Revelations(37)

They are so insufferably self-righteous and intolerant—and very easily led. Not an independent mind among them. Makes things much easier for me. I do have a function in the scheme of things, you know. Someone has to assure that Jesus ends up as a martyr, otherwise the whole story is ruined. Wouldn’t want that, now would we?

Like taking candy from a baby.

They are both so utterly ridiculous. As if I couldn’t push their every buttons?

As if I did not orchestrate this very thing? That fucking Judas owes me a big one; it’s time he repaid his debt. After two thousand years I got him the thing he wanted most. How very fucking wonderful of me. It’s a shame I’m breaking it up now, too.

How? Oh, did I forget to mention that part? I persuaded the local constabulary that Jesus is a menace to society—a savior by any other name—and they finally obtained an arrest warrant. Standard charges—contributing to the delinquency, lewd and lascivious, a touch of pedophilia for good measure. You know how it goes.

I led them myself, disguised as one of them. They never knew. Very satisfying indeed. We found them stretched out together in all their naked glory by that miserable excuse of a pond they like to hang around. They weren’t hard to miss.

I’d have taken the time to soak in such a lovely sight, but alas, the local fuzz had other ideas.

Judas should thank me for keeping him from being arrested, too, the way he sprang at them. Unarmed, luckily. I grabbed his arms as they arrested Jesus. At least they allowed him the dignity of his robes before they took him away. As he passed close to me, I whispered in his ear, still restraining the struggling Judas, who was doing his damnedest to get arrested, the idiot, “You should’ve done it my way,” before they led him off.

Damn, that miserable Iscariot bit me. He’s too wild for his own good. Too volatile, and too easy to agitate. I should know, I do it on purpose, after all. Before he has a chance to do it again, I render him unconscious in my own inimitable way.

He slumps against me, and I lay him back upon the ground, first kissing him gently.

I can’t say I didn’t consider taking advantage of the situation. After all, how often is it that I find Judas unconscious and pliable? But there is a distinct lack of couth in fucking an unconscious man.

Next time, Judas. It’s only going to get worse for you. It’s written, you know.

And you can’t change Fate.





Chapter Twenty: Jesus


It’s not for myself that I mind, it’s for Jude. I never meant to do this to him, never meant to hurt him. Not like this, not this way. Not any way. Why did it have to be so early, and why tonight of all nights? Everything was perfect, so very perfect. And beautiful. He’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever known, inside and out, despite what the others think of them. They don’t know, they don’t see him the way I do. I realize that’s partially his own fault—he can have a bit of a nasty disposition. I’m also painfully aware of what they’ve done to him—in my name and on my behalf. It’s a mutually antagonistic relationship. I find it hard to blame Judas for not caring for them, nor trusting them, under the circumstances.

Father, I have to tell you something. Something important. Judas has taught me something. He taught me the meaning of love. I’ve never truly understood the word until this night—not in this way. Ours is a love like no other. Is it wrong of me to want time to share this love with him, at least for a little while?

Father, please...to what purpose? Why did I gain him only to lose him so soon?

We had a few more days, didn’t we? A few more days we could’ve spent together?

He looked so lost, struggling against them, and though I tried to tell him not to, he didn’t listen. He was far too irrational to listen. They called him names—called us names. I don’t mind for myself, but it broke my heart to see him like that. I was unable to even touch him one last time, to tell him to be strong for me. For us.

Is there an us? Will there ever be again?

It’s the beginning of the end now, I realize this. I accept this, it is meant to be.

But please, please, please, tell me there was some point to this, for otherwise, I’ve only hurt him even more by showing him that I love him. Is that right? Is that fair to either one of us?



Father, help him, please. Help Judas, please.

I do love him so very much.





Chapter Twenty-One: Mary Magdalene


All right now, can’t panic, mustn’t lose my shit. That won’t help anything, not anything at all. I have to stay calm for Jesus’ sake. He needs us all to be calm, to proceed as we were meant to. Even if the schedule seems to be disrupted.