“Shh.” He rested a finger on her lips. “I’m asking because I need to know how to make this good for you. So work with me here. Did you have a crappy boyfriend who was so utterly selfish that he never took the time to notice you weren’t engaged?”
Yes. That one. Oh, God yes. That was exactly it—but she’d never thought about it as if maybe the fault was Paul’s. She’d always assumed the problem was hers, that her lack of experience had been a huge turn-off. “Actually, he said I was boring.”
Good move. In case Fitz wasn’t there yet himself, she could introduce him to the fact that her biggest problem wasn’t that her life lacked excitement but that she did.
He growled so low in his chest that she felt it rumble against hers. “Not now, but sometime later you’re going to give me his name and number. Sounds like lover boy needs a lesson in what it feels like to carry scars around. Except I’m going to make his visible.”
The thought shouldn’t make her grin so wide. But she couldn’t have wiped the smile from her face for any amount of money. Did he have any idea how much that one statement meant to her? How so very amazing it was to have a half-naked, gorgeous man get all protective of her like that?
A good bit of her fear blew away. Fitz wasn’t dangerous, not to her. If anything, he’d been treating her like a delicate piece of china thus far, as if he didn’t want to accidentally break her if he bobbled her the wrong way.
“I get it now,” he said. “You can’t photograph people because you think they’re judging you. You can’t tell me what you want from me for the same reason. But Lilah, surely you can feel what you do to me. How flipping hot I think you are.”
To emphasize the point, he circled his hips against hers, and yes, she could indeed feel how turned on he was. That pretty much clinched things. Fitz was the sweetest, gentlest man she’d ever met. Or probably ever would meet.
“You’re not boring,” he murmured and dipped his head to nuzzle her throat. “And you taste amazing. Change of plans. No talking. Just feeling. If I do something you like, you pick the way you communicate that to me. Deal?”
She nodded. She could do that all day long. But the fact that he wanted to make her feel good—she liked that the most. It was nearly miraculous.
He settled between her legs, rising up on his knees, and lifted the hem of her shirt to kiss the skin along her stomach. His unshaven jaw abraded her flesh and made her jump, but not in a bad way.
“I like that.” That hadn’t been hard.
“Good. There’s more.” He inched her shirt higher, following it with his mouth until he hit her bra. “I’m going to take this off.”
It was half statement and half checking in, and she got a little mushy eyed over that. He was being so careful and patient with her that she could hardly stand it. “You can take off all my clothes. If you want to.”
His grin gave her permission to breathe again. “It would be my genuine pleasure.”
Before she’d scarcely registered him moving, her shirt and bra came off in one motion over her head, and his quick hands got her short skirt off and thrown into the pile. All that remained was her underwear, but he left that in place as if he could read her need to take it in stages. Which she was oddly grateful for.
“You’re beautiful,” he murmured. “Let me show you how much you excite me.”
She braced for his mouth, his touch, something. But instead, he eased back and unbuttoned his jeans. Her mouth went dry. “Is this the part where you’re going to strip for me?”
“Oh, yes. Definitely.” His jeans hit the blanket, and he was utterly, gloriously naked. His thick erection jutted from his body, and as she watched, he stroked himself once. “So hard it hurts. Because of you.”
Molten heat spread through her core.
She couldn’t tear her eyes from his flesh. He was so comfortable with his body, and why wouldn’t he be? He was magnificent, unashamed, sinewy, and so well-defined that she’d have a hard time figuring out where to touch him first. “You’re really gorgeous. You know. Down there.”
His laugh rushed over her skin, sensitizing it. “It’s not just for show, darling. This bad boy is on active duty.”
All at once, reality crashed through this little party. “I um… I’m not on anything, and I don’t have, ah, protection.”
“Got it covered.” He waved it off. “Condoms are the one thing I never leave home without.”
“Then I should tell you that I like looking at you.”
So much that she wished now she’d had the guts to tell him to strip earlier when she’d had her camera. She’d had a feeling he would have, and she’d wanted to capture him at his essence. This was it, no question. His entire body stood at high alert, ready to dive into her the moment she gave the word.