Rescued(65)

“I have to know,” I said. “It’s been driving me crazy, especially lately. I’ve been having all these dreams at night, and I’ve been daydreaming about it during the day, and I can barely think about anything else. If there’s any chance he will give me an answer, I have to try.”

He grimaced. “I dunno Lorrie, I really don’t wanna see you get hurt again by this guy. He kinda seems like a psycho.”

“I have to try!” I yelled. “I just have to! If it works, I’ll be free from this. I haven’t been there for you recently as much as I’d like to be, and it’s because I haven’t moved on from what happened to me yet. Don’t you see? Once I get the answers from Marco, I can finally just concentrate on us. On you. And why did the letter come now? Just when we need answers the most? It’s a sign . . . ”

I babbled on while Hunter reached his arm around my waist and hugged me tight to him. I started to push him away, but then stopped. It felt good to be in his arms.

“Lorrie, shh . . . sh . . . it’s okay. It’s okay. Just don’t rush into it. It’s tomorrow right? Just sleep on it and you can decide in the morning.”

I’d gotten myself so worked up I was shaking. “Okay,” I said, trying to stay calm, but my mind was already racing ahead. The end to all of our troubles was close. I could feel it.





Chapter Twenty-six

TOSS AND TURN




The rest of the day drifted by at a snail’s pace. I didn’t tell anyone other than Hunter about the letter. I hadn’t even decided what to do yet and I just knew that if Aunt Caroline found out, she would freak out.

Even though I managed to pretend to be normal the entire day, my mind kept weaving its way back to the letter. Was he really going to tell me if I went? What would he do if I left him waiting?

Hunter kept trying to catch my eye at dinner, but I avoided him and focused on my food the whole time. My aunt and uncle were continuing to try and give me space, so my silence didn’t get commented on. The general feeling in the house was a mixture of awkwardness and tension. Even the kittens seemed to be staying out of sight.

Dinner gave way to innocuous family time with the TV on and Billy and Joel horsing around, blissfully ignorant of any reason things should be any different than they were. Finally, everyone got ready for bed. I said goodnight thinking I would probably want to go to the prison the next day. Even if I was going to leave the final decision for when I woke up, that was how I was leaning.

I changed into pajamas, turned off the lights, and got under my covers.

And tossed.

And turned.

And failed to even begin to drift off. I lay on my back and stared at the ceiling, feeling my heart race. Adrenaline surged through my veins like I was running for my life, but all I was doing was trying to lie still.

Visions of Hunter’s expression as he tried to catch my eye at dinner ran through my mind. He looked worried. We’d been on pins and needles since we’d gotten back from the hospital, and it wasn’t getting better.

It wasn’t our fault. We were both trying hard, Hunter especially. Life was just awkward at the moment because we both had things outside of our relationship that were really weighing on us. Hunter’s problems were way more immediate than mine and they weren’t going anywhere. If I could just shed my obsession with Marco, I could focus more completely on Hunter.

I turned over onto my side and buried my face in my pillow. Tears emerged from my eyes and wet the pillowcase before they even had a chance to roll down my cheeks. Frustration welled up in my chest. I breathed in and out heavily, trying to calm down. What choice did I have? I had to take a chance on getting rid of this voice in my head asking why. Why?

Why?

When I rolled onto my back, I felt wide awake. Dawn was cracking through my window. Maybe I’d managed to sleep for a while, or maybe it was adrenaline, but I was full of energy.

I sat up in bed. Whatever sleep I’d gotten was all I was going to get. I shrugged my covers off, stood up, and flicked the lights on.

Before I knew it, I was getting ready to go. It was time to face this.

I thought about whether to tell Hunter I was leaving. He would probably want to come with me for support, but I wasn’t sure I really wanted him with me.

Hunter would be as sweet and as supportive as anyone could ask, but for this I really just wanted some space. This was between me and Marco.

I settled on writing a note and leaving it on the kitchen counter. Unless there was some crazy delay, I would be back by lunch. It would be just like I’d slept in. Our problems would be over by that afternoon.

Once the note was written, I headed out.





Chapter Twenty-seven