***
The next few days passed quickly. Maddie discovered she was exhausted. She was surprised at how much she slept, but her energy slowly returned. Brenna fussed over her wounds and continued to apply salve daily. Time brought slow relief, as always.
She spent most of her time near the keep, telling stories to the wee ones. Bairns and toddlers had a way of putting a smile on her face. Their innocence was precious to her. She could forget about her troubles when around them.
Alex was rarely about as he was busy training his men in case of an attack. Maddie had taken to eating her meals in her chamber until she grew more comfortable around the many guardsmen. Now that she was free from the stress of her stepbrother, Maddie’s tears flowed. Crying helped her to put things in the past where they belonged. She sketched drawings she liked to use with her storytelling, and Brenna had found some needlework to help keep her busy. Everyone at the Grant keep treated her wonderfully, including the maids. She ignored the inevitable. Where did she belong?
***
Finally one day after breaking their fast, Brenna convinced Maddie to join her in the garden. Jennie was sent with the servants to pick apples.
“‘Tis peaceful here, Maddie. ‘Tis why I like it here so much.” Brenna grabbed her friend’s hand as they walked toward the small plot of land.
“Aye, Brenna, ‘tis a wonderful place.” Maddie gazed around at the golden flowers at the outside of the garden. Lavender plants filled the air with their fragrance. She picked a flower and wove it into her waves. “You must teach me about plants someday.”
“We can start today. You can help me transplant some of my herbs.” Brenna wore an old gown and had found one for her. Maddie thought it to be unusual for the chatelaine of the keep to get her hands dirty, but Brenna admitted it relieved her stress.
Together, they worked steady at weeding and transplanting. Maddie enjoyed working with the soil, and hoped she would get to see the results of her work someday. After toiling in the sun for a couple of hours, Brenna motioned for Maddie to follow her, “Come join me for some water.” They found a stone bench under a shade tree and shared a drink.
They sat quietly for a few moments, enjoying the sounds of the birds overhead. Maddie found herself staring at the beautiful Grant land. The fall colors were brilliant this time of year. Red leaves were her favorite and some trees were starting to turn.
Maddie sighed and glanced over at her friend. “Do you know what your brother’s plans are for me, Brenna?”
“I am no’ sure what you mean. 'Tis no’ his choice, ‘tis yours to make. What do you want to do?”
“I have no other kin, and I am not interested in marrying, so I do not think there are many choices for me. I cannot impose on you and your family forever. You have done so much for me already. I think maybe it is time to think about entering a convent.”
Brenna leaned over and grabbed her friend’s hands. “A convent? Maddie, what makes you say such a thing? I don’t think you belong in a convent.”
“What other choice do I have, Brenna?” Maddie’s voice cracked as she attempted a smile.
“You can stay with us. We have plenty of room. Mayhap Alex and I can find a nice man for you to marry. Or is it your desire to be in a convent?”
“Nay, I cannot say I have the calling. I would welcome the peacefulness, but it would only suit me if there were children about.” Maddie’s hands played with her skirt.
“Then why no’ find another to be your husband? You are so wonderful with the wee ones. You belong with a room full of bairns!” Brenna moved over on the bench and embraced her. “You have a heart of gold, you deserve a life of happiness. Put your terrible memories behind you.”
“I do love little ones, but I am not sure,” Maddie’s words caught as she struggled to maintain her composure.
“Sure of what, Maddie?” Brenna’s voice softened.
One tear slowly made its way down Maddie’s cheek. She shook her head and put her hands over her face.
“What is it?” Brenna waited patiently before reaching over, hugging her tight.
Maddie slowly lifted her gaze to meet Brenna’s. “I am not sure if I can stand any man’s touch. Niles forced himself on me awhile ago. I am no longer a maiden. Who would have me as I am?”
“Och, Maddie, is that why Kenneth wants you to marry Niles?” Brenna brushed a lock of hair out of Maddie’s eyes.
“Nay, Niles thought he had the rights to my maidenhead since we were betrothed. And when I refused, he took it. It was horrible, and now I do not know if I could stand the marriage bed. That is when I refused Kenneth, after the Comming brutalized me.” Maddie’s composure finally broke as her sobs racked her body. “What am I to do now? Who would have me? How could I function near a man night and day? I am so confused.”