Her words are truthful. She’s just saying aloud the very thing that I have struggled the most with, the very reason Pistol is still drawing breath. I should have ended the fucking asshole way before he got the chance to betray me.
“Me voy de aquí,” I growl. I can’t do this with her. I can’t. I know my failures are the last thing I want to hear Beth throw in my face.
“Go, but it doesn’t matter. I’m leaving, Skull. I’m not staying under the same roof with you.”
I’ve turned so my back is to her. I take a breath. I don’t want her here either. She’s right. I can’t go on like this. Que así sea.
“You won’t leave until I’ve neutralized Colin and Matthew. Then, you can leave. I don’t care where the fuck you go after that. I just want my daughter safe, but you better never keep me from Gabriella, Beth. If you do, you will not survive the hell I unleash on you.”
“It can’t be any worse than the hell I’ve survived, Skull. But don’t worry. I wouldn’t do that to Gabby. I want her to know the man I once loved.”
“Sure doesn’t seem like it,” I snarl, opening the door.
“Yeah, well hearing you tell Matthew that you’ll help hunt me down in exchange for your daughter has a way of changing a woman’s mind,” she says as I reach the outside.
Her words stop me and I turn around and face her. She’s standing at the door now, her eyes glowing with unshed tears, but she’s facing me head-on, her face set.
“Me escuchaste? What the fuck do you mean?”
“Matthew made sure I heard all about the deal the two of you agreed to.”
Son of a fucking bitch. My mind immediately goes back to the phone conversation I had with Matthew. It replays every damning word. Clearly she didn’t hear the whole conversation, but what the fuck does it matter? She had already succeeded in keeping my daughter away from me for way too fucking long. The only thing this information changes is the fact that Matthew will now reach the end of his life before Colin. That’s all.
“You took my daughter from me for over a year by that time. You deserved whatever I decided to do. You still do.”
“Poor Skull. Everyone around you always lets you down. It never has anything to do with your own choices, does it?”
“You seriously…”
“I told you we couldn’t be together. All those years ago. I warned you. You made me believe you had it handled. People got killed because of our choice, because you wouldn’t let me go! Pistol was able to manipulate me because of your choices! And I ran away because I thought that’s what you wanted! Because that woman out there showed me things that made me believe Gabby and I had no place in your life anymore! Yet you’re getting ready to take her to bed, and hating me all the while. So fuck you, Skull. I’m done being the scapegoat here. Everything, all this shit, it’s not just on me. Look in the fucking mirror!” she growls, then goes to slam the door.
I put my hand up to stop her. Anger is vibrating through my body and I’ve had it.
“Cuidadoso, mi esposa. You are on thin ground. I still hold your life in my hands. You go too far.”
“Like I said, do your worst. I’ve survived more than you can ever imagine. And I’m not your wife. I never was, but I’m definitely not now.”
“You don’t have to remind me of that. I give fucking thanks for it every day!” I lie. It’s a bold-faced lie, but she’ll never know it. Ever.
“You really are a bastard,” she whispers, and I can see the hurt in her eyes, and for once, I take pleasure in it. Let her fucking hurt. She’s killing me.
I’m not the one who gave up on us. You are.
“What? I am just giving you the truth. You should try it sometime. I realize it’s new to you, but it actually is how most of the people in the world communicate! The only favor you ever did for me was refusing to marry me! But then, you were already planning on taking my child and leaving me, weren’t you? Maldita perra!”
She blanches at my words. Does she understand Spanish, or is she just now realizing that I know she lied to me from the beginning? It doesn’t matter. She knows what I think of her. That’s enough.
“Whatever you want to think, Skull. Go ahead.”
“No defense? Nothing to say for yourself, Beth? Have you finally ran out of lies?”
“It wouldn’t matter. You’ll believe what you want to. It doesn’t matter what I say. Funny, how you can see all my faults but no one else’s, not even the woman sharing your bed. Just go. We can avoid each other until you do whatever it is you need to do so Gabby and I can move out.”