Maddie’s belly collapsed. She stopped eating and fought to keep her porridge down, swallowing the bile the best she could. What could she do now? Her gaze darted around the hall, frantic to find some reason to calm her racing heart.
“What’s wrong?” Brenna asked quietly.
“Oh, Brenna, I told Alex about the rape. He seemed very upset when I told him, but I thought he was upset with me.”
Brenna rubbed Maddie’s arm. “Alex would not be upset with you. He has a strong sense of honor. Our father was very strict about how women were to be treated. You will never see any of my brothers wenching with the castle help. Father didn’t allow it. Acting casual with the servants is unacceptable. They were taught to respect women. Alex is probably furious that Kenneth allowed such a thing to happen. That explains much about his mood this morning. If your rape is what is driving him, they will not return without Kenneth or Niles. I know my brother, when he says something, he means it.” Brenna gave a fierce nod and left the room.
Although anxious about the news imparted by Brenna, Maddie decided to keep busy. The men could be back in a day or in a month. Who knew how long it would take to find Niles or Kenneth? If they made it to Niles’ castle, how big a battle would it be? How many of Alex’s men would be hurt? What if Alex lost and was taken captive or, worse yet, killed? She could not bear to think about losing him now. The thought of anyone being injured because of her was more than her shoulders could carry.
Her feelings toward Alex provided a constant source of confusion. She didn’t understand what possessed her body when he was near. His presence always consumed her. After the little bit of intimacy they shared, she knew she wanted more with Alex. But would she be able to handle her emotions or would her fears interfere with her chance to care about someone? She cringed every time she thought of hitting him in the chest the other night. Why was he tolerating her at all?
He told her last night she belonged with him. Could she possibly hope he felt the same after learning she was no longer a maiden? Would she ever have the luxury of being wrapped in his arms again? She found herself lost in all that was Alex. She remembered his gentleness, the way he touched her, the way his lips tasted. The way he gazed at her made her heart melt. He was honorable and strong and fearsome, yet she did not fear him. She smiled at that irony. Conjuring up his scent, his warmth, his essence, she realized her heart was totally captured by a fierce highlander.
What if her feelings were not reciprocated? She was sure it was too soon for Alex to be in love with her. Maybe someday. Was there a place for her by his side? Could she be happy being his mistress? Would she be able to handle the stigma?
***
Two days later, there was still no word of the men. Maddie forced herself to put one foot in front of the other. Too many questions plagued her. She searched outside for her little ones, hoping to find a few about to occupy her time. As she strolled down the hill, she spotted a small group of children in the middle of the courtyard on the grass. She waved to them and several ran to greet her. Wee Emma was just learning to walk and tried her best to keep up. Maddie hugged the others, then swept by to scoop Emma in her arms.
“Oh, what a big lass you are, Emma! Look at you walking like an expert. I am so proud of you!” Maddie glanced at Emma’s mother who beamed as she looked at her firstborn in Maddie’s arms.
“She has been waiting to show you, my lady. She is quite proud of her new talent.”
“As she should be.” Maddie hugged the little girl and set her down with the others. “What is everyone doing this morning?” she asked as she looked over her little group of darlings.
Jennie came tearing out of the keep, running right at them. “We have been waiting for you, Maddie. We were hoping you would tell us another story.”
“Please, my lady, please!” A loud cacophony of little voices greeted her. How could she refuse them?
Maddie eased herself down to the grassy knoll. “I would be happy to tell you a story, so sit right close to me so you can hear me well.” Emma toddled over and plopped herself in Maddie’s lap.
Several stories later, a low rumbling interrupted her words.
Tommy jumped up, screaming, “They are back! The guardsmen are back! I can’t wait to see my da. My lady, come and look with me.”
Maddie stood and handed wee Emma over to her mother before Tommy grabbed her hand, tugging her toward the staircase to the battlements. When they reached the top, Maddie paused to catch her breath. When she gazed out over the valley, she froze.
Horses, so many she couldn’t count. They filled her vision, moving swiftly toward the castle. Shouts from the clan guardsmen reverberated as they drew near. She saw horses with men, horses without them, she thought she saw some men tied to horses. What had she done?