“You want me to thank you?” I snapped as I grabbed the shoes and strapped them on my feet. He laughed, shaking his head in frustration.
“Last night was all the thanks I need.”
I narrowed my eyes as he smirked.
“Fuck you.”
“We did that already. I just want to talk.” He tilted his head, eyebrow raised as he waited for me to decide what I wanted. “Come on, Ella. I’m trying to be nice here.”
“It takes a lot for effort for you, doesn’t it?”
“At the moment, yes.” He rubbed his hand along his jaw, clearly losing his patience. “You know I’m not going to hurt you. If you thought so, you would have screamed by now.”
I knew if he didn’t care, had no feelings, he would have hurt me last night. Instead he forced himself to be easy with me, even when I didn’t want him to be. Ryder was raw and unfiltered. He acted on impulse, but that didn’t mean he was a bad person. He wasn’t going to do anything to me, and that included causing a scene in public, just like in the parking lot.
“I’m sorry I threatened you.”
“You’re not forgiven.”
“Don’t you have something to say to me?”
“No.”
“You don’t want to apologize for pulling a gun on me?”
“I’m leaving.” I walked around him, keeping my eyes ahead as I made my way to the door. I could hear his footsteps behind me, but I didn’t quicken my pace. I knew I needed him, but trusting him or anyone was too hard for me to do. I was stubborn and didn’t like that he always had the upper hand.
Stepping outside, I was thankful for the cloud coverage that cloaked the world in an eerie gray. As much as I was trying to avoid spilling the truth to Ryder, I couldn’t deny that I felt safer knowing he was behind me.
I walked slowly as his SUV crept beside me with his windows down. I refused to look at him. For once the heat wasn’t oppressive. I enjoyed being able to gather my thoughts and figure out where I was going to go from here with what I needed to do. A few sporadic drops landed on me, and I pretended not to notice.
“You’re acting like a child,” Ryder called out, not bothering to hide the irritation in his voice.
“Better than what you’re acting like.” I bit my lip to hide my smirk.
“And what’s that, Ella?” His voice rose as if he was being playful, something I wasn’t entirely sure he was capable of.
I couldn’t help but glance over at him, my irritation evaporating. He had a way of making me forget. “You’re a dick.”
“You want my dick?” His voice carried, and I ducked my head in embarrassment, not certain if anyone else was around.
I began to walk faster, and he had to pass another car to stay beside me.
“Come on, Ella. You can do better than that.”
“I could always do this.” I slipped between two buildings. I heard him shout a curse, and the engine accelerated behind me as he hurried to come around the block. I waited for the engine sound to fade into the distance before slipping back out the way I’d come and walking back in the direction of the library, the raindrops falling heavy now.
I knew I was poking a bear, and part of me enjoyed knowing that as angry as I made Ryder, he held back. It was a twisted feeling, but not one I’d experienced before. The men who’d come before him in my life didn’t think twice about hurting me. There was a safety in this feeling, and I needed to know he wouldn’t give up on me like others had.
I continued by the library and hurried down Chester Avenue. My eyes darted behind me whenever I’d hear a vehicle approach, unable to breathe until it passed me by.
I’d almost made it to Langley Park when a pair of headlights blinded me and the vehicle rolled to a stop just a few feet away. I hesitated before slowly approaching it. The driver door opened, and Ryder stepped out into the street, rain beating down on him. He looked like he was ready for a foot chase if necessary.
“You don’t take a hint,” I called out, but his expression didn’t soften, and I knew I might have gone too far.
“Get in the fucking car, Ella.”
“Since you asked so nicely.” I started to walk by the vehicle, and he moved behind it to cut me off at the rear end. Grabbing my shoulders, he pressed me against the back of the SUV. I couldn’t help but fixate on the drop of water that ran over his lower lip. I wanted to lick it off him, making it very hard to maintain my anger. But Ryder had a way of bringing it out in people, and he didn’t waste a moment.
“Get in the fucking car. You’re going to give me answers.”
“And if I say no?”