Rewriting the Rules(17)

"I don't think so," he tells me and picks up the bill. "Was your dinner good?"

"Yep. Yours?"

"Very. Shoulda gotten the chicken. It was really moist and cooked just right."

"Maybe next time," I smile to be polite.

When everything is all set, Reed takes my hand and walks me out of the  restaurant. The night air feels good on my face. Having two glasses of  wine, I needed the fresh air and being out here is nice.

"I had a good time tonight. I hope you did too, Charlotte."

"Yeah," I lie. "So fun. It was really nice meeting you. Thank you for a wonderful date."

He leans over and kisses me again. This time his tongue gently slides  into my mouth and he holds me tight in his arms. Wow, the way his tongue  moves is . . . wow.

Still no spark. This isn't the type of kiss that means anything. Sure, it's great and erotic, but that's it.

"I was thinking you could come over," he breathlessly tells me. "We can  get to know each other a little more." The devilish look in his eyes is  telling me he wants to get to know more of my body and what I'm hiding  underneath these clothes.

"Not tonight, Reed. I have to work tomorrow morning. It's been a long day."

"It's only ten, though."

"I know and I'm sorry. I have to get to bed. I appreciate the dinner and date. It was nice."

"Oh, okay." He kisses me again. "I'll text you tomorrow."   





 

"Sounds good. Have a good night."

"You too." He watches me as I step into my car and start the ignition.  Pulling out of the parking lot I wave to him one last time and head  home. The drive is quiet. I don't have the music on and all I want is my  bed.

Parking my car, I turn off the ignition and drop my head to the steering  wheel. My emotions are all over the place and I feel overwhelmed with  anger and sadness. I'm not sure why the hell I feel so many emotions.

Why couldn't the date have gone well? I think I can look past the  connection. I know I said looks don't matter, but maybe I can make an  exception. We need more time to get to know each other.

Then Troy comes to mind.

From that first moment, I knew I loved him. With each touch, each look, and every time we were together, it just felt right.

He feels right.

"God," I whisper. "Why can't I forget about you? Let me forget," I beg, hitting my head against the headrest. "Let me forget."





Chapter 15



Troy



I shouldn't be here.

Why do I care so much? I shouldn't care. I've done nothing but push her away and it seems to have worked.

But fuck, it hurts.

And it shouldn't.

I wish there was an off button for emotions when it comes to Charlotte.  The dangerous emotions circulating my heart force their way into the  place I don't want those emotions to be. My hate for her is slowly  dying, and it's being replaced with love and desire. It's ripping me  apart and consuming my every waking and sleeping moment. Everything I  do, doesn't matter if I'm just waking up or working out, my mind is with  her. I curse under my breath and slam my hand against my steering  wheel. I'm relieved she came home alone and I should probably check on  her.

Only, I don't.

I stay in my car for the next hour and make sure everything's alright  and that she's not leaving again tonight. For the past few nights I've  stayed in my car outside the house to make sure she's safe. Call me a  stalker or whatever, but I need to know she's okay.

The desire for her is turning into an obsession. I'm checking her social  media pages and know her schedule pretty well. When she gets to work, I  know and when she leaves, I know. It's fucking pathetic how much effort  I'm putting into her and I can't allow myself to have her. Allowing  myself to feel vulnerable isn't easy. It's exactly what I'm trying not  to do. I'm holding her at arm's length and watching her from afar. Never  again will I have her touch me, kiss me, or show me what it's like to  feel love.

Gripping my steering wheel, I take one last look at the house and head  to Carter's. I know it's late, but fuck, I need someone since I can't  talk to Will about his baby sister.

Parking my car at the end of the driveway I text Carter and am surprised when a text comes back.

Carter: Hey, it's Jane. He's passed out with Avery . . . Come in.



Me: K.



Making my way inside, I see Jane sitting on the stairway. She smiles and  wraps her arm around my waist, guiding me into the kitchen, and making  me sit down. She doesn't say anything as she grabs two mugs and prepares  two cups of tea.

Jane's the best. I talk to her about my issues and she listens, and then tells me I'm an idiot.

Setting the mug in front of me, she stands next to me and doesn't say a  word. A few moments pass and soon I'm pouring out my heart. She listens,  nods, and drinks her tea as I explain what I want, and why I can't have  it, and my realization of wanting her.

"So you want her, right? And you love her?" I nod. "I get that you're  realizing all of this, but you have to possibly accept she's really  moved on."

"I'm back and forth with her. I know I can't be with her, and I have to  let her go, but then there's that other part of me that believes she  came back for me. Every time I want to tell her how I feel, it's  blocked. The words are at the tip of my tongue and nothing comes out."

"You're going to have to do a lot more than just talk. I know you've  been pining for her all these years, Troy. But you also had the chance  to talk to her. I love you, babe, but you're kinda at fault as well."

I sit there and stare into my cup of tea. It doesn't matter how I feel  or what she feels. There are too many obstacles standing in our way. I'm  going to have to figure out how to let her go completely and make her  move on.

"Can I be just friends with her?"

"I think that you can, Troy. You love her so much and you want to be  there for her, so be there for her. You can still love her and still be a  great friend. True love sometimes takes a few chances before it can  settle. Four years ago it wasn't your time and maybe now isn't either.  Love is funny; it's going to take you for a spin and make you believe  there shouldn't be any obstacles. It's not true. The couples that go  through the hard storms always make it out holding hands. Just give it  time."   





 

Finishing my cup of tea, I kiss Jane on her cheek and leave to head  home. I drive down the street to my empty house, and then set the keys  down and walk upstairs. Jane's words play in my head and she's right.  There hasn't been the right time for us and maybe that's because of me,  or her, or possibly both of us. Either way, I'll be her best friend and  hope she'll come to me whenever she needs someone because I need her in  any way I can truly have her and that's as a friend. For now.

The next morning Carter and I meet for breakfast.

"Sorry I didn't see you, man. But I'm glad Jane took care of you. Fuck, you're so fucked."

"Don't remind me," I tell him, cutting into my breakfast and taking a  few bites. "She's the one for me. There's been no one else and no one  has even come close. I love her, man. Jane's right, though. It hasn't  been our time yet, so I'll be her friend. It's the only thing that makes  sense . . ."

"Just be careful. That's his little sister and someone who has been  protected since she was a baby. Now I get it. You love her and want her.  Maybe you should talk to Will and tell him what's up."

"I need to talk to Charlotte first," I tell Carter. "I need to see where her head's at and if she wants me."

"Do that, man. I'm here for you, okay?" I nod and enjoy breakfast while coming up with another plan to get Charlotte.





Chapter 16



Charlotte



I'm in the bathroom shaving my legs when I hear my phone ring. I look at  the name and roll my eyes. Pressing ignore, I put my phone back down  and continue shaving. The water runs in the tub and I carefully pull the  razor up my leg then discard the cream under the running water and  repeat. Being a woman is hard work! We have to make sure we're nice and  hairless on the important areas, which I make a mental note to schedule a  Brazilian wax.

The annoying ring from my phone goes off again and I ignore it without  looking. Stupid asstwat thinking he can be hot and cold with me. I don't  think so, buddy.

Finally finishing, I start getting ready for bed. It's been a long day  and I need to rest my pretty eyes. Drying my face, I put on some  moisturizer and grab my phone to head to bed. My phone rings again and I  roll my eyes when I see it's him.

"What?"

"Is that how you answer your phone?"

Hearing his voice brings me back to the other night when we talked  outside of Will's house. When I came to town I had one thing in mind-to  get Troy and make him mine. As the days go on, I don't think that's  going to happen anymore and I have to move on from my silly fairy tale.  He doesn't want me, and even if he does, he's not showing it. I may be  confident, but I'm still human. A human with feelings and a heart. I've  been through hell and back, never feeling at home until Rochester.