The church would say yes. She wanted the answer to be no.
Her friends were right. She was the queen of rationalizing.
After she brushed her teeth and washed up, she crawled into bed. She turned off the light and the bars of the cage materialized. Instinctively, she curled into a fetal position. A whimper sounded. Had she cried out? Enough.
She sat up and turned on the bedside lamp. “Better.” She exhaled and lay back down. This time when she closed her eyes, she could picture the men escorting her out of that terrible room and into this fine house.
She smiled thinking about Dirk’s lips on her hand and how tenderly he’d kissed her palm. As much as she wanted to stay awake in case he came in, she couldn’t keep her eyelids open.
A hand rubbing her shoulder woke her. Her pulse raced at the thought it was that terrible guard, but once the lamp on the table registered, her muscles relaxed.
She rolled over to face Dirk. His penetrating gaze turned her mouth dry. Her fogged brain told her she wanted him.
It’s wrong.
She refused to listen. Lying in bed made her realize that this nightmare could return. Those men could steal her once more, and she could really be sold to bad people.
One of Mahatma Gandhi’s quotes flashed in her brain. He said to live as if you were to die tomorrow. That rang so true.
Dirk said nothing as he stroked her arm, his gentle touch soothing. She expected her heart to race being this close to a virile man, but his hooded eyes brought her inner peace. When he ran a knuckle down her cheek and looked deep into her eyes, a powerful urge to kiss him took over.
While she’d made out with quite a few men, and yes, even sucked on their penises, her guilt never allowed her to be intimate. Her last boyfriend had been patient up to a point. Eventually, he told her he couldn’t handle being so close to her and not have sex. Now she understood their frustration.
Something about these men triggered a need deep inside her. It was as if they truly were destined to be together.
She cupped his face. “Thank you.”
His brows furrowed. “For what?”
“For being honest with me about who you really are and for saving me.” She glanced to the bed. “I could go on.” But that wasn’t her nature.
His face took on a whole new dimension—his jaw sagged and his eyes turned a swirling shade of amber and brown. He looked lost or perhaps a man who longed for something.
“I wanted you to know all about us.”
Dirk pulled her close and the hard planes of his chest pressed against her breasts. Her nipples hardened and her vagina dampened as streaks of pleasure rippled through her. Her priest’s stern face appeared, but she shoved it away. Dirk and Clay both said they were destined to be with her and she believed them. Dirk was gentle and good. Never before had her body reacted in such a carnal way. She tried to push the yearning aside but failed.
Freedom wasn’t a guarantee. She’d waited for the right man, and Dirk was the one. Yes, he saved her from something terrible, but she refused to think of her desires exploding because she thought of him as her savior. Perhaps she was telling herself things she wanted to hear, but she believed she deserved a night of guilt free pleasure.
You want a lifetime worth. Admit it.
Elena was the one to lean forward and kiss Dirk. When he didn’t deepen the kiss or press his hips against hers, she broke the connection believing she’d done something wrong. Shifting her gaze away from his face, she leaned back.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
She shrugged. “I guess I’m not very good at this.”
“At what?”
“Kissing.”
“Now there you’re wrong.”
He took her hand and lowered it between them. When he placed her fingers on his hard shaft, her breath caught. Yes, he was wearing soft flannel pajamas, but even through the fabric, his erection filled his pants out well. “Oh.”
“Does this feel like the kiss didn’t affect me?” he asked, his voice low and husky.
“I guess not. I’m not very experienced.”
The right side of his mouth tilted upward. “Most virgins aren’t, but if you’ll let me love you, you might learn to enjoy it.”
She was torn. His words were so contradictory to what she’d been taught. Then again, she’d been told werewolves didn’t exist, so maybe it was time to examine more of her core beliefs.
Desire won, but she’d stop if anything seemed wrong. “What do you want me to do?” Her stomach fluttered in anticipation.
Dirk dragged a knuckle down her cheek. “It’s not a step-by-step procedure. It’s about feeling and moving and doing. Nothing is wrong and everything is right.”