* *
“He raped you.”
“More times than I can count.”
Ryder crossed the garage and sank down in front of me, his hands on my knees. Raising his hand slowly, he wiped away a tear with the pad of his thumb. His other hand gripped me tightly as he struggled to keep his composure.
“The last time”—I cleared my throat and shifted in my seat—“I woke up in a hospital, cuts all over my stomach and thighs. I didn’t even recognize myself in a mirror for weeks.”
His grip tightened on my knee, and I placed my palm over it, causing him to relax immediately.
“I was wrong.” He pushed to his feet faster than before and paced the floor as he plotted. “I need to kill him, Ella.” He stopped in front of me again and dipped down to eye level. “I have to make him suffer.”
I swallowed hard, knowing my opinion could sway him, but I didn’t have the strength to stop him, because what was right was to make Bryce pay for the abuse I’d endured.
“He deserves it.” I paused between each word, making sure to annunciate them clearly, so he understood we were on the same page.
“Tell me, Ella.” His eyes searched mine, excited, as if I had told a child he could open his Christmas presents early. “Tell me you want me to kill him.”
“I want you to kill him.”
Sliding his hand into my hair, he pulled me toward him, pressing his lips hard against mine. The bond we shared ran deeper than secrets. If I was the butterfly, he was the storm, the justice that would wash away my past so I could start again. We’d finish this together, heal each other.
Sanctuary
Chapter 29—Rellik
Sanctuary: a place of refuge or safety
“I want to take you somewhere.” I stood, taking her hand and pulling her to her feet before motioning toward the car.
I needed Ella to see that I wasn’t anything like her father, needed her to understand what brought us both to this point.
I drove us to the one place I swore I’d never go again.
It felt like I had never left that small wooded area where I ran for sanctuary and eventually found immeasurable heartbreak. The area looked like she had never stepped foot there, never whispered her secrets to me, never took her last breath among its roots. The blood had long ago been absorbed into the earth, and she was now a part of this place. If I closed my eyes, I swore I could almost feel my heart start to quicken, like it had when we were together.
I fell to my knees, the damp grass soaking through my jeans. Could one really get closure if he didn’t want to forget?
The rustling of footsteps jarred me from my morbid memories.
“Is this where it happened?” I glanced over my shoulder at Ella before looking back to the ground, struggling to convince myself that she was real, that life had given Katie back to me.
“This is it. This is where I fell in love.”
“Tell me what happened.”
I closed my eyes, not knowing where to begin. “I don’t like to talk about it.”
Ella placed her hand on my shoulder, her thumb gently gliding back and forth against my shirt. “I want to understand what happened to me, and I can’t without her story.”
“If you’re looking for a reason, something that could have been changed, you’re just going to drive yourself crazy.”
“I just need to understand.”
I swallowed hard, my throat dry as I struggled to come up with the words, to allow myself to slip wholly into the memories that tortured me. “Katie was there for me when I lost my father. She had no reason to be, and had she not shown me kindness, she’d still be alive.”
Ella sank down beside me and crossed her legs in front of her as I continued to stare off at the trees, letting my vision blur.
“We would come here, sneak out to see each other whenever we could.”
“Why did you sneak around?”
Shrugging, I picked up a leaf and began to pull it apart, separating the veins. “After my dad died, I kind of lost it for a while. I got in a lot of fights. Katie was the only person who could calm me down.”
“She was good for you.”
“I was bad for her.” Shaking my head, I sank back on my heels as I breathed in the smell of the trees.
“How long were you together?”
“Four years. We were sixteen when she…” I let my words die in my throat. “Katie was having trouble at home. Her stepbrother wouldn’t leave her alone. I got mad. I couldn’t just let him get away with what he was doing to her. She begged me not to do anything.”
“That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have.”
“Had I left him alone, she’d still be alive. Her death is my fault.”