Relinquish(99)

“What about the girls?” Bastien asks, giving me a knowing glance. Of course he knows I’m terrified that Aminah and Zahra are here. They were never cut out for this life. They are peaceful… Well, at least Aminah is. Zahra can be a fighter when provoked.

“They’re fine. Kyan and Toren are keeping them close to base. They won’t be coming out to play until the wedding.”

“After the wedding,” I amend. Eamon glances toward me, obviously not the least bit happy with my correction. “If you bust in before I’m married, then I lose my title to the throne if… when Aloysius dies. You can’t attack until after the ceremony.”

“But that doesn’t give us enough time to rescue you,” Eamon protests.

“I’ve tried telling her that. You know Illyria. Stubborn as an old mule,” Bastien growls, his arms tightly crossed over his chest.

Eamon glances at him and then back at me. “If we don’t make it to you in time, he could—”

I hold up my hand. “I know the risks. It still has to be this way. You know that better than anyone, Eamon.”

He grits his teeth and looks to Bastien for help, but he merely shrugs. “When have you ever been able to talk her out of anything?”

Eamon’s lip curls into a scowl. “Good point. Fine, we do it your way, but… I want you to be the one to tell Kyan.”



Dipping low into the closet, I uncover my bag, ripping into it to pull out my cammo pants and black tank top. “Heaven,” I whisper as I run my hands over the material.

In less than a minute, I have tossed my see-through dress aside and don my familiar clothes. It feels wonderful to be concealed for the first time since I arrived. Standing before the mirror, I pull the clips from my hair, watching as black waves fall over my shoulders, loosely tousled and curled at the ends.

“You look stunning,” Bastien whispers from behind as he emerges from his room.

I knew he wouldn’t sleep, not while Eamon remained in my room. We talked for over an hour, lying side by side in my bed. It felt oddly comforting, almost like it used to be between us.

I glance down at my tank top and grin. “At least it leaves a bit to the imagination.”

Bastien nods. “I like this better.”

“Me too.” I sink down onto my bed and begin lacing up my boots.

“And Eamon?”

I wince, knowing this was bound to happen. “Don’t worry. Nothing happened. We just talked.”

He lowers his gaze, turning so I can only see his profile. “I wasn’t trying to pry…”

I laugh. “Of course you were. I’ll bet you stayed propped up right next to the door, trying to listen.”

“A tempting thought,” he says dryly, “but it’s not my place to monitor you. Your relationship with him is none of my business.”

The heaviness in his voice hurts. “I’m sorry,” I whisper.

“For what?” He moves closer in the dark. “You did nothing wrong.”

I stand and face him, unsure of what do with my arms. They feel awkward at my sides yet oddly placed if I cross them. I settle for stuffing my hands in my pockets, grateful to have them once more. “Then why does it feel like I did? I hate that I keep hurting you, that no matter what I do or say it’s never enough. It’s not fair.”

Bastien closes the gap between us and gently lifts my chin up toward him. “I’m here because I want to be. Don’t worry about the rest. I can handle it.”

My hands clench into fists within my pockets. “You always do this for me. Having you and Eamon so close isn’t a good idea.”

To this Bastien nods. “I agree. Things get… complicated, but that’s not something I want you to worry about. I’m fine. You need to focus on finding a way to break Aloysius’s mind control.”

I remove one hand from my pocket and brush my hair back from my face. “Will things ever be easy again?”

His gaze shifts beyond me, unseeing. “Someday it will.”

“But not today,” I mutter.

“No.” He looks back at me. I can see the hidden depths of his pain. “Not today.”

Staring at him now, I can’t imagine my life without him. He has always known my thoughts and emotions, been the backbone I needed when I was too weak. He roots me in reality, but that ability reminds me that I’m not free to love him.

“You’d best pretend to be sleeping when Alesta arrives. Otherwise, she’ll think you were in on my escape plan. You know she’ll be furious about messing with her wedding day schedule.” I move toward the window, turning back with one leg up on the sill. “Oh, and try not to look too gorgeous when you first wake. It’s really not fair to her.”