Reluctant Wife(12)

Certainly, some handy horses, quite a lot of them, but not one you could call an out-and-out champion.



And that’s where I came in, she thought very early in the morning after her birthday party as she sat beside Adam’s training track and his private training establishment with the sound of the voice of his private trainer ringing in her ears as some unfortunate strapper copped a mouthful over some misdemeanour.



‘Life’s really odd sometimes,’ she said softly to herself. ‘If Grandad hadn’t … well, it all goes back a bit further, if my parents hadn’t died and left me to my grandfather to be brought up, who was such a honey but a compulsive gambler … If he hadn’t acquired Nimmitabel’s dam Amanda Belle and got her in foal in extraordinary circumstances to a top-flight stallion … If our stables hadn’t been burnt down, causing Grandad’s death, and leaving me with an orphan foal, a mortgage, so many debts—-well, I wouldn’t be here today, would I?’



No, she thought, I wouldn’t. But I am. I turned my back on Mike, I weighed up all the odds and came to a decision … what else can I do but stick to it?





‘You were up very early, Roz.’



‘Yes, I was, Adam,’ she said patiently as she poured herself some coffee in the breakfast room. It was Saturday, she remembered, but although it was still early, Adam was already dressed for the races in a navy blue suit and a pink shirt with a white collar—although his jacket and blue tie were hung over the back of his chair. She was just about to comment on how early he was ready when he remarked,



‘You said that with a curious air of resignation, Roz.’



‘Did I?‘ She blinked and cast her mind back. ‘Oh, um … maybe because you’re the third person to mention it to me. Both Milly and Jeanette have just remarked on it. Fourth—Les was surprised too.’



‘I see.’ He held her gaze levelly and she wondered if there was something wrong with her appearance—she wore blue jeans, boots and a yellow and blue checked shirt and had tied her hair back loosely with a ribbon. But then he turned his attention back to his breakfast and said, reaching for the butter, ‘So you were not trying to humour me?’



‘Humour you ?’



‘Like a good little wife? If you recall we … er … had words last night.’ He looked up briefly, his eyes glinting.



Roz swallowed a very hot mouthful of coffee and spluttered slightly. ‘I recall,’ she said when she was able to.



‘Or perhaps you’re waiting for me to humour you, Roz?’ he said politely, and started to eat.



She watched and battled a tide of helplessness, wondering what had ever made her think she was a match for Adam Milroy in any way, but particularly in this dangerous mood. Yet only a short while ago she had made a decision to try and get their relationship back on its old footing, after fruitlessly pondering why she had allowed it to slip out of gear, so to speak, why she had allowed herself to be trapped into displaying such emotion. The only answer she had been able to come up with was that Jeanette’s words the night before had somehow triggered everything that had happened since.



And she wondered, as she watched him eat his breakfast with the kind of precision he did most things, whether he still expected an answer from her.



Then his lashes lifted abruptly and he said, ‘Well?’



She looked away and said barely audibly, ‘No. I wasn’t waiting for that.’



‘I take it you didn’t sleep very well last night.’



Roz licked her lips and looked back at him, her deep blue eyes shadowed themselves apart from the tell-tale faintly blue shadows beneath them, and a little spurt of bravado overcame her. ‘Did you?’



Their gazes locked and held. ‘No,’ Adam said at last, then, ‘Roz, if you’re picturing yourself as barren, infertile or whatever you like to call it, you could be quite wrong. The reason you haven’t become pregnant yet might be something as simple as extreme tension——no, don’t look like that. It is a possibility.’



‘I know, the doctor mentioned that, but two years,’ she shrugged, ‘seems a long time, and I wasn’t always …’ She stopped and bit her lip.



He studied her. ‘If you could forget all about it, it might help.’



‘Oh, Adam,’ she sighed wearily, ‘it’s easy for you to say that and I do try not to dwell on it but …’ She stopped and took a breath, thinking suddenly, this is the opening I need. ‘Actually I wanted to talk to you about that—well, what happened last night, the things I said and so on. I don’t—’ she paused and trembled inwardly but forced herself to go on, ‘I don’t really know why it all boiled up like that, but maybe,’ she tried to smile, ‘it was for the best. Perhaps I got it all out of my system, and anyway, you knew it was there bothering me, didn’t you ? You said …’ She broke off awkwardly.