I flopped onto the bed, landing on my back. What in the hell was I going to do?
I have to leave.
All I really wanted was to talk to Trace, but I knew he’d tell me not to run away and he’d deal with the fallout. I couldn’t let that happen. He’d looked so happy with his brothers around. I didn’t want trouble because of my past, not when it affected Trace and his family.
The pain in my chest was excruciating as I thought of separating from him. Over the last several weeks, we’d grown closer and closer. I had no doubt that I was in love with him, and leaving him would leave a wound that would probably never heal.
I have to love him enough to let go.
And I did love him that much, and more. There had never been any real future for me and Trace. I needed to rip off the Band-Aid and deal with all of my pain so I could eventually move on.
I wouldn’t have the promised job, but now that my record was clear, I could get something else.
I’ll be okay. I’ll be okay.
“Eva! The door is locked!” Trace’s voice sounded from the other side of the door.
I jumped up, trying to stamp down my panic at the thought of being without him.
I flipped the lock on the door, let him enter, then closed and locked the entrance again.
“Are you okay?”
Wanting to break down in tears as I saw the tender compassion in his eyes as he looked at me, I hugged him, trying to memorize his scent.
His arms wrapped around my waist immediately and he just held me. “Hey, something is wrong.”
“No.” I denied it. “I just missed you.”
“I think I’m glad,” he said devilishly.
“Everything okay with your brothers?”
“It’s good. I think Sebastian is moving to Denver to work with me.”
He sounded relieved…and happy. My heart lightened slightly. I knew he wanted to be close to his brothers again, and it was happening. Little by little, pretty soon the broken Walker family would be put together again. “You sound happy.”
“I am,” he replied, sliding a hand down my back to squeeze my jean-clad butt. “There’s only one more thing that I want this Christmas.”
“What?”
“You,” he answered huskily.
“You’ve already had me,” I teased. God, I had to keep this conversation light.
He pulled back and I was mesmerized by the light in his molten green eyes. “I want you forever, Eva.”
My heart skittered as I looked into his eyes. It was what I wanted, too, but it wasn’t going to happen. But I wanted him to know something. “Look, I have to say something, and I don’t want you to react, okay? I just have something I want you to know.”
He nodded, but his expression was confused.
I took a deep breath. “Somewhere along the way in this fake engagement, it became so much more than just an act. I care about you, Trace. I don’t know when, and I don’t know how it happened. I just know it’s true.”
He opened his mouth to say something, but I covered his lips with my fingers as I continued. “You don’t need to say anything. There are no expectations. I just wanted you to know, these have been the best weeks of my life.”
“Don’t act like you’re saying goodbye, Eva,” he said huskily, his eyes burning into mine.
He bent his head down and captured my lips before I could respond. His tongue penetrated my mouth with a determined purpose, and I opened to him. I needed him right now, had to be with him one last time.
“Fuck me,” I demanded urgently the moment he released my mouth.
“I plan on it,” he agreed, already stepping back to fumble with the zipper of my jeans.
Chapter Seventeen
Eva
We ripped and tore at each other’s clothing like we were going to die if we didn’t fuck in the next few seconds, and I can honestly say that was exactly how I felt. I was so hungry for Trace that I couldn’t breathe, and my heart was racing like an out of control freight train.
I yanked at the heavy fisherman’s sweater he was wearing as he knelt to shuck off my jeans and panties.
“Off,” I panted, making him lift his arms to let me relieve him of the garment as I impatiently kicked out of the denims and lingerie he’d lowered to my ankles.
He stood and made short work of my sweater and bra while I fumbled eagerly with the zipper of his pants. My hands were trembling so badly that Trace finally took over and got rid of his jeans and boxer briefs himself.
I moaned as he pinned my hands over my head on the wall, his eyes wild and feral as he stared down at me.
“Fuck, Eva. What in the hell have you done to me?” he growled.
I couldn’t answer. I just stared up at him as air sawed in and out of my lungs. Trace was raw right now, and he was breathtaking. My body was straining, vibrating with the need to have this man inside me.