Adam reached for the coffee pot. ‘Go on.’
She winced inwardly, then said huskily, ‘Now that I’ve realised how foolish I’ve been, I think I can change. I promise I won’t … well, I’ve thought about it a lot this morning and to hate myself for …’ She coloured and dried up.
‘Hate yourself for enjoying being made love to?’ he offered.
‘Yes,’ she whispered. ‘That’s ridiculous, isn’t it?’
He smiled briefly. ‘Not really. Not in our situation. But I’ve had a better idea,’ he added as she looked at him confusedly. ‘I thought it might be wise if we had a break from each other.’
Roz’s lips parted and her eyes widened.
He waited for a moment, then started to speak, but she broke in, ‘You mean—go away from each other?’
He studied her probingly, then he said, ‘Not precisely. But I’ve got an extremely busy few months coming up, so I’ll be away from home quite a lot and …’
‘You mean—not sleep with each other? Because you’re still angry with me? Is that …’
‘Roz, no, not because of that. I’m not angry with you about anything. But,’ his dark eyes narrowed as they rested on her pale face, ‘perhaps we need time to stand back a bit from each other. Also, you’ll be able to relax and stop worrying about whether you’re getting pregnant.’
‘How …’ her voice seemed to stick in her throat, ‘how many months?’
He shrugged. ‘We don’t have to be too specific, do we?‘
‘But how will you …?’ She blushed vividly and closed her eyes, but her lashes flew up as she heard him laughing softly and she said indignantly and reproachfully, ‘I was only …’
‘Expressing very wifely concern?’ he said with a grin. ‘Don’t worry, I plan to be very busy!’
She stared at him helplessly, totally taken aback by this turn of events, and yet if he’d suggested it last night she might have jumped for joy, mightn’t she? And wouldn’t it be a relief not to have to worry about getting pregnant, just for a little while‘? Only …
‘I don’t know what to say. Do I have a choice?’
‘Not while you’re looking like this, no.’
‘How am I looking?’ she asked bewilderedly.
‘Haunted,’ he said briefly.
‘I … I … I’m fine really,’ she stammered.
‘Well, perhaps this will make you finer,’ he said, and she thought she detected a note of dryness in his voice, but he went on normally, ‘Also, you have Nicky coming to stay for a while from Tuesday, isn’t it? And then there’s Nimmitabel. Les reckons she’ll be ready for her first start fairly soon, so you have an exciting time ahead of you.’
‘Yes. Yes,’ Roz said dazedly. ‘You won’t miss that, will you?’
‘No. Roz—’ he hesitated, ‘about Michael Howard, I’m sorry I broke the news to you like that. I’m not so old that I can’t remember how traumatic one’s first love affair can be.’
She blinked. ‘It wasn’t an affair! I mean, we didn’t …’
‘I know. You proved that yourself, but all the same—’ He shrugged.
Roz looked away. Then she asked, ‘Was your first marriage your first love affair, Adam ‘?’
‘Not quite. But there was plenty of trauma there.’ He smiled faintly. ‘I told you that Louise left me for someone older,’ he stood up, ‘no doubt wiser but particularly, wealthier. Not that it was hard to be wealthier than I was in those days, but he was rather rich.’ ;
‘And now?’ Roz asked.
He looked at her. ‘Now what?’
‘Is he still wealthier?’
‘Not …’ he stopped and looked rueful.
‘Not any longer?’
‘Not at the last count. But I stopped counting a few years back. He might have made a recovery. Roz …’
‘Where are you going?’
‘To work.’
‘But it’s Saturday. I thought you’d be going to the races—I thought we’d be … going to the races.’
Adam looked down at her for what seemed a very long time. Then he came over to her and sat on the edge of the table and picked up her hand. ‘You can’t,’ he said, looking down at her slim fingers and his ruby engagement ring, ‘stay awake for ever, my dear. Nor can you rely on me to help you to sleep for ever. You can do it on your own.’