I close my eyes for a moment, knowing I’m going to regret this. Setting aside my bowl, I rub my hands on my pants and turn to fully face him. “I have no intention of spending the next two days having you stare at me like that. You might as well spill it.”
Bastien frowns, appearing to weigh out his words before he too sets aside his mug. He crosses his arms over his chest. “I want to know what happened between you and Eamon. I know I have no right to ask. Let’s just chalk it up to wild curiosity.”
I brush stray hairs back from my eyes. While Bastien chopped his long hair off, I let mine grow. It now drapes nearly to my waist. On most days, I wear it up in a messy bun or a ponytail when I’m in a hurry. I hardly ever let it fall free, but tonight I just don’t care.
“It’s really not about what Eamon did to me… It’s more what he didn’t that’s the problem.”
He doesn’t move. In the flickering of the firelight, he almost looks like a statue, darkly beautiful. The light plays tricks in his eyes, dancing in the hollow of his neck. “Eamon’s had a hard time accepting my future. After you left, he became obsessed with perfecting his control over seeing the future. He worked relentlessly with Kyan. At first we thought he was just trying to improve himself for the sake of aiding the rebellion, but we quickly realized he wasn’t moving in that direction.”
Bastien leans forward but says nothing. He doesn’t pry or press me as I clear my throat. He waits patiently. “It didn’t take long for him to begin to withdraw. At first it was small things. A wistful look, a missed sentence here or there. He hid it pretty well at first, but then he slipped.”
“How?”
“He let me touch him.” I stare into the flickering blues in the heart of the fire. It dances about, twining with the vivid oranges, spiraling and writhing in time together. “We were prepping for a battle in the fifth quadrant. The snow was falling in visible sheets, a freak late spring storm. The sleet pounding against the tent roof so hard I was sure it would pierce through it. The winds were howling so loudly I began to wonder if there was a pack of wolves just outside our door. Kyan was giving us our final instructions.”
I look down at my fingers, realizing they have begun to tremble slightly, the tips red from the cold. “I was scared. I’ll admit that. I knew it was going to be a hard fought battle. The intel was spotty and the storm came upon us so suddenly that I feared we would lose before the battle even began. That’s why I touched him. I needed reassurance, but when our hands met, I was sucked into his vision.”
“It was disconcerting at first. I’d only ever done that once or twice before and that was when I was expecting it. Everything was a swirl of gray, cold and confusing. I could hear voices, as if they were calling from a distance. I could hear my voice and…” I pause and dart a glance over at Bastien but quickly look away. “And yours.”
“Mine?”
I continue on without stopping. “I could feel him searching, like he was wading through the ocean during a hurricane. I was tossed about, barely hanging on, but there was nothing tangible to grasp. That’s when I heard the screaming.”
Bastien’s gaze is darkly intense. He looks as if he is holding his breath.
“I woke up on the floor with Kyan hovering over me. He was furious, not at me, but at Eamon. I realized as I looked up at him that there was snow in his hair, blotting his eyelashes. I remember looking past him to see that the tent had been torn away, the table and all of our maps lost to the winds. That is what I had tried to hold on to and when I lost my grasp, everything was gone except me.”
I reaffirm my grasp about my legs, feeling a chill settle over me that I know has little to do with the night air. The fire rustles before me, warm and inviting. “I knew immediately what had happened. Kyan was furious with Eamon, not only for endangering my life, but for being so distracted before a battle. He made Eamon remain behind, trudging through the snows in search of our maps instead of leading the battle.”
A hint of a smile crosses Bastien’s lips. “That was your first mission.”
I nod. “There was no one else to lead. Kyan gave me command and we sacked the base with only five men lost. It was a great victory.”
“I know,” he says. “The information you recovered in that base helped my men take out the base in the southern lands.”
“That was you?” I whisper.
“Of course.” he laughs. His smile slowly fades. “You didn’t know?”
“No.” I shake my head. “No one told me anything about you.”