Forcing herself to focus on him, the realization finally hit her. There was no yelling, no pacing, no swinging arm to block. He hadn’t even stood, he just continued to stare at her.
“‘Tis all right, Maddie. I will wait until you are ready,” he said quietly.
“I do not understand. What do you mean?” she cried. “Ready for what? What will you do to me?” She swiped at her tears.
“I will help you get past this. When you are ready, I want you to come back and sit with me. I will wait as long as it takes. I will not touch you again until you desire my touch.”
She saw no anger in his face, no condemnation, just a serene control throughout his body. He turned his head and gazed at the fire burning in the hearth.
Maddie gulped. Was it possible? Was he truly calm, not anxious to strike her? She glanced at him again, wanting to convince herself that this man was truly safe. She smoothed her gown in place, played with her hair, tried to rearrange it. Her breathing slowly returned to normal. Perhaps he wanted to help her, to be there for her. She moved over to the window, folded the fur back and peeked out over the moonlit fields. Several minutes passed. I can do this. I would much rather be in his arms than over here by the window alone. He did not hurt me, she reminded herself. She turned enough to watch him over her shoulder. He still had not moved. Collecting her strength, she closed her eyes as she turned, willing herself to trust this man.
She inched over to the hearth and stood in front of him. He sat with his elbows resting on his knees. When she stopped, he picked up his head, leaned back in the chair and studied her.
Her hands tugged at the folds of her gown, the fire in the hearth warming her back as she steeled her reserve. I can do this. She sighed as she realized how much she wanted this. A slow blush crept across her face as her eyes met his.
“I would like to come back now if you will still have me, Alex.” She was sure she saw no threat in his eyes.
“Whenever you are ready, lass.” A soft smile crept across his face.
She eased over to him, and he reached up to her with his hand. She grasped his hand in hers and settled on his lap again, careful not to disturb his bandage.
“Am I hurting your leg, Alex?”
“Nay, lass, you are not hurting me. You are light as a feather. You will not hurt my leg.” He kissed her forehead, brushing the soft tendrils of her hair back. “You have to learn to trust me. I am not like those despicable men. I may get very loud with my bluster, but I will never raise a hand to you in anger. Can you believe me?”
Maddie’s head nodded as she offered him a tentative smile.
“What do you want, Maddie?”
She peered up at him through her lashes. “You, Alex, I want you.”
“Then I am yours. Touch me.” His eyes darkened, imploring her to move.
She touched his rough beard, and then ran her thumb along his lower lip. The way he gazed at her immediately provoked the warmth through her body once more. “Touch me again, Alex. Please?” she whispered.
“I want you to try something, lass. Will you do something for me?” he asked.
She nodded her head.
“Do you trust me not to hurt you?”
She nodded again and chewed on her lower lip.
“Then close your eyes for me. I am going to touch you and if you want me to stop, just ask me.”
She closed her eyes with determination and lifted her chin.
“Maddie, you are so precious to me, do you believe that?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Let me show you how precious you are to me. I am going to touch your ankle, but I will not hurt you.”
She nodded her head, squeezing her eyes shut. Alex’s hand touched her ankle.
“I am going to move my hand up your leg a little.” He moved his fingers up to her calf and rubbed his hand lightly up and down her lower leg. “How does it feel? Does it feel nice? I want my touch to feel nice. Tell me how it feels.”
She let her breath out. She hadn’t even realized she had been holding it. “It feels good, Alex. I like it,” she whispered as she wrapped her hands around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder.
She peeked at him and caught his smile before closing her eyes again. “Good, lass, I am going to move my hand up. Do you still trust me?” He moved his hand up to her knee and caressed the sensitive tissue behind it.
Maddie nodded again. She wiggled in his lap a little. Alex groaned, but continued his touch. Her breath came a little faster. “Yes, Alex, I like it when you touch me.”
He moved his hand up above her knee. “This is the last move I will make, Maddie. I am going a little higher. Do you still trust me?” His hand was nearly at the top of her thigh, but she did not move.