Renegade Lady (Renegade Sons MC 1)(67)

I nod.  “Yep.  I only met her once, but they were real close.”
“I can’t believe your old lady’s sister would come here after all this time.”
“Sarah was never my old lady,” I say, trying to figure out the best way to tell her everything.  “She was someone that I was with for a while, but nothing more.”
“Come on, Kidd. Be real. She would’ve been if she hadn’t gotten in that accident.  Everyone knew you were eventually going to brand her.”
I shake my head.  “No, that’s not true.”
I’m not sure how in the hell to tell her the truth.  How do you tell someone that you had just kicked another girl to curb because you wanted to be with them instead?  Then, minutes later, that girl dies in a car accident.  I know the kind of pain and guilt that causes, and I don’t want Jenna feeling it.  “She and I had already ended our shit before she died.”
A confused look crosses her face.  “When?”
“Right before she left the clubhouse.”
I watch as the words sink in, and she realizes I had just got shot of the chick minutes before she was killed.  “Yeah, right before she died.”
She places her hand on my shoulder and takes a step towards me, placing her body flush with mine.  “My God, Kidd.  I’m so sorry.”
“Nothing for you to be sorry about.”
An angry look crosses her face, and she pulls away from me.  “That’s not what you said the night she died.”#p#分页标题#e#
Fuck!  I knew having Krista here was going to lead to this shit. “I was pissed off that night.  Not at you, at myself.  Sarah was a good woman.  I enjoyed my time with her when we were in Mateland, but that all changed when I got back here.”
“Why?”
“I saw you.”
Her body goes tight before she responds.  “I don’t understand.”
If I had been honest with her six years ago, she would.  I guess it’s time to lay it all out for her. “When I went to Mateland, I left a kid behind.  A kid that had me thinking things that didn’t sit well with me, because she was so damn young. But when I got back, that kid had become a woman.  A woman that I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.”
I take a step closer and give it all to her.  “I wanted you so damn bad, but you were only seventeen.  You can’t imagine how hard it was to keep my hands off you.  For some fucked up reason, I thought I could use Sarah until you got old enough for me to claim.  Sarah knew it, and that’s why she hated you so much. It’s also why she turned into a raging bitch when we got here. That Sarah, the woman that you knew, was a Sarah I’d never seen before. What I did to her was shitty, but I told her before we ever left Mateland that I didn’t know how long we would last.”
She watches me closely as I continue laying it out for her.  “The truth is, she had no reason to blame our shit on you.   Yes, I had feelings for you, but that’s not the only reason I got shot of her.  Even if it wasn’t for you, Jenna, just her acting the way she did, I would have scraped her off.”
“Maybe she wouldn’t have acted that way if she hadn’t been jealous,” Jenna says quietly.  
“Maybe, but I’m not sure. There was always something missing about her.  She was really sweet, but she had no fire, never even had an opinion of her own.  I swear she just went with whatever I wanted without question. It was just fuckin’ weird.” I take a second to consider how to explain it the best way, and then I go on.  “When we were in Mateland, Krista came down to visit her.  She was just a kid then, so Sarah didn’t want her around the clubhouse.  They got a hotel room in St. Louis and had a ton of shit planned to do.  Sarah was so excited to get to spend time with her sister, and she wanted me to be part of it.  I drove her down, and we picked Krista up from the airport.  We barely made it to the hotel before I got a call about some shit going down at Mateland.”
I shake my head at the memory.  “I had no choice but to get back to the club house.  Sarah could have stayed with Krista, but instead of spending time with her sister like she had planned on doing, she put the kid on a plane and followed me back to Mateland.  It fuckin’ crushed Krista. She’d only been there for less than an hour.  I felt so damn sorry for the kid, even tried to talk Sarah into staying, but she wouldn’t even consider it.”
“She loved you, Kidd.”