“Fuck off. I’m just saying if you want Beth back, you better start figuring out how to make that happen instead of pushing her farther away.”
“When I want your advice, I’ll ask for it. Besides there’s too much shit between us. Looking at her some days is hard enough. I sure as hell don’t want to talk to her.”
“So fuck her. Sex can work out a hell of a lot of anger.”
“Fuck no! Women are too much fucking trouble. I think I’ll stick to my hand,” I tell him, grabbing the bottle on the table and pouring more into my glass.
“Funny how you decided on your hand and not a club whore. I mean, they’re free, they have no strings. Seems to me a warm pussy is better than a calloused hand any fucking day of the week. Take my advice, Skull. If a woman has grabbed more than your dick, don’t let it go easily,” he says, getting up.
I let him leave without responding. When I want him to be my fucking therapist, I’ll tell him. It doesn’t matter if he is right. The thought of sinking between the legs of any woman right now leaves my cock as limp as if I just took a swim in an ice pond in the Arctic.
Any woman besides Beth.
Motherfucker.
“If you stare at him any harder, your tongue will be hanging out,” Briar’s old lady, Stephanie Sakal, says. Everyone calls her Sacks. I don’t know why and I’m kind of afraid to ask. I like her though. Her and Briar have just got together. Love at first sight. He literally saw her walking on the street, picked her up, put her on the back of his bike and then claimed her. I’m learning these Devil’s Blaze men move hard and fast when it comes to women. Too bad I picked the one who didn’t have staying power. Again, my eyes go to Skull, who is sitting over there talking to Sabre.
“He’s planning something,” I say mostly to myself.
“Men usually are, honey,” Candy says. She’s one of the club women, but she seems cool. She swore she never slept with Skull. Not that it should matter, but it does.
“Amen to that,” Katie joins in, kissing a sleeping Gabby on her forehead. We should put her in her crib, but Katie loves holding her, so I haven’t tried. It wouldn’t surprise me if there’s little Torches running around soon. Heaven help us all. I can’t imagine the chaos they would cause. I almost smile, then I remember I won’t be around to see it.
“I mean something about Matthew and Colin,” I mumble, wishing I could read Skull’s lips.
The girls go quiet. “What makes you say that?” Katie asks, suddenly studying Skull even more than I am.
“It’s just a feeling, but it’s a strong one.”
“So? He needs to shut the fuckers down. Blow them off the map as far as I’m concerned,” one of the other girls says. I can’t remember her name. She’s Annie’s friend, kind of quiet, but I don’t think it’s because she’s shy.
“Sabre says he’s going to be leaving again sometime this week,” Annie whispers like she’s giving out state secrets, and I guess in a way she is.
“That means they’ve found Colin,” Katie says.
“Or Matthew,” I mumble.
“With any luck, both of them. We should party,” Sacks says.
“I need to find out when they’re going and where,” I mutter to myself, then realize the others heard me. Shit.
“Why the fuck would you need to know that?” Katie asks, but she knows already; I see it in her eyes.
“Because I’m going to kill him.”
“Bethie,” she starts.
I cut her off. “Don’t start, Katie. You above all people know what Matthew took from me… from us.”
“You don’t even know for sure it’s Matthew. It could be Colin.”
“Then he’ll just be practice for the real target. They both deserve to die. You said that yourself.”
“You can’t risk yourself. Gabby needs you. I can do it.”
“Hell no. You’ve given that monster enough. I will kill him. It’s my right.”
“I think that’s my line,” she mutters.
“You have Torch and you can’t let anything stand in your way of that Katie. What you have is real and you get to live it out. You don’t just give that up.”
“You could have that,” she mutters. The other girls go silent as we talk. They’re hearing too much, but I trust them. I don’t know why, but despite everything, I feel like we’re all family.
“Skull can barely look at me. I’m not getting that.”
“There’s other men, honey,” Candy says, and I give her a sad smile that I feel all the way into the depths of my soul.