“What would a man like Adam Payne see in a woman like you, Erin McIntyre?” I whisper before shaking off my depressing thoughts. “Enough of this pity party. Today isn’t about you and what a shit life you’re living.” I pick up my wine glass and with a few large gulps I have it drained. I take one last look at myself in the mirror and shrug because this is the path I have chosen for myself and there isn’t anyone who can change it except me. I just don’t know if I am brave enough to do anything about it.
I pour a good amount of my favorite lemon-scented bath oil into the tub and adjust the water temperature. Instinctively, I look down to where Adam grabbed my arm, checking for bruises. There are none.
“Of course there aren’t any bruises, Erin,” I chide myself as I look in the mirror. “Not every man is Joel.”
I try closing my eyes as I lean back into the tub to try and diminish the tension taking over my body, but it isn’t working. My mind keeps wandering back to that last time Joel abused me. I knew it was time to leave as I lay curled up on the floor with blood dribbling from my nose, unable to get up even to go comfort my daughter who was screeching at the top of her lungs. Seeing me try to protect Sierra from him had caused something in Joel to snap. He gave me one of the worst beatings I’d ever had to endure as, to my horror, Sierra looked on.
Once he dealt his final blows, he stormed out of the house. I didn’t let out the breath I didn’t even realize I was holding until I heard his car peel out of the driveway. I kept still even after I knew he was gone, running through my routine of mentally cataloging my injuries before trying to get up, when from my position on the floor, I saw my cell phone half hidden underneath the edge of the sofa where it had slid when I’d fallen to the ground. Usually whenever I tried to call for help, Joel would rip the phone off of the wall or leave and take my cell with him, but somehow in his rage, he’d forgotten. I grabbed it, only hesitating slightly before calling my sister Shelby. For Sierra’s sake I had to get us out of the house before Joel came back. Bound and determined, I pulled my aching body off the floor and picked up my daughter. I packed up my car with everything Sierra and I would need and I left that piece of shit. We made our way to Shelby’s place on the other side of town, and I thank God every day that she encouraged me to call the police. I filed my report, then Shelby, Sierra, and I drove to Shayne’s house next door to mine and waited for Joel to come home. I watched from the window as he pulled into our driveway. The cops arrested him and hauled his sorry ass off to jail not only for spousal abuse, but also for drunk driving.
Joel begged and pleaded for me to come back, promising he would change; however, after a month of unsuccessfully trying to convince me to return home, it was he who filed for divorce. The very next week he was moving his new girlfriend in with him. That was four years ago, yet even now, he is the reason why I can’t imagine ever trusting a man again.
Realizing that I have been in the tub long enough, I climb out and proceed to try and make sense of why I am feeling this way all of a sudden. I need to obtain some sort of balance here and pull my mind away from this cluster fuck of a mess my life has become and think about the fact that today the woman who helped save my daughter and me is getting married.
I pile my hair on top of my head in lose curls. As soon as I finish, I apply a light amount of makeup and retrieve my dress from the closet downstairs. With a new attitude, I tell myself I am going to put the past behind me and move on- at least for today.
By the time I arrive at Luke and Shayne’s house, the girls are running all over the place. With my spirits up, I wander around the house with both Lucy and Sierra tagging along, making sure everything is the way Shayne wanted it. Finally, we make our way up the stars to help Shayne get ready and I catch sight of Luke coming out of the bedroom.
“What are you doing in there? You know you’re not supposed to see Mommy before the wedding!” Lucy screeches. Lowering himself down to Lucy’s level, Luke kisses her on the cheek.
“Don’t worry pretty girl. Daddy just needed to get this,” he says, holding up a tie. “Mommy was in the bathroom so I haven’t seen her.”
Lucy crosses her arms over her chest. “Well you better go now Daddy, because we have to help Mommy get all pretty and Sierra and I have to put on our pink dresses and our princess crowns.”
Luke pulls both of the girls in for a hug and then releases them, sending them giggling and running down the hall into the bedroom where Shayne is. Straightening up, he draws me in for a big hug, too.