It didn’t matter how I felt about myself, Ryder had a way of making every flaw feel beautiful. I wondered if he made other women feel that way. The thought made my stomach sink, and I ducked my head.
“Hey?” His fingers went under my chin, and our bodies stilled as he raised my face, forcing me to look at him. “What’s wrong?” His eyes searched mine.
“You…you make me feel so…special.”
“You don’t think you are?”
“It’s not that.” I shrugged, but that was part of the problem.
“Ella.”
I ducked my head just as a tear fell, but I knew he had seen it. He pulled me against his chest, holding me while I broke down, until my sobs quieted and my body stilled. Carefully, he rolled us over and positioned himself between my legs. His fingers ran over my cheek as he wiped away my tears and very slowly entered me. I’d never made love before, never knew what loving a man could feel like, but with Ryder I could easily slip inside that fantasy.
He kissed me tenderly as he whispered my name against my lips, making me feel like I was the only woman in the world.
“You’re so beautiful,” he mumbled as my hips rolled against his. “So perfect.”
I was hungry now for his kisses, but he controlled the pace. There was a reason people like us chose hard and rough. Emotionally connecting with someone else wasn’t what we were looking for, and it was avoided at all costs. That’s how you kept from getting hurt.
I wrapped my arms around him and held his body tight against mine, needing to be as close as possible to him.
“You are special, Ella.” My body pulsed around him as he grew even harder. “You”—his eyes locked on to mine—“are one of a kind.”
He saw me. I wasn’t the girl who looked like Katie. He was doing this for me. I came undone whispering his name against his lips. His body tensed as he followed, panting my name.
Hurt
Chapter 24—Rellik
Hurt: to cause physical pain or injury
Ella rolled away from me, and I pulled her back against my chest, wrapping my arms tightly around her waist.
“I’d never done that before,” she said.
I pressed my lips against her bare shoulder. “Neither have I. I’m glad I was your first.”
She snuggled in tighter against me, her body fitting against mine like she was made to be there.
“I want you to think about what you asked me to do, Ella. I don’t want you to regret it later and hate me for it.”
“This isn’t something I asked from you on a whim. I would do it myself if I knew I could.”
“You don’t have to.”
She fell silent, and I struggled to ask her the question that was on my mind since she told me about her father. “Did he hurt you? Touch you?”
She shook her head and wiped her hand under her eye. “No. He was a different kind of monster.”
I pressed my lips against her temple, and she sighed. “And your mother?”
“I don’t think she ran from him. I think she gave herself to him so he wouldn’t come looking and find me.”
“Jesus, Ella.”
“The gun. I want you to use the gun.”
“I can’t shoot your dad with your weapon. They can trace it back to you with ballistics.”
“It’s not my gun.”
I propped myself up on my elbow and looked down at her. She rolled onto her back, a small smile playing on her lips. “A few months ago, I saw Coach at a grocery store. I waited for him to go inside, and when he did, I searched his glove box. I found the Alexander’s new address and that gun.” She shrugged. “Kill two birds with one stone.”
“You’re amazing.” I sat up, grabbing her hands and pulling her from the bed. “What are we waiting for?”
I quickly called Trigger and explained to him that I needed any information he could find on Ella’s mother. He agreed not to mention it to Phantom.
Sacrifice (2)
Chapter 25—Rellik
Sacrifice: destruction or surrender of something for the sake of something else
Looking out at the rundown house, white paint peeling to reveal old, warped, rotten wood, my stomach turned. Inside would hold unspeakable secrets of torture and death. It was the physical manifestation of the evil that dwelled inside it. I gripped Ella’s hand, her eyes meeting mine. There was sadness in her gaze but no uncertainty.
“You don’t have to be here for this.” I rubbed my thumb against the back of her hand as she stared at the dilapidated building.
“I need answers.”
I swallowed hard as I climbed the broken front steps and pulled open the screen door that hung by one hinge. It squeaked loudly, and a man yelled from somewhere inside, followed by a loud, hacking cough. He pulled open the front door and narrowed his eyes. I looked him over in his dirty jeans stained will motor oil and dirty, white cotton shirt. My stomach rolled at the smell of mildew that wafted off him. I tugged the bill of my worn-out White Sox hat lower. He was much older than I’d expected. It was more than obvious that this frail man was not the dream killer. He may have been evil in his day, but there was no way he was carrying out violent murders across the coast. But that didn’t make him any less evil in Ella’s eyes.