“Good to see you befuddled for a change. Everybody loses control once in awhile.”
Alex stared at his brother. “I do no’ know what you are talking about. I do not lose control. Ever!” He stalked away.
What a liar he was.
He closed his eyes and shook his head.
Nay, he never lied.
CHAPTER TEN
Alex traipsed back toward the keep, his thoughts on a beautiful, golden haired enchantress. He rounded a group of bushes, his thoughts interrupted by Maddie’s laughter. What a wonderful sound! Retracing his steps, he peeked around the bushes and found Madeline on the ground with Jennie, surrounded by weans of various ages. Weaving a tale of fairies in the forest, all were enraptured. Her blue eyes sparkled, delighted with all the little ones. How he wished she would gaze at him with such excitement and warmth.
Poor lass had been through a terrible ordeal, he knew she needed time to heal, both physically and emotionally. In fact, he was amazed she could sit with the wee ones considering her physical condition. He shook his head, realizing what a strong lass she really was. As Madeline continued her story, her gaze found his. She blushed and paused for a moment, then continued her tale.
Madeline’s pulse raced when she caught Alex watching her. She finished her story and waved to him with a smile, but he moved on to the keep. As she glanced at the wee ones around her, she thought how wonderful it would be to have a husband like Alex. She imagined how it would feel to have bairns who belonged to them. As she hugged each of them and promised a story on another day, she sighed and bowed her head. It could never be for her. She could never endure a man’s touch again. That awful night had been a terrifying experience, one that had caused many nightmares. How could she possibly want something like that again in her life? How did other women do it?
Fortunately, she already had her courses after the fateful night with Niles. Alice actually cried tears of happiness when Maddie had bled. Would she be able to tolerate coupling with a man like Alex? Alex was very gentle. Surely he would not be as cruel and harsh as Niles had been. Could she stomach it once to get a husband and a bairn? But then again, how many times did it take to make a bairn? Maybe Brenna knew, even though she was most likely still a maid, she was a healer, and thus, maybe had assisted with the birth of a few bairns. Maybe she had heard talk amongst the women. She would have to find a way to ask Brenna.
Stop your dreaming, it can never be. No, she was going to a convent. She had no choice.
Brenna approached, noticing the worry on Maddie’s face. “Is everything all right, Maddie? There must be something I can do to help you.”
“I am fine, Brenna, there is no need to worry about me. May I assist you with your garden?”
“Mayhap tomorrow, Maddie. I think it is time to change your dressing and put more salve on your back.”
***
Alex leaned over the side of the battlements, his favorite vantage point. He drew a deep breath of the cool night air, hoping to clear his jumbled thoughts. Leaning on his elbows, he shook his head, realizing he was searching for a golden halo in the area beneath him. Of course, Maddie would not be there.
“Alex, may I have a word with you?”
He turned as Brenna approached. “Of course, you know I would do anything for you. What is it?”
“Did you really mean what you said about marrying Maddie?”
Alex sighed as he stood and crossed his arms. “Nay, Brenna, I have too many responsibilities to take the time to marry and I am not ready for it. I don’t know why I spoke of marriage. I doubt Madeline would even consider me, but I am trying to get to know her better. I enjoy having her near me, but she doesn’t return the feeling. Every time I step near the lass, she backs away from me. I try not to frighten her, but it appears I do.”
“You know she has a tender heart. I think she is confused right now. I hope you are not planning to send her away.”
“Nay, I will not allow her leave until the situation is settled between her brother and the Comming. I should not have mentioned marriage, but you know as well as I do how much Robbie and Brodie love to goad me.”
“Aye, they were having their fun as they like to with you. But, ‘tis rare for you to notice a lass, Alex. Mayhap if you tried to woo Madeline slowly, it may work. I think ‘twould be a good match and you know how wonderful she is with bairns. She is a sweet-hearted lass.”
“Aye, that I see. Maddie is just no’ good with me. But I will not give up yet. Has she talked about the Comming at all, Brenna?”
“Nay, when I ask her, she says she is not ready to talk. She needs time.”
“Aye, I know she was in a bad place. I will give her time. She has much to heal.”