Rellik(52)
“Please don’t be scared of me.”
Her eyes swam, her finger pointed at me as she retreated further. “Don’t. Don’t you dare.”
“Please let me explain.”
“You’re just like my father,” she choked out, a tear spilling over her lashes and rolling down her cheek.
“The father you asked me to kill?”
“It’s not the same.” Her body bowed at the waist, and she was on the verge of becoming ill.
“Why isn’t it? Ella, he was a bad man. I did what you asked of me. I helped you.”
“No.” She shook her head, begging to take back what we’d had together. “No.”
“It’s too late for regret, Ella. Please, just let me explain. Please.” I couldn’t fathom the betrayal she must be feeling. She’d bared herself to me, shared her darkest secrets, and I masqueraded as her hero. I was no better than the monsters in her closet, the monsters in her head.
“Jesus Christ, I’m such a fucking cliché. The girl with daddy issues.” She laughed sardonically.
“That’s not what this is. It’s not who I am.”
“Who are you, Ryder? Who the fuck are you, because you’re not the hero.”
“I’m your magic shield, Ella.” We fit together so perfectly, bonded by dark pasts. She swallowed hard, nodding slightly as she visibly relaxed, understanding that our bond was special.
“I made a mistake. I was young, and I did something that I could never have understood the consequences for.” My hands dropped to my sides as I relived the horrible, tragic nightmare of my father’s death.
* *
“Ryder, I’m with a customer.”
“I figured out the chorus for ‘Behind Blue Eyes.’” I was beyond excited at how my skills on the guitar had progressed, but my father blew me off, turning his attention back to the young blonde who owned the car on which he had just replaced the front brakes.
He put his hand on her shoulder to guide her out of the garage, his fingers lingering on her bare skin as she laughed flirtatiously. He leaned closer, whispering something in her ear, and she smacked him playfully on the chest.
“Finish up that wheel, Ryder,” he called behind him as they slipped outside into the darkness. I propped my guitar in the corner of the garage and went to the front passenger side of the car. I kicked the cotter key across the garage floor, muttering curse words under my breath as I bent down to finish securing the tire. I’d spent all day helping him replace the front brakes just to get a moment to show him what I’d learned. Fuck this car. Fuck him.
The consequences of my anger didn’t become relevant until a few days later, when that tire flew off, causing them to lose control and wreck due to the missing pin.
* *
“What did you do?”
My attention snapped back to Ella, her lips quivering as she struggled to understand.
“I killed my father and his girlfriend.”
Her hand went over her mouth as she gasped audibly.
“I was a child. I was careless, and losing him destroyed my entire life, but that doesn’t make me any less responsible. I knew the proper way to put the wheel back on. My father drilled it into me over and over again. I didn’t do it right. I just never thought something would ever happen.” The only thing that kept me grounded was Katie. She was gravity, a force strong enough to help me suppress the anger inside me.
“Was Katie an accident too?”
“I never hurt her. I…loved her. You have to believe me.” Another blow, a stabbing pain directly in my heart. I wondered if that is how my victims felt. If the betrayal was worse than the actual mercy of death. I should have paid better attention to what my father taught me and he and that woman would be alive. Had I been there for Katie I could have saved her. Even if I didn’t mean to cause them harm, their blood was on my hands.
“Why? Why does it matter what I think of you?”
“Because I need you to know I wouldn’t do anything to you. I could never hurt you.”
“You are hurting me. I trusted you. I told you things I’ve never said to anyone.”
I closed my eyes, struggling to silence the voices, the onslaught of memories. “I’m trying to help you, Ella. If I’d been there for Katie when she needed me, had I not gone after Bryce…”
“Bryce?” Her eyes widened, and I could see she was hopeful he was dead, her heart disagreeing with her mind.
“A little hypocritical, don’t you think?”
Her eyes went back to the car as she wrapped her arms around herself. “I don’t know what to think.” She shook her head, the wheels inside her mind spinning as she struggled to admit she was no different from me. I did what she couldn’t. I ended the nightmares for her.