“She’ll believe me over you. You are on her shit list, my friend. I saw into her mind and she does not want you in her life,” I said, hoping to hell the first part was true. The second was a lie. Rachel’s thoughts regarding Antonio were at best, complicated and at worst, intrigued. The fact that I could read them at all without bringing her to the edge of death was confirmation of our bond.
But we just had to get through this mess before I told her. Besides, if we played it right, maybe I was soon to be the last vampire if I had my way. Which would leave only one final bloodsucker for Antonio to kill and no need for Rachel to know anything.
Ivan brushed a hand over my head and I cringed from his touch. “Do not get fond of me, mutt.”
“Too late. You need to feed still?”
I curled tighter around myself. “It can wait.”
“I can smell the hunger on you, Lea. You can’t hide from me.” He put his arms around me and spun me around so I was straddling his lap. I found myself staring right into his eyes. This was not the plan.
“Damn you,” I whispered as he tipped his head back, offering me his throat. I closed my eyes, fighting the urge. With Rachel, there was friendship and a growing trust.
With Ivan, I wanted more than I had the right to ask for. The more I leaned on him...the more I would need him.
“There is a chance I will see your memories,” I said, struggling to find a reason not to feed on him, but instantly regretting that one. I had no plans to drain him—although I was hungry enough I might lose the ability to stop. My attraction to him was stronger than I cared to admit, which left me open to another type of bonding.
“I doubt that. We’re trained to lock them away from vamps for fear of releasing information about our packs. Safe houses. Number of members. Weaknesses.” His chartreuse eyes locked on mine. “You won’t see a thing.”
The smell of his skin and the blood pumping just under it were too much for my hunger. Even though he was healing too, I knew I could take a little from him without weakening him. It would get me through the day, and I could feed again when we stopped after sundown.
I sunk my teeth into his neck without touching him anywhere else, doing my best to keep it clinical and distant.
Ivan was having none of it. He wrapped his arms around me, his hands soft and gentle, urging me closer.
No, this couldn’t happen. I dug my fangs in hard enough to make it hurt, tearing and grinding instead of only puncturing.
“I didn’t know you liked it rough. You’d make a good wolf,” he mumbled as his hands grabbed hold of my ass and jerked me toward him, pressing me against the rather obvious attraction in the front of his pants.
His blood hit my tongue, the first werewolf blood I’d ever taken, and all thoughts of holding back fled.
Now I knew why vamps would seek out the werewolf packs. An ounce of human blood powered me for a few hours, but an ounce of werewolf blood would last days. I took four gulps and pulled back, wiping the back of my hand across my mouth.
“Thanks.”
He grinned at me. “Anytime, but that’s not a proper thank you.” His lips were on mine in a flash, demanding and sweet at the same time, the taste of his blood in my mouth making the kiss that much more pleasurable. I clung to him, wanting it all, knowing it was a bad idea. Knowing also he was strong enough to stand with me.
Knowing he didn’t hate me, didn’t loathe what I was. Unlike Calvin.
Calvin.
His name snapped through me as surely as if I’d been doused with a bucket of ice-cold water. I pulled back, all but scrambling away from Ivan. “I need to rest.”
He tried to kiss me again, but I slid the rest of the way from his lap. I did not want more attachments than I already had. It was bad enough I’d bonded myself to Rachel. I knew that bond would at least be sundered with my death. But to start having feelings for the wolf? I glanced at him, and he grinned at me.
Part of Rachel’s memories surfaced in my mind—a discussion she’d had with Ivan. About his past, about what drove him.
I steeled myself not to feel what I was about to do. “Your wife was beautiful. But I think you need to work on keeping your memories to yourself.”
Ivan paled and his whole body shook. “No.”
I turned away from him. “I warned you. I’m not one of the pansy-ass vamps who stalk your people. They were weak enough to be blocked. I will not be blocked from your mind.”
He slammed me into the floor without warning. I let him, knowing him well enough to know that after the rage faded he would hold his distance from me. He pinned me the same way I’d pinned Antonio, arms to the sides, his mouth next to my neck, teeth bared.