Rescued by Love(19)

The minutes ticked by in interminable silence, amping up her anticipation as she waited for him to say more.

“Do you not get it, Addy, or was there something else you were going to say?”

She looked away to break the spell he’d cast, but a soft press of his fingers on her chin brought her eyes back to him. She couldn’t even begin to remember what she was going to say, and that rattled her, too. He’d kidnapped her. Carried her off like he owned her. She should be livid. The woman she knew herself to be would never put up with that. That woman would push to her feet and stomp away, refusing to be manhandled or manipulated in any way. But her eyes found his again, and her resolve to prove her independence lessened, and that brought another rush of emotions. Fear? Discomfort? Excitement? She wasn’t sure, but it was unsettling. She curled her fingers into the sand, willing herself to push through her confusion.

“I’m not going to fall at your feet because you made a grand romantic gesture.” Grand romantic gesture? Geez, she was really going for that goner status.

His jaw went tight again. Did he have to look so hot when he was angry?

“Why are you so stubborn? I didn’t bring you out here to be romantic. Jesus, Addy. That’s not me. Romantic.” He uttered the last word under his breath, like a curse.

“Why, then?” She didn’t mean to raise her voice, but the roller coaster of emotions had taken its toll, and there was no stopping the words flying from her lungs. She pushed to her feet. “I’ll never be a mindless woman you can tell what to do, or fawn over for that matter. You’re barking up the wrong tree. I take what I want and move on. I’ve never hidden that about myself. I’ve got things to do, and no one is going to stop me from doing them.”

Tears of frustration burned in her eyes as he rose beside her, towering over her, and placed his hands on her upper arms, holding her just tight enough to make it clear that he wasn’t going to let go.

“I swear you’re deaf as a doorknob.” The words flew harshly from her lungs, but inside she crumbled a little with each one as she struggled against her lifelong need for independence and her desire to be all in with him.

He stared down at her without saying a word.

“Are you going to say anything, or just hold me hostage?”

“I’m waiting until you’re done ranting.”

“Ranting? That’s an asshole thing to say.”

“Is it?” His stare was brutal. “Because I think an asshole thing to say is more like, ‘Get off your fucking high horse. I have no interest in fawning over you or any other woman.’” He loosened his grip on her arms. “I’d like to see the guy who believes he can tell you what you can and cannot do.”

“You want something, Jake,” she spat. “Maybe it’s not to fawn over me, but it’s something.”

“Yeah. You, Addy. I want you.”

Crumble, crumble, crumble…Crash!

“I told you this earlier and you’re too stubborn to even consider it. I like your pushy, smart-ass ways. God knows I might regret admitting this, but you’re the only woman I’ve felt anything for. Ever. We’re not kids, Addison, and you’re not clueless. We click. We’re good together. I get you. So what is really going on? Why are you fighting it?”

She dropped her eyes, unwilling to allow him to see the emotions he was unearthing inside her, each one stacking up on top of the last, building pressure like a shaken-up soda bottle ready to burst. She closed her eyes for a beat, trying to sort through a response, to figure out how to describe what she felt, when his words finally sank in. You’re the only woman I’ve felt anything for. Ever.

Lifting her chin to meet his gaze, she felt like she was looking at him through new eyes. Gone was the pissed-off alpha who wanted to get his way, replaced with a guy who was pouring out his soul. Guilt pressed in on her along with something far more weighty. If what he’d said was true, then he really did get her.

“What do you mean, I’m the only woman you’ve ever felt anything for?”

“Exactly that,” he said sternly. “I fuck. I take. I get rid of my stress through sex. But never in my life have I wanted more, or cared where the women I’d been with went next—or who they’d been with before me. But I can’t get you out of my frigging mind. When I think of another man’s hands on you I want to tear them apart limb by fucking limb. But it’s more than that. Ever since the day I met you, I’ve thought about you every fricking day, and not just about sex. Although my mind’s an ocean of dirty thoughts where you’re concerned. I tried to lose myself in other women, which I shouldn’t admit, because you can totally use it against me, but it’s true. It didn’t work. You were right there, front and center in my mind. And then you finally take me up on my offer and we connect, Addy. We connect on every level. You joke, you push, you…” He raked a hand through his hair and sighed. “You’re just like me, Addy. You talk dirty. You like it rough and tender. You push boundaries. I get turned on just thinking about kissing you. Kissing you.”

I do, too. She clenched her teeth, disbelief holding her words in.

“And tonight? I wanted to walk you to that party, but not to fawn over you. I wanted to spend that time with you. To walk to the beach and talk like normal people. To get to know you—beyond the sex, beyond the flirting. I wanted to treat you like you deserve to be treated. Like a lady.”

“I’m hardly a lady,” she said too sharply.

“Bullshit. And I fucked that up big time in too many ways to count. But my intentions were solid, Addy. You drive me out of my mind, and that’s…” He released her arms, turned away, and said, “It’s scary as shit.”

Scary? The man who faced the most harrowing rescue missions a person could imagine and refused to acknowledge the meaning of the word danger where his own safety was concerned was scared? Hearing his confession was like being pummeled by waves and sent tumbling over the ocean floor. She was drowning in it, unable to swim to the surface. She sank down to the sand, staring blankly out to sea.

He moved into her line of sight and crouched before her. With the dark sky at his back, he looked even more powerful, more confident and alluring, than ever. His penetrating gaze challenged and enticed her. She’d never looked for her equal in a man, but Jake was just that. Unyielding. Dirty talking. Boundary pushing. He was the epitome of alpha—the leader of the pack. The one to mate with every female. Her stomach twisted at that, but wasn’t that who she was, in the female version? What he’d just said made her believe he didn’t want that anymore. The question was, did she?

The sounds of the sea fell away, and all that was left was the sound of his deep, confident voice. “You know that moment when you hook up with someone and you experience those first few seconds of what the fuck am I doing?”

Swallowing the unexpected shame that came with her answer, she nodded.

“That what-the-hell moment?” he clarified. “It didn’t happen with you.”

They both fell silent. Jake was breathing hard, as if he needed a moment to wrap his mind around what he’d admitted, just as she did.

“So, what did happen?” she asked in a shaky voice.

Jake shook his head, and when he spoke it was low and gravelly, like it was hard for him to admit. “The instant our bodies came together…Damn, Addison, just thinking about it makes my chest—” He banged his fist over his heart with a pained expression. “I remember the warmth of your skin, the way your face fit so perfectly in my hand, like the rest of our bodies. As if we were the only two people on earth who could fit so well together. Everything was different—every thought, every urge.” Taking her hand in his, he said, “I know we’re right for each other, Addy, and I’ll spend every minute we have proving that to you.”

“I’m leaving tomorrow.” I’m leaving tomorrow? That didn’t even come close to a worthy or appropriate response to all he’d revealed, but her head was spinning. And her heart—an organ she’d spent no time considering in the past—was beating so hard she could feel it pulsing in the space between them.

“I know. I wanted to talk to you about that, too.”

“I’m going, Jake.” The knee-jerk response came out too fast for her to stop it.

“I’m not asking you not to go. Jesus, Addy. Give me a chance. I just want to be sure you’re safe when you’re up there. Why is that so frigging bad?”

The frustration in his voice brought a thread of guilt. Another emotion she didn’t have a lot of experience with. She took a moment to gather her I’m-not-changing-for-any-man rebellion and focused on the one thing she had to know.

“Was all that stuff you said true?” The heart she’d never paid any mind to suddenly morphed to glass, fragile and vulnerable, terrifying her even more as she awaited his answer.

His eyes never left hers. “Have you ever known me to lie?”

She shook her head, and an image of him cradling her glass heart formed in her mind. Her own confession vied to be set free, but fear trapped it in her throat.