She put a cautious hand on his back. She felt him tense. “Kal, what do you want me to do to make this right? Don’t you want at least one of your men to leave something behind him, someone who’ll remember him?”
“You can only remember what you know.”
“I’ll keep the child safe-“
“You’ve got a name for him, haven’t you? I know it. You know you’re expecting a boy so you’ll have thought of a name. Mothers do that.”
“Yes. I-“
“Then I don’t want to hear it. If you want my help, I have conditions.”
She knew that. She should have known. Skirata took his paternal role obsessively, and he was a hard man, a mercenary, a man whose whole instinct had been honed to fight and survive since he was a small boy.
“I need your help, Kal’buir”
“Don’t call me that.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You want my help? Then here are my terms. Darman is told he has a son when it’s safe for him to know, not when it suits you. And if that isn’t when the kid’s born, then I name the boy as a Mando ‘ad. Fathers name their sons, so if Dar can do that, then I’ll make sure that he does.”
“So I don’t have any choice.”
“You could skip town to any one of a thousand planets if you wanted to.”
“And you’d find me.”
“Oh yes. I find people. It’s my job.”
“And you’d tell the Jedi Order. You hate me.”
“No, I actually like you, ad’ika. I just despise Jedi. You Force-users never question your right to shape the galaxy. And ordinary people never realize they have the chance to.”
“I think … I think it would be very fitting for Darman’s son to know his heritage.”
“He’ll do more than that. If Darman can’t raise him as a Mando, then I will. I’ve had plenty of practice. Plenty”
Etain was helpless. Her only choice was to run-and she knew that wasn’t fair to anyone, least of all to the baby. It would have confirmed to her that all she wanted was a child, something to cling to and love and be loved by in return, regardless of how she got it.
This had to be for Darman. His son could not grow up an ordinary man. And Etain had no idea how to raise a Mando son. Skirata did. If she refused, she knew exactly how far he would go to get his way.
“How will you cope with a Force-using child?” she asked. “The same way I raised six lads who were so disturbed and damaged by being placed in live-fire battle simulations as toddlers that they never stood a chance of being normal. With a lot of love and patience.”
“You actually want to do this, don’t you?”
“Yes, I do. More than anything. It’s my absolute duty as a Mando ‘ad”
So that was his price. “I can disguise the pregnancy-“
“No, you’re going to have a nice quiet few months under deep cover on Qiilura, with one of Jinart’s people to keep an eye on you. And just watch me make that happen. Then you return with the child, and I raise it here. A grandson. Given my family history, nobody will turn a hair.”
“What will you call him?”
“If Darman is in a position to know when the child’s born, it’ll be his choice. Until then, I’ll keep my ideas to myself.”
“So you agree Darman shouldn’t know yet.”
“If I tell him, or you do, then how is he going to go off to war again and keep his mind on his own safety? He ships out again in a few days. So will you. This isn’t like telling a regular lad that he’s made a girl pregnant, and that can be bad enough. He’s a clone with no rights and no real idea of the real world, and he’s made his Jedi general pregnant. Do I have to draw you a picture?”
Etain had never truly enraged anyone. The Jedi who had raised her and trained her all her life had been far beyond that emotion. They allowed themselves a little impatience or irritation, but never anger. And on Qiilura, when she had the responsibility for four commandos thrust upon her for the first time in a desperate, dangerous mission, Jinart’s anger at her inexperience had been well short of rage.
But Skirata was now drowning in it. She could feel his blind anger and how he was holding it in check. She could see the ashen tone of his face, drained of blood. She could hear the strain in his voice.
“Kal, you of all people should know how much it matters. Your own sons disowned you for putting your clone soldiers before them. You must know what it feels like to risk hatred and contempt to do the right thing for those you love. And why you’d do the same again.”
“If you had been Laseema telling me she was carrying Atin’s child, things would have been very different,” he hissed.