Rescued by Love(40)

“Sore? I could come up there and give you a good rubdown.”

“I’m much more relaxed now,” she teased. “But when I get back, I’ll take you up on that.”

“When you get back, I’ll make you feel so good, you’ll never want to leave again.”

Silence filled the airwaves, and he uttered a curse.

“Addy, don’t freak out on me. I’m not trying to tell you what to do. I’m just telling you how much I miss you.”

“I don’t freak out. I…”

He heard her moving around and feared she’d end the call. “You hide, Addy. Don’t hide from us.”

“I’m not,” she said too strongly. He envisioned her beautiful eyes narrowed and wary. “It’s freezing out here. Let me get in my tent. Hold on.” A minute later she said, “That’s better. I had to pull on some sweatpants. Sorry.”

“No worries,” he answered, even though he was worried. She’d gone from sex kitten to sweet girlfriend to clamming up in the blink of an eye. He needed to figure out how to bridge the gap between her need to be independent and his need for more. He’d give anything to be on that frigging mountain so he could look her in the eye and talk this shit out.

Pushing to his feet, he paced the terrace, the silence stretching between them once again. He stared out at the city lights, telling himself to back the fuck off and give her space. He’d waited months to get this far. What was a few more days?

“What are you doing right now?” she asked.

“Thinking about how much you’ve changed my life.”

“I did not. How could I? We’ve only been together a few days.”

Physically yes, but she’d been with him much longer than that. He’d learned a lot about Addy these last few days, most importantly, that when things got serious, she froze like a deer in headlights. He needed her to know how deeply she affected him, but he also knew better than to make her feel trapped.

“Seems like a lot longer. I was just thinking about how I used to hate coming back to the city after being away, and facing the incessant traffic noises and the stench of exhaust and crowds.”

“Then why not stay at your cabin?”

“I stayed at my cabin almost exclusively until the night I met you.” He let that sink in, expecting her to make a sassy remark, and when she didn’t, he said, “I tried to write off my instant attraction—or maybe ‘obsession’ is a better word—as nothing more than you being a hot chick, but once you opened that smart mouth of yours, I was hooked.” He paused again, counting down the seconds before the phone went dead.

“I think I was, too,” she said softly, blowing him away yet again.

A guy could get whiplash trying to keep up with her emotions. “That’s why I stopped staying at my cabin when I was in town. I wanted to be nearby so I didn’t miss out on a chance to see you for drinks or dinner with the hopes of you coming to your senses and accepting one of my propositions.”

“So you stayed in the city just so you wouldn’t miss a chance at having dinner or drinks with me? Why didn’t you ask me out?” she challenged.

“Why didn’t I…?” He laughed. “Are you serious? I offered myself up to you on a silver platter every damn time I saw you. The only way to get you in the same room with me was to ask Duke and Gabriella to meet me somewhere.”

“You set up those get-togethers? I thought that was Duke, and Cash.”

“Hell no. They never know when I’m coming into town. After that first night, which I didn’t set up, I wasn’t about to leave seeing you up to chance. You looked at me like a hungry wolf, but you blew me off at every turn.”

She laughed. “Well, now I only blow you off when we’re naked, so I guess it worked out for the best.”

“Girl, you kill me.”

“Nah. I make you happy and you know it. Speaking of hungry wolves, have you seen pics of Gab and Duke’s honeymoon? She’s been texting me, and the way Duke looks at her…”

“Is not hotter than the way I look at you.”

She was quiet for a moment, and when she spoke, her voice was quiet but confident. “Nothing is hotter than the way you look at me.”

He felt like he’d been given a gift. She was beginning to accept the way he felt about her instead of fighting it. “How are you really holding up, baby? Have you run into any trouble?”

“I’m okay. It’s gorgeous up here, but admittedly a little rougher than I expected. The stream was numbingly cold this morning, so I doubt I’ll be washing my hair much, and I had trouble navigating a few things on my hike this afternoon, but I’m doing fine.”

He began pacing again, homing in on the part of her answer she probably hoped he would ignore. “What kind of trouble?”

“Nothing really. I just got a little turned around and had trouble finding my way back. But I did, and I’m fine, and you don’t have to get all worked up over it.”

Says the woman who gets worked up over words. “Did you use your compass?”

She went silent again.

“Addy, I showed you how to use it for a reason.” There was no hiding the frustration in his voice.

“I’m fine, okay? I’ll take it with me tomorrow. But I found my way back, and that’s what’s important.”

“Yeah, except if you hadn’t made it back I’d never know. No one would, until you’d been out there for days.” He listened to her breathing and knew he was pushing all the wrong buttons again. “How much battery is left on your phone?”

“Forty percent. I meant to pack extra batteries, but I think I left them in the bag beside my couch.”

“Keep it off but with you. If you get lost again, use the Find Me app I put on it. I programmed in Riser’s Ridge. It’ll give you directions back. Okay?”

“You did that?”

Her voice was full of wonder, and he was floored that she wasn’t yelling at him for not trusting her hiking skills or some other bullshit. “Yeah, of course.”

“You didn’t think I could do this, did you?”

Here it comes… “Of course I did, but you can never be too prepared. It’s easy to get lost up there.”

“I’m not sure if I should thank you or be annoyed that you put a safety net around me when I wanted to do this by myself.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose, smiling despite himself. “Do you try to piss me off, or is that a bonus?”

“Piss you off? I’m the one being taken care of.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing. It’s a good thing, Addy. It means I care, so let’s go with thanking me. Jesus, I’m going to start calling you ‘stubborn girl’ instead of ‘sexy girl.’ And make no mistake, you are doing this by yourself. You’re the one on the mountain. When will you learn that accepting help from others doesn’t make you weak? It makes you smart, and since you’re already brilliant, you should be able to understand and deal with it.”

“Fine!” she snapped. “I told you about my father, so cut me some slack.”

He sank down to the grass as clarity dawned on him. “I’m sorry, Addy. You’re right. I should cut you some slack. But maybe you should cut me some slack, too, because this is who I am. Just because you’re miles away doesn’t mean I’ll close my eyes to your safety. I care about you, and I know you care about me, so stop backing off every fucking time I try to be your boyfriend.”

His jaw tightened, and the muscles in his neck followed as silent seconds ticked by. He was sure she’d bitch at him or end the call, but the longer the silence stretched, the more his worries morphed into gut-wrenching guilt. The last thing he wanted to do was to hurt her, and he’d spoken so harshly…

“You still there?”

“Yeah.” Her voice was husky and quiet.

“I’m sorry for getting mad. I just…Fuck, Addy. I care about you, and every time I say that you back off. I get it. I really do. You don’t want to be told what to do. We’ve beaten that horse to death. But I need more or I’m going to lose my mind.”

“I think I pretty much bared my soul to you tonight,” she said more confidently.

“We both did, but I want more than sex with you. I know you’re sexy, but I also know you’re smart, and stubborn, and capable. You are so much more than just sexy, and a big part of having more between us is not worrying that every time I say something like ‘I’ll make you feel so good you’ll never want to leave,’ you’ll clam up on me. And I know now’s not the time to discuss it, because you need to conserve your phone battery for the remainder of your trip, but just think about everything I said, okay?”

“Don’t worry,” she said, not unkindly. “I’m spending most of my time thinking.”

“How can I help you believe that letting me into your life isn’t going to negate who you are or take away your power to be the person you want to be? What do you need from me to get past this?”

“If I had the answers to that, we wouldn’t be having this discussion.”

They were talking in circles and getting nowhere, but at least she seemed to hear him this time. “Right. Listen, I had dinner with a few SAR buddies tonight, and they asked me to teach classes for the next two days. But I can run up a few cell batteries for you in the morning before I head over there.”