Like hell it was.
She watched the elderly couple leave before turning to face the man at her side. “Dear god, Simon, what have you done?”
The hand on her back fell away. “And what would you have me say? That you are here to collect your dead brother’s illegitimate child and that you spent three nights in my arms, one of them doing things only a married woman should? Damn it, Claire, you have no maid or companion with you, had that woman decided to pursue the matter then she would have found that out. What else could I say?”
“I won’t let this happen!”
“Too late. Now get into the carriage before your nephew gets frightened over our absence.”
His voice was cold and emotionless and the fingers on her wrist hard.
“No, Simon, I won’t let this happen.” She tried to get his fingers off her wrist, but he just kept on walking and towing her with him.
“It’s done. Now be quiet and get in the carriage.”
“Don’t tell me to be quiet,” Claire snapped at him. She was horrified at what he had just done, especially as he had done it to save her. “I have every right to talk to you about this. You have no wish to marry me, just as I have no wish to marry you.”
He stopped suddenly, spinning her around to face him. “What would you have had me do, Miss Belmont? It was not only your reputation at stake.”
“You should have blamed me. I told you I would probably be retiring from society, anyway. Now it is going to be so much worse. My family will hear about this before I have a chance to clear things up.”
“I have told the earl and countess we are to marry, so we will.”
She had rarely seen that look on Simon’s face. It was closed and emotionless. There was none of the softness she had come to know so well. His eyes were cool grey pools as they looked down at her. He would do this because he was an honorable man, but Claire would not let him. “We could never marry. You would not be happy, nor would I.”
The hands on her arms tightened briefly, and then he released her. “It’s done and there is one area in which we are compatible. The rest will follow.”
“You’re being deliberately vulgar.”
“I’m being honest. Believe me, it is a lot more than many marriages start with. Now get in the carriage.” And that, it seemed, was his final word, because he opened the door and bundled her inside.
Louis was huddled in the corner when they entered. He looked at their hands and noticed they were empty and frowned.
“I promise to get your food soon, Louis–have patience,” Simon stated, patting the boy’s head. The child nodded and then watched Claire take the seat opposite him.
“I will fix this, Simon. I promise,” she said slowly.
“Let it be, Claire.” He sounded so tired suddenly, as if the last few minutes had aged him, and the effort of talking was beyond him. She had done this to him– stepped into his well-ordered life and disrupted it, and only she could change it back. She had to, or she would never be able to live with the consequences.
“I’m so sorry, Simon.”
One big hand rested briefly over hers, and then he knocked on the roof, and soon the carriage was on its way. After getting Louis his food, they traveled until it was dark. The boy slept for a while, his head resting in Claire’s lap, but woke when they stopped at another inn for the night. Simon explained to the proprietor that they were a family and needed lodgings. A supper was brought to their rooms, and after they washed their faces and hands, Simon told her he would see to Merlin and Ben and that she and Louis should sleep on the bed whilst he slept on the floor. Before she could reply, he left the room. With a heavy heart, Claire found Louis’s nightshirt and helped him into it. She then tucked him into bed and sat down beside him.
“Will you sleep now, Louis?” Claire said in French.
“Oui.”
His eyes looked at her, solemn and expressionless, yet she knew he must be scared. How could she soothe those fears? He had been wrenched from everything he had known in his short life–taken to England and left with strangers. Claire could not begin to comprehend how he must feel. “Did you know, Louis, that your papa was my brother?”
He shook his head, but his eyes remained on hers. “He was the very best of men, Louis, and he would have loved you very much.” She pushed the hair back from his forehead. “And you look so much like him. It is as if he is here with me now.”
Claire talked to Louis of Anthony and her family–now his family, she hoped– until his eyes grew heavy, and finally, he slept. He was so small and vulnerable lying in the big bed, and she felt the weight of responsibility upon her. She was all he had now, especially if her brother did not back down from the stand he had taken. She rubbed her chest in a futile attempt to ease the ache inside. He was hers to love, and love him she would, for as long as he needed her. Leaving the bed, Claire then changed into her nightdress and lay down beside him. She left the candle burning for Simon and closed her eyes to rest. There would be no sleep, not with her thoughts so full. She had Louis to think of now, and she also needed to figure out a way to break her engagement to Simon without his reputation being harmed.