Revelations(55)
For security reasons, he leaves the lights on inside the jail, but they’re low enough so as not to be disturbing to me. Now it is I that pace, along the same path Judas took earlier, at least within this cell. Following in his footsteps, as if by doing so, I can feel myself inside his skin, imagine him to be there with me, for the illusion of him is better than not having him at all. I know he’ll return come morning, and that’s the thought that keeps me going. That and the knowledge of what I must do once my visitor arrives. And I have no doubt he’ll come. With his warped sense of humor, he’ll consider this to be the last temptation of Christ.
He’ll be very surprised by what I have to say.
It’s well past midnight. I’ve not slept at all, continuing to move to and fro, pacing just as Judas did earlier, until I can tell you exactly how many steps it takes to go from one wall to the other, from the back wall to the bars in front. I’ve stopped counting how many journeys I’ve made. I’m on my way to the back wall once more when he’s suddenly there, before me. No grand entrance this time. No fluttering of wings, or elaborate stage presence. It’s simply him. With a sarcastic sneer upon his once angelic face.
“Having fun are we?” He smirks, as I pull back at the last moment to keep from running into him, so sudden is his appearance. “Maybe you should consider trying out for the next Olympics?”
“Perhaps I should,” I reply, because it’s easier to simply agree than to point out I won’t be here for the next Olympics, or any other for some time to come.
He attempts to pull me close to him, his lips closing in on mine. He’s so close I can smell his breath, and although it’s not unpleasant, per se, it holds no attraction for me, as I push him away, push away his obvious intentions. “Do you never give up?”
“Never,” he admits candidly, “and neither does Judas, obviously. But then again, he got what he wanted just by being persistent. Maybe I can, too. What do you think, Jesus?”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to retort he’s a foul loathsome creature, whereas Judas is a beautiful, loving man, and I’d never deign to allow Lucifer such liberties as I’ve permitted with Judas, for with him they are acts of love, mutually explored.
But the words stick in my throat, for to utter them would be to lie, as that’s exactly what I intend to allow. Just one time. But for a price. The price of Judas’ life.
I’ve given the matter great consideration. Within two days, I shall be dead, and this body shall return to the earth from which it came. And my soul shall ascend to my father. The body is nothing, the soul is everything. If by giving myself to Lucifer I can ensure Judas is safe from harm, allowed to live out his life to its fullness, then I shall be happy. Beyond happy.
“I think I do not wish to discuss Judas with you, nor my relationship with him,” I reply evenly, refusing to accept his bait. “Why are you even here? After spending all day hanging around outside, you’d think you’d be tired of the sight of this place, wouldn’t you?”
“You would think that.” He laughs. “But then again, maybe I’ve just been waiting for you, sweet Jesus.”
“For me? What do you mean?” I remove the hand he’s placed against my cheek, and turn away from him in disgust.
“I can smell him on you still.” He comes up behind me, leans down to whisper in my ear, pinioning me with one arm that he wraps about my body. “Do you have any idea how much that turns me on, Jesus? Knowing you and Judas have been together, and how much you hunger for him still? Thinking of the two of you together, so very naked…Mmmm, mmmmm,mmmmm, such a delicious sight that was indeed. Good thing I have the photos to remember it by.” I squirm away from him, for I will not permit this. Not yet. Everything on my terms. Or nothing at all. “Lucifer, I don’t have time for your nonsense, nor your juvenile groping. I have no more time for your games, none of them, do you hear me?”
“I hear you, of course, son of God,” he replies, unperturbed, as he grabs my shoulder, not heeding my words at all, spinning me about so we are face to face once more. He peers into my eyes, staring carefully into them as if he can tell something of what I’m thinking just by staring. Maybe he can. The devil has many tricks, after all.
“I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time, Jesus,” he fairly purrs in a very self-satisfied sort of way. “You’ve decided to do it, haven’t you? To allow me to have you to myself. As I knew you would, all along.” His smile is very irritating, and I bristle, knowing I’m only serving to feed his over-inflated ego, but what help is there for it? None whatsoever, so I hold myself in check and treat it like the business deal it is. Nothing more.