“You don’t know that.”
He brushes my messy hair out of my eyes and the look in his eyes breaks my heart. I will never tell him.
“Come here,” he whispers as he pulls me into his arms.
As soon as I press the side of my face to his shoulder, the tears come again. What the hell was I thinking? Enough time hasn’t passed since that day in the hospital. I should have known it was too soon.
Chapter Twelve
Relentless Waves
AFTER SATURDAY’S BREAKDOWN, I’M SHOCKED that he still wants me to go to the beach with him on Wednesday night, my only day off from the café this week. I spend all day Wednesday at the apartment. I immediately get caught up in an endless loop of watching recorded episodes of Vampire Diaries, doing laundry, and meditating. By the time Senia gets home early from work, I’ve washed all our clothes and linens and meditated four times. I haven’t felt this relaxed in weeks.
She hangs her purse up on the peg inside the coat closet and plops down next to me on the sofa. “I can’t work with him anymore!”
I know she’s referring to her dad. He spoils her financially, but he’s also extremely controlling. Growing up, her father dictated what Senia and her two sisters wore, ate, and who they befriended up until they graduated from high school. She wasn’t allowed to date until her senior year and only then because her date was a friend of the family. When she got to UNC two years ago, she was a completely different person than she is now. She was scared and shy, but it didn’t take long for the real Senia to emerge. In the beginning of our freshman year, it was the alcohol that brought her out. Eventually she stopped getting drunk every weekend.
The first time she talked back to her father was when he refused to put the pink slip for her car in her name. She knew he only wanted the car in his name so he could use the car as a means to control her. From the moment she told him to fuck off their relationship changed. He now only speaks to her when he needs to for work purposes. Their relationship is almost enough to make me grateful I never knew my father.
“What did he do today?” I ask as I reach for the remote.
“Why do you ask like that, like you’re tired of hearing me complain about my job?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to give off that vibe. I guess it was just a bad word choice. I should have left off ‘today’.”
Senia sighs as she puts her feet up on the coffee table. “It’s okay. I’m just really annoyed right now. He wants me to move back in this weekend. I told him there’s still four more weeks before the semester starts, but he said he would take my car away if I don’t go back to working at the main office, where he can keep an eye on me. He’s tired of me leaving work early.”
“And your response was to leave work early?”
She turns to me and I can see by the apologetic look in her eyes that she agreed to her father’s demands. “I’m so sorry, Claire, but I need my car.”
I nod and manage a weak smile. “It’s no big deal. I can find another roommate. And, hey, Linda might actually give me more hours if I ask Adam to go on a date with her.”
“God, I feel like such a dirt-bag leaving you hanging like this. I really wanted to spend the rest of the summer here.”
“Don’t feel bad,” I say, grabbing her hand. “I’ll be fine. And you and Eddie are welcome to hang out or sleepover whenever you want.”
She stares at me for a moment and I can see the wheels turning in her head. “You should move in with—”
“Don’t say it!”
“Whatever. Are you two still going surfing today?”
“Yeah, unless you want to do something. I feel like I should be spending the rest of this week with you.”
“Oh, please. You act like I’m dying in four days.”
“Well, not all of you.”
“Yeah, just the part that loves watching you meditate.”
At exactly six in the evening, a knock comes at the door. I’m ready with my yellow bikini underneath my faded-blue Roxy T-shirt and a pair of white board shorts that I usually only wear around the house because they barely cover my ass, but Senia insisted I wear them. I’m excited. I’ve seen guys—hot guys—surfing at the beach dozens of times since I moved to Wrightsville Beach, but something about getting to see Adam out there gives me butterflies. I’m finally going to get to share his passion for the water with him. And enough time, and meditation, has passed between Saturday and today that I’m feeling a lot less guilty about leaving him hanging.
I open the door and Adam is leaning against the doorframe with one hand in the pocket of his board shorts. He’s shirtless so even when he looks up at me with those striking green eyes, all I can look at is his perfectly muscular chest.