plus, the dude's a light sleeper and would wake up to anything he hears.
"A few nights ago I had a date with this guy named Reed I met online." Online? Is she serious? "It was okay."
"I see." I hold in my anger. The caveman inside me roars back to life. Fuck that shit. "Are you going to see him again?"
"I don't know."
"Reed," I repeat his name. "Southern guy?"
I met with him this morning for a workout session and he kept going on and on about a girl he's seeing. Never in a million years would I think these two would meet and get together. Hearing this news is messing with my head. She can't be dating. Fuck.
"Yep."
"He's one of my clients." I see the color in her face turn pale. She looks away from me and focuses on the show. "So did you have a fun time?"
"Do you want to know?"
"We're friends. I want to know what you're doing."
In all honesty, I just want to see where her head is at with Reed and if he's someone serious. I can't imagine her falling for a dork like him.
"The date was fine. He's nice to talk to."
"That's it?" She nods her head and I take that as she's not interested in him at all.
The next morning, Will comes over and we work out. It's too early in the morning and I'm running on about two hours of sleep. All last night my mind went to Charlotte and her sweetness. After running six miles I hit the weights hard. My arms feel like Jell-O and my shoulders hurt, but I push through.
"Relax, man," Will tells me. "Take a break. You're shaking."
"Yeah," I breathe out and take a drink of water. "Tired as fuck. Couldn't sleep last night."
"You look beat up. What's up?"
I shake my head. "Nothing. I don't want girl time right now, Wilma."
"Whatever, man. Your grouchy ass needs ass or else I'm buying you a hooker. How long has it been," he asks, but I dismiss his question.
We work out for a few hours before I head home and jump in the shower. The cold water feels good on my sore body. I'm thinking a massage is in order. Getting out of the shower, I change into sweats and a tee and head downstairs to make lunch. My phone buzzes on the island counter.
Will: Party tonight. Your grouchy ass needs to be around hot females.
Me: Where at?
Will: My place.
Will: Don't be a pussy.
Me: Fine I'll be there.
When I get to Will's house, I'm surprised with how big the party is that he's having. A few women wave and smile at me as I walk through the house to find Will or Carter.
"Troy!" I turn and see Jane calling for me. I smile and go to her, bringing her in for a hug. "Hi."
"Hi beautiful." I kiss the side of her head as we walk outside away from the loud music and crowd. There are some people outside mingling and drinking. Nothing too out of control.
"Thank you again for my meal plan and customized workout. Everything's working out so well and I'm already down five pounds and I can do more dead lifts," she informs me. "I hope you like what I made you! I'll bring it by tomorrow."
"I'll love everything you make me. Be sure to bring little miss Avery over too."
"I will. She misses her Uncle Troy."
"I miss her too."
We talk a little more about Avery and eventually Carter comes out and hands me a bottle of beer. "Not drinking tonight," I ask her.
"DD," she looks at Carter and gives me a kiss. "Gotta make sure you guys are safe."
I look to see if Charlotte's around and check the time. It's almost eleven so she should be home from work.
"Who are you looking for," Jane asks giving me a knowing look.
"No one."
"Lies," she slaps my hand. "Tell me."
"No one," I laugh. "Really. I'm here to relax and spend time with everyone. Excuse me, please." I head back inside and scope out the scene. Will's in the corner talking to some blonde. She's laughing at whatever the hell he's saying. Just then I see Charlotte with Reed. They're laughing while his hand is resting on her knee. I ignore some people as I walk in and see them talking. She's holding a glass of wine and he's drinking a beer. They're close together and the dress she's wearing is too revealing. I'm going to kill him.
Before I can say anything, I remember us talking about being friends. I'm the one who dismissed her and let her go. She's old enough to do whatever she wants, but Reed knows to fucking stay away.
"Troy?" I look up and fuck, she saw me before I could walk away. "Hey! You made it." Charlotte gets up and throws her arms around my waist. I look at Reed and see the huge smile on his face.
"Coach Troy," he gives me a manly one-arm hug and then stands next to Charlotte, taking her hand into his. Fucker.
"What's going on, man," he asks.
"Nothing much, buddy. Just wanted to come hang out and party. How are you both doing tonight?"
"Just fine. I was just telling Charlotte here about Texas and she really wants to go visit."
"I sure do!" She laughs and drinks more of her wine.
I can't focus on anything right now except how he's touching Charlotte and how much she's enjoying herself.
"I'll be back, sweetpea." Sweetpea? Who the fuck?
"Oh, okay. Bye," she giggles in my arms and takes my hand to sit back down. "I had the most hellish day at work. I need to unwind and relax," she smiles and drinks her wine. "When did you get here?"
"A little bit ago. I was outside with Jane and Carter."
"OhmyGod I love Jane. She's so beautiful. I'm so glad I met her."
"Glad you two are friends. So you're still with Reed huh?"
"Yeah. We're spending time together. It's a work in progress, I guess."
"He's not good enough for you, Charlotte."
"I don't care what you think." She glares at me and I have to smile. She's fucking adorable when she's mad like this.
"Well, sweetheart," I lean in closer. "Even though we can't do anything, it doesn't mean I want someone else inside you." Her breath hitches.
"Whatever, Troy," she brushes me off. "You're the one who pushed me away. You can't keep doing this. Reed makes me smile, okay?"
"Let's go for a walk and sit outside." I pull her up before she answers and drag her outside. I love the view right now. Will's backyard is wide open and gives us a chance to sit without being interrupted.
"So what's going on?"
"I wanted to be outside and talk to you."
"Is everything okay?" I nod. "I heard you and Will on the phone a few days ago."
"Work's been getting to me," I start to say. "Sometimes it's hard to talk to Will because he gets his clients so well and I'm struggling."
"Why are you so hard on yourself sometimes?"
"When my clients don't meet their goals and I have to adjust their plans, it worries me." I clear my throat. "I take full responsibility, especially if I know they're telling me the truth and aren't fudging their numbers. Then I really feel bad. I don't want them to fail."
"You're not seeing what I see, Troy. What I've always seen in you."
"What are you talking about?"
"I think you underestimate yourself. You carry this weight on your shoulders and feel the need to make everything and everyone better. You're so special, Troy." Her words are hitting my chest hard. There's a fiery ache and I want to hear her talk more. "To me, you're the world."
"I need to leave," I tell her and swallow hard. Walking out of the house, I head back home and sit outside in my backyard, watching the stars shine off the water. Hanging my head low, I think about Charlotte, and curse myself for not going after her when I had the chance. I'm holding onto her and the feelings. Although, I can't bring myself to be with her, knowing she's here means more. I'd surrender everything to her-heart and soul.
I just can't allow myself to get hurt by her again.
The ghostly remnants of our past lingers. I am who I am today because of my fear that people will leave. I don't give myself fully to anyone. Bringing myself to that level of happiness isn't for me. It'll never be for me.
I'm the devil and she's the pure angel. I can't taint her.
I won't.
I'll live in my own prison torment alone. That's how it should be. That's how it will be.
Chapter 18
Charlotte
It's Saturday night and I'm home alone with my messy bun on top of my head and a radiance peel mask on my face. The bottle says this will brighten, smooth, and hydrate my face. For fifty-five dollars, it better.