“You have as much leverage as I do, and I'm not using mine right now.”
“Yes you are.”
“I'm not.”
“You don't see it?”
“Would you rather I not tell you what I need from you?”
Her frustration paused as his words sank in. Then the frustration returned. “No. I would not prefer that.”
“I did misuse your devotion earlier,” he admitted, “and I'm sorry. Maybe I should have gone about it differently. But this right here...” He squeezed tighter. “...this is something I need right now, and I don't consider this using my power against you.” He rubbed his face in her hair, kissing her head again. “I know you're hurting, and you can be mad at me, but I don't believe you really want to be mad all by yourself, so please let me hold you while you tell me how angry you are, and I tell you how sorry I am.”
She huffed. Not because he was making her angry, but because he was making sense. The last thing she wanted was to move away from the most heavenly spot in the world. It would make her feel lonely and empty as well as sad and afraid. She swallowed the bitter taste of defeat. Then she released her aura and moved her hands to her face, catching a flood of tears.
Quin released a heavy sigh when her aura flowed free, and he let her cry in silence for a long time. When her sobs turned to hiccups, he kissed her head and rubbed her back. “I'm sorry it has to be like this, love, and I'm sorry I handled the situation unfairly, but this is our best chance.”
“What about everyone else, Quin? What about their chance?”
“They want us to stay as much as we want to stay, and they're prepared to do whatever they can to make our stay safe. It's what they want, Layla. We're giving them what they want.”
“And possibly taking their lives in return.”
“We're going to do everything we can to keep that from happening.”
“It's unfair.”
“Yes.”
“It's selfish.”
“Yes.”
“And it's all on my shoulders.”
“No,” he disagreed, tightening his hold. “The blame rests on my shoulders. I made it so when I broke your heart.”
Layla wiped her tears and stared at his chest, contemplating that last part. He'd made his demands intending to completely relieve her of guilt while giving her exactly what she wanted but wouldn't take. Damn it. Every bit of his demand was for her sake and her sake alone, even the fierceness with which it had been delivered, which, ultimately, was the fire to her fuse.
Pressing her palms flat against his stomach, she touched her cheek to his heart. “What if I can convince you I could be happy hiding?”
“You can't. I’d know you're lying.”
“I can be happy, Quin. I'll stay just like this all the time, tucked away in my personal heaven until the day I die.”
“No, Layla.”
“You don't believe me?”
“I do believe you're happy when you're in my arms, but I also know how much it would hurt you to leave our family. I saw it, Layla. I felt it. Your spirit was draining away right before my eyes, and I can't let that happen. You're a happy person. That's one of my favorite things about you, and there's no doubt in my mind that if I were to take you away from here, you’d change. I don't want despair changing you. I don't want you to lose the personality traits that make you so special, beautiful and bright.”
She slowly rubbed her face back and forth across his warm chest, trying to find the optimism that had slipped from her grip. “How will we ever succeed, Quin? I don't want to watch everyone die. I don't want to watch you die.”
“I know, love, but we won’t face him without a fighting chance. This isn't about letting Agro find you anymore. This is about us setting him up for a fall. Hopefully his patience will hold out until we can come up with a plan.”
“You still have hope?”
“As long as I have you.”
“I thought you were lacking it.”
“Doing this by ourselves would have been suicide, but we're not alone now.” He hugged her close. Then he pulled her up his body, stroking her moist cheek as he searched her eyes. “Is this okay?”
He'd stolen her forgiveness the moment he touched her, so she nodded her agreement while massaging the tight tendons in his neck and shoulder.
His consoled sigh sent heat across her nose as he kissed it, but his solaced expression didn't last. He closed his eyes, his face flexing as he spoke in a strained voice. “You have to understand something, Layla.” He swallowed and found her stare. “Even though I have hope and we have help, there's a solid chance we'll die when we face Agro.”
A tear slipped from the corner of her eye, and he wiped it away before going on. “I've embraced the odds. They terrify me and weigh heavy on my heart, but unless we resort ourselves to an unfulfilled life far away from here, we're stuck with the possibility of striking out. You've made it clear you’d rather die than give up our life here, so we'll take the chance and let the dice roll, just like you said.”