Reluctant Wife(48)

The vet stroked his moustache. ‘Mrs Milroy, horse fractures are very difficult to deal with, as you probably know—they‘re so heavy, so excitable, particularly thoroughbreds, and prone to panic, and by nature, they spend most of their life on their feet.’



‘She’s … you’re not going to have to put her down?’ whispered Roz, her eyes stricken.



‘No. Certainly not at this stage. We have techniques for dealing with this type of fracture and in the case of a valuable filly like this we’ll spare no effort, but—well, even if all else goes well, as a racing proposition …’ He stopped, uncomfortably, then he said, ‘I’ve suggested to Les that we transport her to the surgery where she can get round-the-clock expert supervision.’



‘Yes. Yes …’



‘If only Adam was here!’ Les said intensely. He stared anxiously at Roz.



‘It’s all right, Les. He would agree, I’m sure.’



‘But you…’



‘I’ll be fine,’ she assured him. ‘Just give me a few minutes with her.’



Shortly afterwards she watched the horse ambulance leave the property with Les in attendance; she turned away at last and walked unseeingly past at band of saddened stable hands.



And eventually she found herself in the same private spot where she had sat on the morning after her twenty-first birthday party and decided to try and patch up her marriage with Adam. But now, as she sat surrounded by the familiar smells, all she could think of was a foal that had for a time thought she was its mother, a filly growing strong and beautiful, a mare dying in her arms, her grandfather’s dreams … What was left? A filly still beautiful but hobbling and in pain.



Roz closed her eyes and knew she didn’t care if Nimmitabel never raced so long as she was saved, something was saved.



She sat there until the sun started to slip down and thought finally that Adam must still be out, so she got up and walked towards the house. But Adam was obviously home, because she could hear his voice in the study and guessed he was on the phone. And as she walked through the hall she heard voices in the kitchen—Jeanette and Milly. She’d forgotten Jeanette was due back and hesitated, but then she thought they all probably expected her to be still down at the stables helping with the evening ritual of feeding up as she often did, and perhaps she could escape company for a little longer. So she slipped quietly upstairs and into her bedroom.



Not to know that it was Les on the phone to Adam from the veterinary clinic or that as soon as Adam finished speaking to Les, he rang the stable connection. Nor did she know that in the ensuing search it was Jeanette who thought to check the bedroom but turned away silently from the open doorway and went back downstairs just as quietly to get Adam.



Roz knew none of this as she sat on the end of her bed with her mind terribly blank and the sun started to set.



Then Adam came into the room and closed the door behind him.



Roz looked up at his tall figure, at everything about him that was so beyond her—a big, good-looking, clever man who was so much more than a match for her she couldn’t for the life of her work out why he bothered …



‘I’m all right, she said, and tried to smile. ‘It happens with horses, doesn’t it? It’s always a gamble.’ She swallowed.



‘Yes, Roz.’



‘And they might be able to save her. That’s all l care about. It’s truly awful to see her like this, but …’



‘Roz,’ he said,‘you don’t have to be so brave with me. I know how you must be feeling.’



She took as shuddering breath. ‘I can cope.’



Adam came and sat down next to her and picked up her hand—and finally the tears came.



Adam let her cry, then when it seemed as if she couldn’t stop he held her away from him and said, ‘Roz, don’t. That’s enough. You’ll make yourself sick.’



She took a gulp of air and scrubbed at her face distractedly, but it didn’t help, and he pulled her back into arms with a frown while she clung to him, realising dimly that nothing was going to make her feel better other than to be there, pressed against his body, protected by his arms, loved. . . yes, loved.



A-Adam?’ she faltered. ‘You’ve told me I have to be honest with you, haven’t you‘? She took several sobbing little breaths. ‘I want you … I need you to make love to me now, even if it’s for all the wrong reasons, but you see, I have all these lonely places in my heart and … and,’ her tongue stumbled and she hiccuped, but the tears had slowed at last and she raised drenched blue eyes to his, ‘I don’t know what else to do, any more. It all—everything keeps slipping away from me… Would it be so hard for you?’