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Renegade Lady (Renegade Sons MC 1)(46)

By:Dawn Martens

I wake up still sprawled across Kidd.  He used to touch me all the time, but that changed after my birthday.  Being in his arms again feels good-- too good.  I carefully pull my head back to look up at him, hoping that he’s sleeping, but he’s not.  He’s wide awake, and his eyes are glued on my face.  
I know I need to say something, but I’m not sure where to begin.  I end up blurting out, “I’m sorry I killed her.”
He gives my waist a squeeze and smiles.  “It happens to the best of us.”
I know he’s trying to tease me, and trying to make me feel better, but I’m not in the mood for that.  I know a shit storm is heading my way, and I need to be prepared.  “She was coming at me with a knife, so it was self-defense.”
He nods.  “Yeah, baby doll.  It was.”
“Do you think I’ll have to go to prison?” I whisper out.
He shakes his head, squeezing me tight.  “Hell no.”
“The police might not believe it was self-defense.  Look at Timber.  The guy he cut was trying to rape one of the girls at the strip club, and they still sent him to prison.”
“Yeah, baby, but Timber sliced him in The Kitty Kat parking lot.  There were people there, and they only saw Timber shooting the guy.  They didn’t see the bastard trying to rape Skittles. Plus, Timber had a record.” He takes a deep breath and continues.  “Skittles was his only witness.  Even though it’s not right, truth is that a stripper who whores herself on the side doesn’t look that great up on the stand.”
What he says is true, but the only people that saw Cary with a knife was Chipper, Kidd, and Reese. All three of which have seen the inside of jail cell more than once.   Plus, Chipper is like a dad to me, Reese is my lover, and Kidd… well Kidd is something that I can’t quite put a label on.  “The cops might not believe you guys about the knife.”
“Cops?” he asks, confusion lacing through his voice.  “The cops ain’t ever gonna know shit about this.”
“You’re not going to tell the police? What about her?  You know, her body and stuff?”  I ask, the word ‘body’ making my stomach ache.
“It’s been taken care of. Everything has.  All you gotta do is keep your mouth shut,” he says, looking determined.  “Just forget this day ever happened.”
I lay my head back on his chest and close my eyes, but the sight of her bleeding out on the floor at my feet flashes through my mind.  “How do you forget something like that?  How do you forget that you killed someone?”
He starts to run his hands through my hair as he answers.  “I’m not sure if you’ll ever forget it, but that pain you got coursing through you will go away.  It just takes time. I want you to remember, though, that she would’ve taken your life if you hadn’t pulled that trigger.  Believe me, I’m glad that you took the bitch down. I’m just sorry that I didn’t do it for you.”
We lay there quietly before he says something that rocks my world.  “I miss you, Jenna. I know I fucked up, but that was a long damn time ago.  Can’t you at least give me a chance to make up for it?”
Before I have an opportunity to respond, someone knocks on the door.  A second later, Chipper sticks his head in.  “How’s my girl?”
I jump from the bed and run to Chipper, wrapping my arms around him. I’m happy that he’s here, but even happier that I didn’t have to tell Kidd how much I missed him too; how all it would take is one kiss and I’d fall right back into his arms. “I’m going to be okay, but I want to go home with you. I don’t want to stay at the clubhouse tonight.”
He looks towards the bed and lifts his chin to Kidd before leading me out of the club.  I never look back at Kidd, and do my best to forget his words.  He may miss me, but he doesn’t love me.  I can never forget that.  
 
Kidd
 
Watching Jenna leave my room with Chipper pisses me way the fuck off. I hate that she has to go through this shit.  I know what it’s like to take someone’s life.  It’s not something you can just get over.  That shit doesn’t hurt; it kills.  I know it’s going to eat at her for a long time, maybe forever.  I knew she needed someone to be there for her, and I jumped on the chance to be that someone.    
It felt nice holding her, even though every one of her tears cut right through me.  Holding her in my arms and having her talk to me without bitchin’ reminded me of what it used to be like between us.  I felt like I was finally getting somewhere with her, finally breaking through that wall that she built around her heart after I royally fucked up.  Then, Chipper walked in. I’m not stupid.  I know she took him showing up as a chance to run, and she did. She ran as fast as she could.