“You wanted that relationship as well, in the beginning. You changed it, and he went along with it. It was never entirely about something as ridiculous as sex,” Sanders told her. She laughed.
“Sandy, there was nothing ridiculous about the sex Jameson and I had,” she snickered. He frowned.
“I shall take your word for it.”
“That's another thing that sucks about this whole situation,” she said, looking back up at the ceiling.
“What?”
“Sex. I think he's kinda ruined me for other men.”
“Good.”
“Stop. How am I supposed to ever have a normal relationship? Hard to do that, when there's only one person I can think about having sex with,” she sighed.
“You could just be having sex with him, problem solved.”
“Sandy.”
“Not everything is about sex, Tatum. The world does not revolve around it.”
“It kinda does.”
“You make it that way. He makes it that way. But it doesn't have to be.”
“It's hard with a person like him. He makes me feel like that's all I'm good for, all I'm worth to him, so I feel guilty, but then it's so good, I can't stop wanting it, so I feel even guiltier. Do you know what I mean? Have you ever had sex like that?” Tate asked, putting her hands behind her head.
“No,” Sanders finally replied after a long pause.
“Well, okay, but like ..., you've had really good sex, and it's basically like that. Imagine the best sex you've ever had, and then imagine that person treating you like trash,” she urged. He was silent for a long time.
“I can't do that.”
“Why?”
“Because I can't.”
It hit her like a lightening bolt. She sat straight upright. Turned her head to face him.
“Sandy ..., are you a virgin!?” she exclaimed. His neck turned bright pink, but he didn't look at her.
“There is nothing wrong with that,” he said quickly.
Oh. My. God.
It made complete sense. If anything, the idea of Sanders having sex was actually weirder than the idea of a twenty year old virgin. But he was right, a large chunk of Tatum's world revolved around sex. She just assumed everyone had done it, including him. Especially him. He was wealthy and he was good looking; those two things alone would make women overlook his personality quirks and social oddities. She had watched women overlook them. Why had Sanders never taken the leap!? Tate was shocked that Jameson hadn't simply hired a hooker and locked the two of them in a room together.
Kinky.
She suddenly felt so guilty. For touching him inappropriately. For parading her body around in front of him, for flaunting her sexuality. God, all the times he had walked in on her and Jameson. She had thought it was funny. She had assumed that none of it was anything he hadn't seen and done before, himself. It must have made him so uncomfortable.
“No, no, of course there's nothing wrong with that,” she agreed quickly. “I'm just surprised, that's all.”
“Why?”
“Just ..., because. I hate to tell you this, Sanders, but you're kinda hot. And the way you spend money -,” Tate started.
“Jameson's money,” Sanders corrected her.
“Doesn't matter to chicks, they love that shit. Sexy guy in an expensive suit dropping money, that's all they see. I just assumed ... I figured ... I mean, Jameson ...,” she stammered. He cleared his throat.
“Jameson hasn't questioned me on the matter. Just because he is promiscuous does not mean I am going to be,” he assured her.
'Going to be'. So he has plans to lose it someday.
“Why have you waited so long?” she pressed, swinging around and sitting cross-legged style, facing him. He still refused to look at her.
“I ..., am uncomfortable. Around people, in general. Women, specifically. I am also a perfectionist. I don't like to rush into things,” he explained. She laughed.
“I guess that's good,” she chuckled.
“I am also strange. I am aware of this, I just don't care. But women do. I don't want it to be an issue, when the time comes. I want it to be ..., perfect,” he told her.
“Awww, that's kinda romantic,” Tate sighed.
“You're wrong. I don't mean perfect as in waiting for true love to come along. I mean perfect as in as soon as I have studied everything on the issue and am confident in my abilities,” Sanders clarified.
Oh my. He's going to study? For losing his virginity?
“You could hire somebody. I mean, I'm not saying that to be rude, just like ..., someone who has done it before, a lot. Someone who knows what they're doing,” she suggested quickly.
“I have thought of this. It is a very viable option.”
Someone who knows the ropes.
“Sandy,” Tate suddenly breathed, pushing herself to the edge of the bed.