“Adam respects me. You don’t know him.”
“Do you know him? How long have you two been together?”
“It’s none of your business,” I say as he stops a couple of feet away from me.
“It is my business if you’re planning to stay with him. I don’t want someone like that around our daughter if they grant us visitation.”
“He’s not a monster. He has a right to question why you’re here in my apartment after what happened last week.”
He takes another step forward and I take a step back, bumping the backs of my legs against a box. “I don’t want to talk about him,” he says, taking another step forward so our faces are inches apart. “I came here for you and believe me when I say that I won’t stop until I get you back.” His fingers graze the side of my face and I hold my ground, unwilling to crumble for him. “Think about this. Think about what it will be like to hold her in your arms.”
He kisses my forehead and leaves me with a handful of legal documents and a heart full of questions. I don’t know if this is the best or the worst news Chris could have delivered to me, but a huge part of me has never felt more grateful for him. Chris has always known exactly what I need and he’s always been willing to do whatever it takes to give it to me.
I take a deep breath and grab my keys off the breakfast bar. I lock the front door and head for the beach.
I find Adam sitting near the edge of the water and he doesn’t look at me as I sit next to him. I dig my hands into the warm sand and scoop up a handful. I let it fall slowly and watch as most of it is carried away on the breeze. I guess that’s the way secrets are. They’re only heavy when you’re holding them. As soon as you let go, the significance of keeping those secrets hidden blows away and everything falls into place.
“My daughter’s name is Abigail,” I say, and he finally looks at me. “That’s what he came to tell me. He thinks he can get his lawyer to arrange an open adoption.”
“Is that what you want?”
I shrug as I wrap my arms around my knees. “I don’t know if I could handle seeing her and leaving her. I’ve already done that before and it nearly destroyed me.”
“But you wouldn’t be leaving her forever this time.”
We sit in silence for a long time until the sun begins to touch the horizon and Adam grabs my hand. “Come on. Let’s see if the water has the answer.”
He kisses my hand before he stands and pulls me up. “I love you, Claire. I’ll support you whatever you choose to do. You know that, right?”
I smile as I breathe in this moment. “I do.”
He pulls me toward the water and we trudge through the knee-high waves, in our clothes, until we’re waist deep. A small wave crashes into me and I get a mouthful of ocean. He laughs as I spit out the salty water. Then he kisses me. The salt in my mouth mixes with the sweetness of his tongue and I can feel his smile curving against my mouth.
He pulls away as he looks into my eyes and doesn’t say a word. He doesn’t have to.
As soon as the sun begins to set, it seems to fall too quickly from the sky, like a heart in love. The relentless pull of love is a thousand times harder to fight than the tides. If you’re lucky, you’ll make it out before you drown. If you’re even luckier, you’re pulled under just long enough to wash away the sorrow. If you’re really lucky, like me, you resurface just in time to find the one you love floating right beside you.