I could easily see all of these issues because I was an outsider. I know that, for Trace, letting go was a struggle. He tried to act like he didn’t care, but he cared very much. Maybe too much. Easy for me to say, I guess, considering I had nobody. But my heart ached for the suffering this family had been through. And judging by what little Trace had shared, the family was still broken.
We were silent for a few minutes, Trace looking like he was lost in thought. I finished my coffee and sat the mug carefully on the end table next to my chair. He finished his moments later, and placed his used cup on the coffee table in front of him.
“Britney is definitely my fault,” he confessed with a stoic expression. “She went after Dane specifically because I dumped her.”
“She’s a poisonous snake,” I grumbled. “And it’s not your fault she sought Dane out. That’s all on her.”
It made my stomach roll to think that a woman could prey on a man who was as vulnerable as Dane.
“You make it sound like nothing is my fault.” There was humor in Trace’s voice.
“I’m sure you’re guilty of many things, but not your brothers’ problems. Both of them are wealthy, grown men who can choose what they want to do.”
“What am I guilty of then?” His tone was teasing.
You’re guilty of breaking my heart over a family that I’ve never even met. You’re guilty of making me care whether you’re all put together again, even though I’ve always hated the Walker name in the past. You’re guilty of doing things to me, making me feel emotions I’ve never had before. And it’s starting to mess with my head.
I took a deep breath. “I think you’re incredibly bossy, and you hate it when things don’t go exactly the way you want. I think your control is so important to you because if you ever lost it, it would make you less like your father. In your eyes, that would be almost unforgivable. I think you care about your brothers’ wellbeing more than you want to admit. And I think you’re a wonderfully generous man, but that’s a side of you that you don’t let anyone see.”
“I think you’re crazy.” Trace was frowning now.
I raised a brow, mimicking his expression when he was annoyed. “You think so?”
He nodded curtly. “I’m an asshole because I have to be. Business gets nasty.”
“You’re distant because you have to be. Do you think I don’t understand that?” I’d spent years being distant, having only books as friends while I stared at the same concrete walls and bars every single day. I got it. Obviously, he didn’t. For him, the distance wasn’t deliberate. It was the way he lived his life to protect himself.
“Maybe you do understand,” he said grudgingly. Trace stood and held out his hand. “Come with me.”
I knew that he was changing the subject because he wasn’t comfortable with talking about himself, but I let him off the hook. Hell, sometimes there were things I didn’t want to deal with either. I let him tug me to my feet and I followed in his wake as he made his way to his home office.
“You asked about the cell phone. I had some things delivered for you, things I knew you would need.”
And he thinks he’s an asshole? The breath whooshed from my lungs as he arrived at his destination and pointed toward a pile of goods that took up half of the floor space in his office. “What did you do?” I asked breathlessly.
He’d already provided me a new wardrobe to play my part. Did I really need all this?
“Your new phone.” He unplugged the latest model iPhone from the charger and handed it to me. “I think it has everything you’ll need installed.”
I took the cell from him automatically, still gaping at the ton of things he thought it was necessary for me to have.
A new laptop computer.
A digital camera.
A Kindle e-reader?
I reached out and touched the marvelous device that was capable of bringing me something I dearly loved: unlimited books.
“I thought you’d like it. I opened an account for you, and loaded it with funds from a gift card. You can get as many books as you want.”
Oh. My. God. He’d went so far overboard on what I really needed, but it touched me that he’d been listening to me when I told him I loved to read. “Trace, I don’t need all of these things. They aren’t necessities.”
“Some women would argue about that,” he answered drily.
“I wouldn’t. I know exactly what I need to survive.” I picked up another box. “What’s this?”
He shrugged. “Jewelry. If we’re engaged, I’ve obviously given you stuff. Gifts.”