Rescue Me(49)

Adam



Anger isn’t even a strong enough word to describe how I am feeling as I lie here and hold Erin.

When Shelby called me frantically and told me what happened, I couldn’t even think straight. I could hardly understand a word she was saying through her screaming and crying. My only concern was to get to Erin as soon as I could. When I finally got to the hospital and saw Erin just lying there and not moving with bruises forming on the side of her face and Joel’s handprints around her neck, I felt like someone had reached inside and pulled my damn heart out.

And then guilt set in as I paced the floor in the waiting room. How could I have been so careless as to leave the garage open when I left this morning? I left the girls completely unprotected. I have been letting Muppet stay with Lucy at Shayne and Luke’s house after she begged to get to play with him more often, and I didn’t even think to bring him home to stand guard. How in the hell I made it through this day is beyond me. If it wasn’t for Luke and Bubba telling me Antonio had already gotten in touch with Big Neil, I would have been out looking for Joel myself.

And having to lie to Sierra about why her mom isn’t home about ripped my heart in half. The only thing I am thankful for is that she has no clue about Joel, and I intend to keep it that way. Who the fuck does he think he is? And how in the hell could any man do this kind of damage to a woman? He better pray like a motherfucker that the cops find him before I do, because if I get my hands on that sick son of a bitch I am going to kill him.

It’s clear that Joel is here for revenge and blames Erin for his drug addiction and for the fact that he has spent the last four years in prison because he got busted dealing. When Antonio told me about the drugs it didn’t surprise me at all. The first thing that came to my mind is, how in the hell I am going to tell Erin about this? She is going to flip out even more. Then Jen showed up at the hospital and sat in the waiting room with me. She’s the one who convinced me to wait to tell Erin about Joel and his habitual cocaine habit.

I leaned my head back against the wall in that waiting room and prayed like I have never prayed before for all kinds of things. I prayed for my girl to come back to me, and I prayed she wouldn’t drift back into her shell, and I prayed that Joel would be found soon. I don’t know shit about drugs as I have never done them, but I know from seeing and hearing things that you’re not the same person when you’re high on that shit. I almost got sick to my stomach just thinking about any of that being around Sierra. Now all I want to do is lock my girls in the house and keep them both safe from the fucked up world.

I hate this fucking hospital. The last time I was here I received the worst news of my entire life. It was the day I lost my mother. I remember it so well. When you lose someone you love, you feel like it’s the end of the world. I would do anything to have my mom here with me right now. I am a grown man who finally found the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with and I can’t even share my happiness with her. Life can be so cruel to the kindest people in this world.

The sound of the door opening takes me out of my memories and when I look up and see Shayne standing in the doorway it’s like a sign coming from my mother that she knew Shayne would be exactly who I need right now.

Slipping my arm carefully from underneath Erin and disconnecting myself from her warm body, I meet Shayne in the doorway and we take a seat in the waiting area just outside of Erin’s room.

“You’re a sight for sore eyes, Shayne, but what in the hell are you doing here so late? It’s after midnight, for Christ’s sake.”

“Adam, you’re my family and neither Luke nor I could sleep, anyway. This is where I need to be. I knew you wouldn’t leave her. You must be going through hell right now and I just didn’t want you to be alone.”

God, what would I do without my Shayne? Even though technically we’re cousins by blood, she is my sister and my best friend.

“You’re the best, you know that, right?” I nudge her shoulder with mine.

“Yeah, I know.” She nudges mine back.

I place my hands on my knees. “I don’t know which is worse for me right now, Shayne. The horror that my girl is lying in that bed with bruises all over her face and that prick’s handprints around her neck, or the undeniable fact that I want to kill him. To top it all off, I feel like it is all my fault this happened.”

“Adam, you can’t blame yourself for this. He would have gotten to her one way or the other. Don’t even think that.” She places her hand on my shoulder. “We all want to find him and we will. We need to stay focused on Erin right now. How is she holding up, anyway?”