“I was serious.”
Oh. When he searched her face, she met his gaze with a tiny, encouraging smile.
Problem was, he didn’t quite recognize the hero reflected in her eyes.
She simply didn’t know him, didn’t see his failures.
Then her voice fell, and, as if she could read his mind, she said, “I see how hard you’ve searched for Esme and how much Sierra has appreciated it, and I know you don’t give up easily.”
Her words slid into him, heated him softly from the inside. And freed him, just a little, from the knot of worry that had crept in during his trek outside.
No, he didn’t give up easily.
He stretched out his legs, curled his arms around himself. Found words rising to the surface without restraint. “Sometimes, on nights like this, I go right back to that moment when I realized they were going to call off the hunt for my dad, and I think, I should have fought harder. I should have told them he was still alive, that I knew it in my bones.”
She nodded, her eyes looking into his.
He looked away then, not sure why he’d brought this up. Except she was so easy to talk to, just like she’d been a week ago, when she’d kissed him.
This almost felt like a continuation of their conversation. “I should have meant it when I said that if they weren’t going to look for him, then I would,” he said, his voice thick.
“You were a kid.”
“I was eighteen years old. Not a kid.”
“There was a blizzard that night,” she said. “Even the rescuers were afraid to go out.”
“I wasn’t afraid.” But his tone had him clenching his jaw, softening his voice. “They didn’t believe me. And even Pete gave up. But I should have kept searching.”
“And you would have ended up frozen to death too.”
He winced.
“Oh, Sam, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.” Her hand touched his leg. “I say stupid things—it just comes out of me. I do know that finding your dad in the middle of a blizzard, in the dead of night, would have taken a miracle.”
He looked at her hand on his leg. “And that’s exactly what I asked God for.” He gave her a tight, wry smile.
She swallowed, dropped her hand away.
“Aw, don’t worry about it, Willow. I get it. God doesn’t show up for bitter, angry guys like me.” He leaned close to her. “So, I’m counting on you to pull in the miracle card for us.”
She gave him a small smile, shook her head. “Well, then we’re in big trouble, because have you met me? I never seem to make the right decision. I have too much of my mother in me—impulsive. Rash. I don’t think things all the way through. Case in point, today’s hike. Or, how about . . .” She drew in a breath, wrinkled her nose at him, cut her voice to a near whisper. “Well, last week in the hospital.”
With her words, he was transported back to the hospital, and she was back in his embrace, his hands tangled in her soft, silky hair as she kissed him with an ardor that made him feel wanted.
Whole.
He drew in a long breath, looked away, a little unnerved at the memory and what it stirred in him.
“Let’s chalk it up to a moment of weakness for both of us,” he said quietly.
“You’re a nice guy, Sam Brooks,” Willow said softly. “My sister is a lucky woman.”
Oh. Right. Her sister.
“Try and get some shut-eye,” he said then.
“I don’t think I can sleep.” She rubbed her hands up and down her arms. “I’m too cold.”
And then, his brain stopped working just a little because he reached out. “C’mere.”
She frowned at him, almost recoiling. That might have slowed him down, but he saw her shiver, and sorry, but some things were more important.
“No, I mean, turn around. Scoot next to me.”
She shook her head. He actually had to press on her legs, moving them. “You can’t sleep on that side of the van. And we need to keep warm.”
Someone had shoved a backpack into the step-down by the door, and he moved over, directing her next to him.
Then, before she could get too far away, he put his arm around her waist and pulled her against him.
“Oh,” she said.
“To keep away the cold,” he whispered, and indeed warmth sank into him as she leaned against him. He needed her more than he realized.
Just for tonight. Because they had to survive.
“Close your eyes. Get some sleep. I’m not going anywhere without you.”
When she gave a tiny sigh of release, he thought maybe he had a hope of being the guy he saw in Willow’s eyes.
7
WILLOW COULD WAKE UP EVERY DAY right here in Sam’s embrace, his body warm against hers, the twitter of birds cheering them into the day.