“Had you left her alone, he would have continued hurting her.”
“Instead, he hurt you.” My eyes met hers, my chest tightening with regret.
“You couldn’t have known. You can’t blame yourself for what others have done.”
“You blamed me.”
“I blamed everyone. It didn’t seem like I ever had a chance.” We stared off in silence for a moment as I thought that over. Were we all just victims of fate, an unstable force?
“How did she do it? The papers didn’t go into detail.”
“Ella.” I shook my head, my voice strained from the sudden flash of crimson that circled her body. “She slit her wrists.”
“In the middle of the woods? She brought a knife all the way out here? Why wouldn’t she go to your place?”
“This was our place. She texted me, but my parents had taken my phone because of all the trouble I’d gotten into. The knife…the knife was my father’s.”
She looked at me with confusion as I ran my hand over my hair and blew out a heavy breath. “I kept it here. It was one of the few things I had of his. When my stepdad moved in, he took over the house. It felt like my dad never existed. I didn’t want it to become his. It was mine.” My eyes darted to the old oak tree, with the large crescent hole at its base. “My box.” I pushed to my feet and bent down to reach inside the hole, my fingers landing on the small, tin, pencil case my mother had gotten me from a yard sale. I pulled it out, staring down in disbelief at the rusted container in my hand.
Ella pushed to her feet and was now at my side, dusting the dirt from the back of her legs as she watched me. My heart was pounding in my chest as I opened the small box, forgotten for years.
Inside were a few trinkets from our secret relationship. A hair tie with a small purple flower. I remembered the day she pulled it from her hair, smiling as I ran my fingers through it. Another was a Polaroid picture we had taken together, her lips pressed against my cheek. Under the picture was a note, folded into a triangle.
Ella took the box from my hand as I stared down at the paper.
“What is it?”
“I have no idea.” Shaking my head, I slowly began to unfold the note. My eyes danced over the blue ink, immediately recognizing Katie’s handwriting.
Ry,
I know you’re probably really mad. You’re the last person I ever wanted to hurt. I tried so hard to keep what was happening a secret. I was so scared I’d lose you or get sent away. Mom and Coach came home early and caught Bryce trying to hurt me. I thought it was all over. I thought I could finally not be scared.
Bryce told them it was all my fault because I kept coming on to him. I told them everything, but they didn’t believe me.
Coach told me that if I said a word to anyone, he would tell the school I was a whore and I was sleeping with you. He said he would tell everyone you were jealous of his son and trying to ruin his chance at a scholarship. I can’t let them hurt you, and I can’t let them hurt me anymore.
My mother called my dad and told him they were sending me to live with him because I wouldn’t leave Bryce alone. My father said he didn’t want me, and I was her problem. I don’t want to be anyone’s problem anymore.
I love you
Katie
I crumbled the paper in my fist as I thought over what I’d just discovered. Katie thought I’d be better off without her. She was all alone and thought I was ignoring her when she needed me most. Worse, her own parents betrayed her. I had the proof all these years and didn’t know it.
“What? What did it say?”
Turning to Ella, seeing her eyes pleading with me for answers, I struggled to contain myself. “My to-do list just got longer.”
Her eyebrows furrowed as she waited for answers, but I couldn’t find the words to tell this girl that she had been betrayed by those who took her in and promised her a safe haven.
“Ella, everything I touch turns to shit.” I turned away from her, wondering what would have happened had I discovered this note after Katie died. Everything would have been different. Ella had a shot at a normal childhood after being abandoned by her real parents. Poison. I destroyed everything. I was a plague. Now I had pulled Ella into my world, and there was no way she would walk out of this unscathed.
I’d never be able to stop. Every layer of the story uncovered more deception and pain. I had to walk away from Katie in this very spot, and I didn’t know if I would survive walking away from Ella too.
Her fingers wrapped around my bicep, turning me to face her. “What did it say? What did she tell you?”
My throat was dry, my heart crushed, but I faked a smile, slipping the mask back into place. “She told me good-bye. She said she loved me.”