Resisting Ryder(67)

She thought about taking a drive with him, but she wanted him to be on her turf. She didn’t want to be behind the wheel with him in case he tried anything. He had a bit of a crazy, desperate, lonely look in his eyes. She’d never seen anything like it before, not even in poor, pathetic Hayden.

“We can go into my room,” she said.

He followed her down the hallway to the last door on the right, where they sat down on the edge of the bed. He looked around at the empty, white walls and at her suitcases which were half unpacked and lying open-faced on the bed.

“I just moved in this morning. Like five minutes ago,” Stormy dead-panned. “So, you had something you wanted to say?”

Ryder took a deep breath. “I want to know what happened.”

“Nothing. Everything.”

“Okay, um, I just wanted an explanation from you,” he continued. “I can’t move forward with my life and give up on you until I know what I did wrong.”

Stormy crossed her arms and scooted a little away from him as she looked him square in his gorgeous, hazel eyes. “You did nothing wrong. The issues are with me, not you.”

“I miss you, Stormy,” he said. “Every day when I wake up and you’re not there, it’s so hard. I’m not me anymore. I’m not me without you. There’s this huge, gaping void in my life where you used to be.”

Stormy rolled her eyes.

“Sweet talk me all you want,” she said. “It doesn’t change the facts.”

“What facts?”

“The club life,” she said. “I can’t do it anymore.”

“So here’s the deal,” he said as he looked her in the eyes. He reached for her hand and then quickly withdrew his, realizing it probably wasn’t the best time. “Everything I’ve told you has been the truth. I’m getting out. I’m trying.”

“Hah,” Stormy laughed. “Right. That’s what you say because you know I want to hear it. I know how hard it is to walk away from the only life you’ve known, from all that power and money and influence.”

“No, I’m serious,” he said. His eyes were desperate. “I’m the reason my brother died. If I had never gotten mixed up in Hellfire, he would still be here. I want to change my life. I need to. I can’t do it alone.”

“Why can’t you do it alone? You’ve done everything else alone,” she said.

“Everything changed when I met you. That’s when I knew for sure I wanted out.” He folded his hands nervously in his lap and stared at the ground. “I didn’t expect to fall for you. I didn’t expect to find some sweet, naïve, innocent, genuine young woman. Girls like you don’t usually get mixed up with guys like me or Jett.”

Stormy looked at his face again, which was now twisted painfully. She could tell he was hurting emotionally.

“When I started falling in love with you and asked you to move out west to be with me, I meant it,” he said.

“You were falling in love with me?” Stormy asked. They had never used the L-word before.

“Yeah, couldn’t you tell?” he asked. “I thought it was so obvious.”

Stormy bit her lip as she wanted to inch closer to him, but she held back.

“My brother died and you have nothing,” he said. “If you don’t want to be with me, at least let me take care of you. I can support you. I have to make it up to you somehow. I know he didn’t have a life insurance policy or anything.”

Stormy thought about the four hundred thousand dollars sitting in a bank account. She refused to let him know she knew about it.

“Thanks for the offer,” she said. She stood up and placed her hands on her hips as she looked towards the door way. “I don’t need you to take care of me, Ryder. That’s for coming out here to talk to me though.”

It pained her to turn him away like that, but a small part of her wanted to just move on without him while another small part of her wanted him to fight harder for her.

“S-so, that’s it?” he stammered.

“What did you expect?” Stormy asked, wild-eyed.

“I don’t know, I thought maybe we could start getting back on track,” he said. “I hoped anyway.”

“Ryder, I want to be with you so bad that it hurts!” Stormy screamed at him. “You have no idea what you’ve put me through by loving me. I want to be with you. I want to be with you. I want to pick up exactly where we left off. I just can’t. Not while you’re with Hellfire.”

Ryder hung his head and rubbed his eyes as he fought off tears. Stormy felt crushed. She hated seeing him so hurt, but she couldn’t give in to him.