Rescued by a Highlander(60)
“Yes, Alex?”
“Is there anything else you have not told me? I would know everything now, please.”
“Nay.”
“Are you sure?”
“Aye, Alex. They are not things I would ever forget.”
Another minute of silence followed. Alex rested his chin on the top of her head.
“Alex?”
“Aye?”
“Are you going to cancel our betrothal?”
“Nay, Maddie, I am no’ going to cancel our betrothal. But I must ask you something.”
“Anything, Alex.”
“I would see the scars under your breasts. I want no surprises the day of our wedding. I know this is much to ask, but we need to put this behind us.”
Maddie pulled back and gazed at him. He knew this would be hard for her, but he was afraid of the anger that might explode inside him when he saw the marks. Even though he prided himself with his strong control, this wee lass could send every ounce of control he possessed out of his body in a fury. He didn’t want that on their wedding night.
She slowly nodded. She untied the ribbons on her chemise to lower it. Covering her nipples, she held each breast up so Alex viewed each scar. A small angry curved welt sat just above the fold where her breast met her abdomen . He leaned down and kissed each one with tenderness.
Alex breathed a sigh of relief and gave her a gentle kiss.
He could handle this. He stood, tugging her with him. She shivered against him.
“I think it is time we head back, you are cold.” He dressed and helped her into her gown. He grabbed the basket and secured it on his horse. Maddie stood next to her horse when Alex reached over and scooped her up. He settled her on his lap and tied her horse’s reins to his.
“Alex?”
“Hmm?”
“I feel better now. I do not have any more secrets.”
He kissed her forehead before nudging his horse forward. As they moved away from the loch, his men dropped in behind them.
After they dismounted at the keep, they continued hand in hand to the surprise of his clan.
“Alex?”
“Aye?”
“I think I would like to stop at the chapel. I have much I need to be thankful for.” She peeked at Alex and gave him a tentative smile.
“I will go with you, Maddie, I will go with you.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Later that night, Alex made his way silently through the passageway and up the staircase to the battlements. The night sky was tranquil and filled with stars. There was a nice breeze and he preferred the cool fresh air of the night, especially when he was unable to sleep.
It had been such a confusing day with Maddie. His wedding was not far away, and yet his doubts seemed to be increasing. After today, he wondered if it was possible for them to ever have a good physical relationship. He had felt Maddie’s passion, but she had stopped in a flash. It was harder and harder for Alex to control his own needs at the expense of her memories. How could he ever complete the act with someone so fearful? He would never force a woman. Yet he was not interested in a marriage without a physical relationship. He had heard of couples that had done that, after begetting an heir or two they were free to play where they wanted. He knew he could never live in such a relationship.
He wasn’t in love with Maddie, at least, he didn’t think so. Since he hadn’t ever been in love, this was hard to judge. Was he even capable of loving a woman? Love was a confusing emotion, he didn’t really understand it. He was protective of Madeline, but was that love? Although his father’s love for his mother was always evident, he didn’t think he could be the same way. His father had run the clan with an iron fist, but he was gentle when it came to his wife or his daughters. Toughness was what Alex strived for, well, except with wee Jennie. Bordering clans needed to fear him. But was he more like his father than he realized?
Even if he didn’t love Maddie, he certainly desired her. That should be enough for a solid relationship, he hoped. All softness in his arms, her innocent passion fueled his fire, plus her scent alone drove him to distraction. He smiled when he thought of Maddie eating the pastry from his fingers. He had wanted her desperately then. Probably best that she had stopped everything, he may not have been able to control himself from finishing the deed.
Interrupting his thoughts of desire were ideations he didn’t want. He couldn’t forget that he had failed Maddie. He had promised to find Kenneth, but instead had lost him and been unable to find him again. Alex shook his head at the way he had just disappeared. How was that possible? He and his men were exceptional at tracking. Unless the man had met a violent death somewhere, he couldn’t understand how they had been unsuccessful. At times, he had been ruthless with his men in an effort to capture Kenneth. But there was no sign of him anywhere.