Could I really just leave it at that? Marty had never seen me with anyone before. When I’d dated people in the past, they’d had no contact with my son. Some of them hadn’t even known I had a son. Which was exactly how I’d wanted it. They were never going to get that close to me anyway.
But Max. Max had come in to our lives from such a different direction. How could I have known we would be here today? I hadn’t put up any walls or set any limits. Max had walked right into our lives and wouldn’t leave when I tried to push him out. It was like he had found a hole and plugged it.
FOURTEEN
MY HEART COULDN’T beat any harder if I was running a decathlon. Asking Marty if he minded if I dated his mother—well, was mushy with his mother—had been scary. Not the jump-out-of-the-dark, haunted-house scary, but the real-life, this-shit-matters kind of scary.
Meredith hadn’t responded and was still sitting rigidly next to me. When I’d asked Marty, I hadn’t thought about how she might feel about the question. It burst out of my mouth without thought. I had wanted to know if it bothered him that I cared for his mother.
Care.
That’s a word that covers all kinds of emotions. You care for your great-aunt Gertrude. You care about acquaintances. You care about your family and their well-being.
You also love your family.
“Have you beaten the Master Robot yet?” I cleared my throat and looked at Marty.
“Not yet, but I think I know how.” Marty sat forward in his seat. “There’s a hidden platform.”
“How’d you find it?”
Meredith relaxed a little and leaned back in her seat. I left my arm where it was, not on her shoulders, but encasing the space around her. I was testing the waters without making a big splash. It was time to tread carefully.
“I was trying to reach the alien boomerang, but kept hitting something. I thought I wasn’t doing it right, but then I realized there was something in my way.” Marty waved his hands around in demonstration and I couldn’t fight my smile. “How cool is that? When I grow up I want to make video games so people can find cool stuff.”
“That would be an awesome job.” I nodded my head.
“I thought you wanted to be a dolphin trainer,” Meredith asked. Her voice was amused and she seemed to relax even more into my side.
“I can do both!” Marty held his hands up. “I could make a game with dolphins in it.”
“Calm down, little man. You’re rocking the car.” Meredith laughed.
“But it would be so cool.” Marty sat back in his seat and put his arms down.
“It takes a lot of math to make video games.”
“Ew.” Marty made a face and it was hard not to laugh.
“She’s right,” I told him. “I have a friend that does computer animation and he spends a lot of time working with numbers.”
“Yuck.”
“It’s not that bad,” I assured him.
“I hate numbers.” He frowned.
I couldn’t argue with him about that because I wasn’t fond of math myself. “Cathy is pretty good at math. Maybe you could ask her to help.”
“I don’t know. I really don’t like math. Maybe I’ll just be a dolphin trainer.”
“Pretty sure there’s going to be math in anything you pick,” Meredith warned.
“Well, that stinks.”
Meredith shook her head, but didn’t say anything. If I had to guess, I would say she was still trying to work things out in her head. Whether she was happy or not, I had no real clue. I’d gone and spoken without thinking again.
But I wasn’t sure if I regretted that or not.
If I was going to pursue whatever it was that was between Meredith and me, then I needed to know that it would be okay with her son. I wouldn’t want to make him upset. Well, it was one of the things I needed to know. I also needed to figure out how I would be able to handle her dreams of being in the spotlight. Just the thought of it made me cringe.
As the car pulled up to the Thysmer burial grounds, I climbed out and helped Meredith and then Marty. To my surprise, Marty held on to my hand, his little fingers gripping tightly.
“I have to go help carry the casket.” I squeezed his hand.
“Will you come back and stand with me?”
“I’ll come back and stand with you and your mom as soon as I can.”
He nodded his head and let go of my hand. I looked at Meredith and stood there for a minute. Her face was full of emotions that seemed to swirl from one to the next.
“If that’s okay with you,” I prompted.
“We’d like that.” Her words were quiet, thoughtful. Holding her hand out to Marty, she walked toward where my family stood.